Smurf's Bar Crawl

This picture says it all!

So I attended my first bar crawl.  Eli and I headed to downtown Lansing.  I was so excited to introduce Eli to my other part of my life.  I have made some great friends along this journey.  I have learned so much from some of these people.  We had a great group and I can honestly say that some of these people felt like family.  Most of the time we all worked as a team with a common goal and a want to make a difference.  We have cried together, complained together, but most of all we have all had some great laughs together.  It's hard to believe that I won't see some of these people four times a week anymore.  As much as I was so completely DONE  with this program, I will never forget all the learning experiences and friendships I have made along the way!  This night was a great night to end our trip to hell and back!  We DID IT, we succeeded and damn did we celebrate!!!  I LOVE ALL MY FELLOW SMURFS and will miss you all so much!!!!

The rest of the pictures along with some of our last days as 'Nursing Students' are here.....

Or just click on the album

Nursing Madness :)

Bandit AKA 'The Sock Bandit'

THE CLAW

Bandit was hit by a car when he was about a year old.  Couple surgeries later, a pneumothorax, and lots of cage rest, he ended up with radial nerve damage and a great attitude.  Everyone recommended that I amputated his leg.  I thought it gave him character.  We decided to call it the claw, but it worked more like a hook.  He could catch birds with it, clean his face and tackle his other best buds in the household with it.  The claw made him who he was until the day he was send to be reunited with Stanley, Cloudy, Misty, Anabelle, Katie, and Capone.  He has left Bink, who was his best friend and right now it's so hard to watch Bink be sad and alone.

He was called Bandit because he would steal socks.  He would get into my Dad's sock drawer and then after I was married, Eli's sock drawer.  He would put socks randomly around the entire house.  The socks would have great big holes in them.  Rarely were you able to catch him in the act.  Sometime you could hear this crazy meow growl sound and see him walk around the corner with a sock in mouth like he just killed prey. 

He would nurse all my stray babies that I would bring home through the years, and there were ALOT.  He would clean them and keep them warm, watch over them and be a surrogate mother to them, except for the birds of course....  He was always in the mix.  Never cared what was new that was brought in the household and always wanted to pitch in and help. 

Bandit was 16 years old to the month.  He was my first baby!  He was with me through thick and thin....tech school, marriage, our first apartment, first house, children, jobs, and last but not least nursing school.  He was always around especially if you were happy, sick, injured, sad, or pregnant.  When my friends and I were all started to have children, we would call him the pregnancy test.  It was like he just knew.  He loved parties and loved attention.  When the girls were sick or sad he was there...ALWAYS.  After Eli and I told the girls that he passed, Erika was crying so hard she could barely speak and she spit out "he would be with me right now, trying to make me feel better, he can't be gone, he just can't".  And he would've been.  He would lick the tears away, cuddle up tight and just be there, no questions asked. It's was so hard to be the Mom in that moment and be strong so I could be there for her when I felt the same exact way.

There will NEVER be another pet in my life that could fill the hole of what he was to this family and to me.  You could have a conversation with him and he would answer you, he would even talk to himself on many occasions, usually in the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping.  He would wake us all up and you would hear all of us scream from our beds "BE QUIET BANDIT".  

 

His last Christmas with us

Seriously??  You woke me up for that????

Bandit always would study with me.  He was my study partner.  When he heard me get the books out, he was there.  He was there for my late night care map session.  He was there when I was stressed about a test.  Always laying on my papers.  Sometimes just to keep me company, sometimes for attention.  Be he was there.  The past couple of days have been so hard because I still think I see him because Boof looks so much like him and I just want to cry. 

There has been so much change in our lives this past week and this is one that I wish I could take away and just have a little more time.

Bandit will forever be in our hearts and is a part of many many memories that our family has made!

Stanley will always be my 'Fat Boy'

LET ME GIVE YOU A BIG KISS XOXO

He always let Makenna do anything to him!

Even cuddled with her when she was sick.

