Just what I needed today!

I've been having a tough time with school, motherhood, being a wife, and working. I have been questioning what I am doing and if it is really worth all that I am missing out on. Our children, our marriage, the time with the people who I love the most. Everything in our household lately revolves around my school and work schedule. I feel selfish and needy. My house is falling apart, the laundry is piled up high. My google calender is so filled that all the events don't fit on some days. Makenna has been sick. I have made some mistakes at school. Olivia was stood up by the tooth fairy for the third time. I have cried more in the past two weeks than I have in the past two years.
It bothers me that I am not with my girls the way they deserve. Eli and I are just passing in the morning and night. We were having one of the few family dinners the other night and Eli and the girls were talking and joking. They were giggling together and cracking jokes and I felt like an outsider looking in. That feeling that you just don't belong. Lately Eli get's the girls, he is their comic relief. He is keeping this family grounded. They look to him, which makes me angry and it shouldn't. Angry probably isn't the best word, maybe jealous would fit better.
Driving home from picking my girls up from my Mom's today a song came on from the CD that Eli had made for me to listen to on my constant, endless drives to Lansing. It was a CD filled with songs that reminded him of "us". Erika, Olivia, Makenna and I all starting singing a song together. I miss that, I miss those moments. The connection moments. The silly simple moments. When we arrived home, Kenna and I took a 4 hour nap. I love snuggling with my girls. Makenna is the best snuggler, she gets as close as she can without suffocating you. When Kenna and I woke up, I walked downstairs to find Eli sitting at the kitchen table doing homework with Erika and Olivia. I opened my email to see if my test grade was posted and this is what was there from Eli....

Our love is the long lasting kind;
We’ve been together quite awhile.
I love you for so many things,
Your voice, your touch, your kiss, your smile. You accept me as I am;
I can relax and just be me.
Even when my quirks come out,
You think they’re cute; you let me be. With you, there’s nothing to resist;
You’re irresistible to me.
I’m drawn to you in total trust;
I give myself to you willingly. Your sweet devotion never fails;
You view me with a patient heart.
You love me, dear, no matter what.
You’ve been that way right from the start. Those are just a few reasons why
I’ll always love you like I do.
We’ll have a lifetime full of love,
And it will happen because of you.

MY GRACE FROM GOD!