Stanley was the biggest of the litter. Eli wanted him and named him, Stanley just fit. I bottle fed him and his litter, he was one of my children before my real children. He would jump on your back if you bent over, it was almost as if he would come out of nowhere. He always had to be in the mix!

I have bottle fed MANY animal babies. He tolerated ALL of them. Him and Bandit would take over and be a surrogate to anything that I brought home. He had the nickname 'Shamu' for a while because at one point he was so fat he could help but rest after a few steps and could barely make it up the stairs. He would literally fall to the side in slow motion when he was at his best. He was the laziest most laid back cat in our family. Always out and about and loved to snuggle up close.

Last year he started loosing weight and was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. Even on medication he still slowly lost weight. Yesterday his respirations became increased and I could tell he was struggling to get around and I had to leave him to go to school. I felt so horrible leaving him like that but I had a test and had lab. When I got home after school I took him to work and I had to make 'the decision'. Chronic high blood pressure and hyperthyroidism damaged his heart and kidneys and both of his lungs filled with fluid and he was in heart failure. I had to say goodbye to my Budda Man. One of the most difficult things for me to deal with, to this day, is watching anything struggle to breath. I just can't handle it. I don't even know how I made it though our ordeal when Makenna was in the hospital with pneumonia and RSV. That was the toughest week of my life.

As an LVT I have become 'used to' euthanasia as just a part of my job, it is something that I deal with almost every day at work especially working in emergency veterinary care. Some days are harder than others. I know how to support the client in their loss. I have become quite the pro.

It never gets easier when they are your own. Stanley was purring and doing his head bump and rub love even as he fell asleep for the last time. I will miss him, I don't remember a day where he wasn't in it, either pestering me for food or just laying next to me while I studied. He loved our family and we loved him. He is now with Cloudy, he was the closest with her....or I guess he was the only one who tolerated her attitude. Yes I do believe there is an animal heaven. It's what has gotten me through the past 15 years in veterinary medicine.

So Thank You to everyone who was there for me yesterday including my AEC family and especially Eli. Thank You Colleen for helping me, being honest with me and supporting me as my friend and not as Doctor.  Thank You Juli for taking care of him for me and Thank You Dr. Robertson for helping me put an end to his suffering.

A Little Reflection

In February 2006, six months after Makenna was born I went on a retreat with two very special women.  It was the first time I left my children and husband and it was the first time Eli had to be a solo parent.  Sherry flew in from California and met Cathie and I at the airport in Colorado.  We rented a car and drove three hours through the jaw dropping Colorado mountains to one of the most peaceful places I have ever been to.  The retreat was called Captivating put on by the Ransom Hearth Ministries.  It was a great adventure! 

This was just before I started going to school full time taking prerequisite classes for nursing school.  I was a mother of three beautiful young little girls and a wife of 8 years.  Looking back, life seemed so simple then.  I laugh thinking that being a mother of three children under the age of 6, a wife, babysat for another baby, worked almost full time ~ thinking life seemed 'simple'.  When I look back though, there was a sense of comfort and contentment, knew who I was and knew exactly what I wanted.  I wish that I could return to some of those moments if even just for a few minutes that I felt so confident and secure.

This was also the first weekend Eli attended church without me.  I remember getting a text message from him, just after a session sitting on my bunk bed.  He told me that he packed all three of the girls up and took them out of the house and to church alone without me.  I was so happy and so proud of him.  With that I can also think back and remember all the years I went to church alone without him, I remember all that years of feeling I can do this (life) all by myself.  I still have these stubborn feelings but that's a whole other story.

That weekend changed a lot of what I thought I was and it changed our marriage.  Still to this day, on the days I struggle the most with life in general, I go back to moments on that retreat.  Moments of silence, courage, and stillness.  Moments of just being IN THE MOMENT.  I still remember how I felt, I can see the white capped mountain tops, felling so cold standing in line waiting to plummet from up in a tree to the woods beneath me.  The entire weekend was full of feelings of excitement, adventure, fear and happiness.  With all this came tears and lots of laughter!

I miss that feeling of home and security within myself.

I climbed a trail on this mountain alone in complete silence, half way up the mountain I found a bench and just sat for what felt like eternity.  I could have sat there forever.  I remember closing my eyes and as cold as it was, all I could feel was the warmth and the sunshine on my face and thinking life couldn't be any better.  I felt faith, hope and unconditional love. 

After one of our sessions, walking back to our cabin we witnessed this beautiful sky.  It was as if time stood still. 

Xochimilcos

Madres hermosas en Xochimilcos :)

Dave and Cathie

Margarita Anyone?

Or maybe some Mexican beer?

More beer and some Golden Tee

The Kurt's, Kohne's and Schultz's headed downtown to Xochimilcos.  We started off with some Margaritas and a much needed shot of 1800.  Great friends, great food and drinks accompanied with much needed laughter.  After we were stuffed ourselves we headed to the Rhino, which is a total dive bar in South Lyon that we always end up going to with the Kurts after one too many.  The boys played their usually golden tee games as the girls laughed and danced the night away.  Later Mark and Diana tore up the dance floor and somehow Cathie and I were able to get a dance out of Dave and Eli, which is usually just unheard of!



Here is an album that shows the rest of the pictures from the night....

Friends :)

Rebecca is having TWINS :)

She looks just beautiful :)

The Trouble Makers! We've been through it all together ~ and then some :)

Rianne, Jamie, Rebecca and I

Rebecca and I met in kindergarten. We saw each other through elementary, junior high, high school, first boyfriends, heartbreak, LOTS of trouble (I could write a book on all the trouble we got into), trips to Myrtle Beach, college, marriage, being a first homeowner, and babies (well...my babies). We always watched each others back and kept each other safe through it all. We were each others support system through thick and thin. Some of the best memories were just the many late night talks in her driveway about life. We know each others pasts like the back of our hands. Makes me sad that we don't see each other as much as we should but life is crazy and super busy and we will always be friends and will never forget all the great memories we share.

Finally!!! It's her time to be a MOMMY :) Rebecca and Don are having twin girls that are due on Christmas day. I don't know anyone who deserves this more. I am so happy for her and I can't wait to hold those beautiful baby girls!

Two Steps Away

As a family we watch 'So You Think You Can Dance'.  The girls and I love it, Eli enjoys it most of the time.  I have never missed an episode since it started, the girls got into it with me about 2 years ago.  There have been dances through the years that have hit certain spots and it has happened yet again.  This piece was about living with fear and how to move on.  This is something that hit really close to home for me, especially lately.

Patti Labelle co-wrote this song with these thoughts......

"We are two steps away from being kind people.
We are two steps away from respecting each other.
Two steps away from listening to each other.
Two steps away from loneliness and happiness."

Here is the entire song by Patti Labelle.



Here is the beautiful performance by Kathryn and Legacy, a vision and choreography from Stacey Tookey.

Attitude

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me, is more than facts.  It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.  It will make or break a company...a church...a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past.....we cannot change the fact that people will act a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude....I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.  And so it is with you....we are in charge of our attitudes." 

~Charles Swindoll

Mother Teresa's Prayer

"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.  
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.  
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.  
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.  be honest and sincere anyway.  
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.  
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.  
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.  
Give the best you have and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.  
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway."

~Mother Teresa

Makenna is on her way! at OneTrueMedia.com

Look what I found!!! It feels like it was so long ago. And yes, I cried all the way through it. Time goes by way too fast!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Volunteer work

Nursing school requires me to do 4 hours of volunteer work a semester in order to stay in the program.  The end of this semester is coming soon and I have not yet done my volunteer work.  There was no way I was able to squeeze any time in during my pediatric rotation, so I put it off.  I am running out of time and there is a volunteer opportunity to vaccinate for the H1N1 vaccine in Lansing.  I have my own issues about vaccinations and wish I researched them more when I was a young mother, especially when it came to Olivia.  I am not anti vaccine but children should be looked at as individuals and not be grouped as a whole (my own opinion).  So I started doing a little research on the vaccine and I'm really not that impressed.
Dr. Steve Harrison, old friend of mine, recommended a blog that I now read.  Dr. David Brownstein discusses holistic family medicine, as does Dr. Steve Harrison. These are Dr. Browstein's thoughts on the vaccine and here is the information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).  To each their own.  I don't know if I feel comfortable giving this new vaccine and/or getting it.  I do know that I am not vaccinating my children for it, especially Olivia.
Nursing school is changing my thoughts and interests and I am more aware of prevention and wellness.  I have learned that Americans focus more on treatment then prevention in general.  Eli and I are trying to make some 'healthier' changes in our household and I am trying to become more educated....in all my spare time. 
Any thoughts?

An addition to the Schultz household

Aside from Eli's kidney stone, we have a new addition to our family. He was a stray brought into my work at AEC on Saturday night. He reminded me of Bandit (aside from "the claw") and I couldn't help myself. I brought him home and let him grow on Eli (luckily Eli is highly medicated).


I named him after my favorite FBI agent from my favorite t.v. show Bones. So his name is "BOOTH" but Makenna calls him "BOOF". He loves the girls and the girls love him. The other animals in the household are tolerating him except for Bink. Bink is the jealous type.
He has been the much needed comic relief for this family this past week. Kittens are so fun :)

What a day!

May 5th is a day that has been etched in my life for the past 11 years. Eleven years ago today, I graduated as a LVT (Licensed Veterinary Technician) with an Associates Degree in Applied Science and sadly it was also the due date of the baby that Eli and I lost. It was a day that I have always had mixed emotions about. A day that made me smile and made me cry, every year since then. On graduation day I was surrounded by great friends, my awesome sister, my husband and my wonderful parents! That night Eli and I partied until the sun came up. It is a day in my life that will always be with me and will never be forgotten.
TODAY, MAY 5th 2009, 11 years later....still young, yet a little wiser! A wife of over 11 years, mother of 3 beautiful little girls, working and going to school full time. TODAY, I passed my final exam with a 90%! I am now a LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse). In one short year, I will be an RN! :)
So it is a great day today! A milestone that I can add to my May 5th with the greatest SMILE :)! Proof of how great my life truly is and how to take the good with the bad sometimes. Today, I am reminded that Eli has been there with me every step of the way from the very beginning to this very moment. He has held my hand through ALL of this. He has been there to laugh with me and has been there to wipe away my tears!! Through good times and bad! So I DID IT, but not alone, with my partner in crime and also all the people I love the most!

Words to live by

"Resolving a conflict doesn't mean you must think or feel exactly the same. It means accepting and respecting inevitable differences in opinions and priorities."

~Bonnie Eaker Weil PhD

Just what I needed today!

I've been having a tough time with school, motherhood, being a wife, and working. I have been questioning what I am doing and if it is really worth all that I am missing out on. Our children, our marriage, the time with the people who I love the most. Everything in our household lately revolves around my school and work schedule. I feel selfish and needy. My house is falling apart, the laundry is piled up high. My google calender is so filled that all the events don't fit on some days. Makenna has been sick. I have made some mistakes at school. Olivia was stood up by the tooth fairy for the third time. I have cried more in the past two weeks than I have in the past two years.
It bothers me that I am not with my girls the way they deserve. Eli and I are just passing in the morning and night. We were having one of the few family dinners the other night and Eli and the girls were talking and joking. They were giggling together and cracking jokes and I felt like an outsider looking in. That feeling that you just don't belong. Lately Eli get's the girls, he is their comic relief. He is keeping this family grounded. They look to him, which makes me angry and it shouldn't. Angry probably isn't the best word, maybe jealous would fit better.
Driving home from picking my girls up from my Mom's today a song came on from the CD that Eli had made for me to listen to on my constant, endless drives to Lansing. It was a CD filled with songs that reminded him of "us". Erika, Olivia, Makenna and I all starting singing a song together. I miss that, I miss those moments. The connection moments. The silly simple moments. When we arrived home, Kenna and I took a 4 hour nap. I love snuggling with my girls. Makenna is the best snuggler, she gets as close as she can without suffocating you. When Kenna and I woke up, I walked downstairs to find Eli sitting at the kitchen table doing homework with Erika and Olivia. I opened my email to see if my test grade was posted and this is what was there from Eli....

Our love is the long lasting kind;
We’ve been together quite awhile.
I love you for so many things,
Your voice, your touch, your kiss, your smile. You accept me as I am;
I can relax and just be me.
Even when my quirks come out,
You think they’re cute; you let me be. With you, there’s nothing to resist;
You’re irresistible to me.
I’m drawn to you in total trust;
I give myself to you willingly. Your sweet devotion never fails;
You view me with a patient heart.
You love me, dear, no matter what.
You’ve been that way right from the start. Those are just a few reasons why
I’ll always love you like I do.
We’ll have a lifetime full of love,
And it will happen because of you.

MY GRACE FROM GOD!

Stressed...Who me?

"We have overstretched our personal boundaries and forgotten that true happiness comes from living an authentic life fueled with a sense of purpose and balance."

Dr. Kathleen Hall

Stress Institute Homepage

How to reduce stress according to Dr. Kathleen Hall

NURS 165

I have accomplished yet another goal. NURS165 - Maternity. These are the people I have been spending the last 8 weeks with. My home away from home. The ones I have experienced some amazing, emotional and speechless moments with. Because of certain laws, I cannot discuss patients on my blog but I can tell you that I witnessed two beautiful babies be brought into this world, one vaginally and one by cesarean. Personally having had both a cesarean and 2 natural births, I can honestly say that it is completely different being on the opposite end.
I have learned more about who I am as a person and I learned some strengths and some weaknesses that are part of my personality. I have learned that labor and delivery is not my thing, even though it was completely life altering. I was disappointed when I had that feeling "this is not for me" but was also grateful that it helped me realize that I really need to be caught up in busyness and chaos. I need the adrenaline and those fast decision moments. In maternity there seemed to be more sitting around, looking at monitors, waiting for a baby to be born, kind of atmosphere. I need the constant go go go. It was good to cross something off my list of possibilities, but sad because it was something I thought I would be really passionate about.
I spent many moments with some amazing nurses! Nurses that have truly inspired me and I will take their wisdom with me! There was a specific 8 hours shift, with one nurse in particular, where I felt that I had learned more from her than from 3 text books and 8 weeks of lecture.
I definitely have a spot in my heart for all the babies I was blessed to spend time with. My favorite moments during this rotation was in the nursery with the lights dim, music on, rocking in the rocking chair with them. Not knowing what life has in store for them. What they may or may not experience. Knowing that the good, bad and ugly will soon enter their lives once they leave that hospital. Hopefully later more than sooner. I will miss the nursery....I will miss the babies.
I have a passion for newborns and for children. I loved talking to the siblings about their new brother or sister and see the expressions on their faces. PRICELESS :) Oh, to be innocent and see the world at such a different level before experiences, family, friends and judgments dramatically alter who they become. To be a part of that purity...WOW!
I don't know where I will end up in the great big world of nursing. I know I have choices, I just hope I make the right ones.
So I am on spring break. Make up time with my family and friends. A little breather. A step back to regroup and remind myself why I am putting myself and my family through this. God I hope I am doing the right thing!

Christmas Break

I made it through my first semester of nursing school and yes so did Eli. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Looking back on the last 3 1/2 months is pretty surreal. I am proud of our accomplishments. I say our, because together we worked hard as a family to make this work.
I have learned to let go of some of my perfectionism's, which was probably the most difficult for me. I have made many mistakes and I have had some pretty awesome "you rock" moments. My sneak peak of nursing has left me completely intrigued. I don't ever want to forget or loose sight of what type of patient advocate I will be. If I ever loose sight of that, I do hope that someone hits me and hits me hard.

I met and worked side by side with some great nurses who have inspired me and I have worked with some tough ones. I prefer to focus on the great moments. Life will always bring out the good, bad and the ugly.

There were some moments during this semester that I thought to myself "what the hell am I doing here, and where is the exit". It scared me to think that I worked this hard for something I wasn't completely sure I really wanted. I don't know where I will end up but I do know now that I am where I need to be. There were moments of weakness, utter frustration, failure, and fear. Along with those came moments of accomplishment, relief, and happiness. The best feeling was knowing I made a difference in my patients life. That was the most overwhelming feeling of all! Everyone has a story and being trusted to listen to or be a part of that story is a gift. To be a part of someones life when they are vulnerable and hurting is a gift. To be able to relieve another human being of fear or illness for a moment and to see them smile was my biggest accomplishment. It didn't happen every time with every patient, but when it did, it was one of the most overwhelming feelings I have ever experienced.

I am looking forward to next semester. The first half my clinicals will be maternity and the second half I will be on the med-surg floor, both at Ingham Hospital. After next semester I will be a LPN. Then I can work as an LPN while I finish up the final 2 semesters and become a proud RN.
All I know for sure is that I am on Christmas Break. I can breathe again for a couple weeks and enjoy some down time. This family could use a little rest and relaxation, a little snuggle time will be nice too!

Adjusting

I started nursing school two weeks ago. It has been a major change and slightly overwhelming. One of the biggest things I have learned is that you cannot be shy in this program, nor be afraid of touching and getting up close and personal with complete strangers. You also can't be afraid to make a complete fool of yourself in front the people you will be spending the next 2 years with. The amount of touching and talking you do with you classmates is crazy. I have gotten to know most of them faster then I cared too. In all of our labs we practice on each other. Except for the enema lab, whew, that would have been bad. After the first couple of labs, there's a realization that we are all scared shitless and we are all in it together. Coming together with one thing in common and one purpose.
There is a total of 64 students in my class, almost all of them with spouses and little ones at home and a good majority of them are single mothers. Talking with some of them just amazes me. The courage and strength that some of them have completely inspires me. I could not imagine not having Eli to support me and encourage me.
Most of the instructors are so great, not all but most. They don't leave out any details that's for sure. My first test is on Monday. In one month I will be doing clinicals in the nursing home and in acute care in the hospital, doing things on people that I feel completely under qualified for. Live and learn I guess.
I had my 3rd pain injection last Friday, this has probably been the most effective one. I was in less pain after ward, but it probably helped that I did a whole lot of nothing for two days. I hopefully only have one more month of physical therapy. Frank told me that this next month will be the most important and I have to work really hard in order to get most of my restrictions lifted. I am growing tired of pt to be honest, enough is enough. I am so ready to move on with my life and be pain free. The evenings are the worst, especially after sitting through lecture and all the walking I've been doing.

Together at last

Erika and Olivia are finally at the same school. Erika being a big 3rd grader and Olivia is in 1st. It amazes me everyday that they are 2 years apart, yet wear the same size clothes and shoes.

This was the first year that I wasn't there for their first day of school. It was hard for me, but they both woke up extra early so we could spend the morning together. I got to give them lots of hugs and kisses and eat breakfast with them. Luckily they had Nana to take them for me and took pictures for me. Erika and Olivia are so understanding and "grown up". They are as proud of me as I am of them. For them to understand what I am doing and why I am doing it makes me so proud (and less guilty).

Olivia was really nervous! This is her "OH CRAP" look.
"This isn't like kindergarten"

After some reassurance!
She was also excited that her BFF from kindergarten is in her class :-)!

Erika's a pro. She loves school!

Makenna is in Preschool

Eating breakfast at 6:15 AM. She was a little happier and awake then I was.

So sad, this is the only picture I could get of her on her first day, she started to get a little sad about me leaving, so I tried to leave before she had a chance to have her melt down. Her meltdown happened on her third day when they had to rip her out of my arms and I could hear her screaming from down the hall, "MOMMY DON'T LEAVE ME". I wanted to turn around and pick her up and love her.

Beside the one meltdown she is adjusting well, and yes so is Mom. I miss her like crazy though! She loves "her friends" and the "choo choo train". They even have been able to get her to take a nap everyday.