Attitude

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me, is more than facts.  It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.  It will make or break a company...a church...a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past.....we cannot change the fact that people will act a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude....I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.  And so it is with you....we are in charge of our attitudes." 

~Charles Swindoll

Mother Teresa's Prayer

"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.  
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.  
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.  
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.  be honest and sincere anyway.  
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.  
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.  
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.  
Give the best you have and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.  
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway."

~Mother Teresa

Makenna is on her way! at OneTrueMedia.com

Look what I found!!! It feels like it was so long ago. And yes, I cried all the way through it. Time goes by way too fast!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Volunteer work

Nursing school requires me to do 4 hours of volunteer work a semester in order to stay in the program.  The end of this semester is coming soon and I have not yet done my volunteer work.  There was no way I was able to squeeze any time in during my pediatric rotation, so I put it off.  I am running out of time and there is a volunteer opportunity to vaccinate for the H1N1 vaccine in Lansing.  I have my own issues about vaccinations and wish I researched them more when I was a young mother, especially when it came to Olivia.  I am not anti vaccine but children should be looked at as individuals and not be grouped as a whole (my own opinion).  So I started doing a little research on the vaccine and I'm really not that impressed.
Dr. Steve Harrison, old friend of mine, recommended a blog that I now read.  Dr. David Brownstein discusses holistic family medicine, as does Dr. Steve Harrison. These are Dr. Browstein's thoughts on the vaccine and here is the information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).  To each their own.  I don't know if I feel comfortable giving this new vaccine and/or getting it.  I do know that I am not vaccinating my children for it, especially Olivia.
Nursing school is changing my thoughts and interests and I am more aware of prevention and wellness.  I have learned that Americans focus more on treatment then prevention in general.  Eli and I are trying to make some 'healthier' changes in our household and I am trying to become more educated....in all my spare time. 
Any thoughts?

An addition to the Schultz household

Aside from Eli's kidney stone, we have a new addition to our family. He was a stray brought into my work at AEC on Saturday night. He reminded me of Bandit (aside from "the claw") and I couldn't help myself. I brought him home and let him grow on Eli (luckily Eli is highly medicated).


I named him after my favorite FBI agent from my favorite t.v. show Bones. So his name is "BOOTH" but Makenna calls him "BOOF". He loves the girls and the girls love him. The other animals in the household are tolerating him except for Bink. Bink is the jealous type.
He has been the much needed comic relief for this family this past week. Kittens are so fun :)

What a day!

May 5th is a day that has been etched in my life for the past 11 years. Eleven years ago today, I graduated as a LVT (Licensed Veterinary Technician) with an Associates Degree in Applied Science and sadly it was also the due date of the baby that Eli and I lost. It was a day that I have always had mixed emotions about. A day that made me smile and made me cry, every year since then. On graduation day I was surrounded by great friends, my awesome sister, my husband and my wonderful parents! That night Eli and I partied until the sun came up. It is a day in my life that will always be with me and will never be forgotten.
TODAY, MAY 5th 2009, 11 years later....still young, yet a little wiser! A wife of over 11 years, mother of 3 beautiful little girls, working and going to school full time. TODAY, I passed my final exam with a 90%! I am now a LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse). In one short year, I will be an RN! :)
So it is a great day today! A milestone that I can add to my May 5th with the greatest SMILE :)! Proof of how great my life truly is and how to take the good with the bad sometimes. Today, I am reminded that Eli has been there with me every step of the way from the very beginning to this very moment. He has held my hand through ALL of this. He has been there to laugh with me and has been there to wipe away my tears!! Through good times and bad! So I DID IT, but not alone, with my partner in crime and also all the people I love the most!

NIIIIICE!

LOVE THIS!!!! Makes my day that much easier.

Just don't try it on your dog like Dave did.

Words to live by

"Resolving a conflict doesn't mean you must think or feel exactly the same. It means accepting and respecting inevitable differences in opinions and priorities."

~Bonnie Eaker Weil PhD

Just what I needed today!

I've been having a tough time with school, motherhood, being a wife, and working. I have been questioning what I am doing and if it is really worth all that I am missing out on. Our children, our marriage, the time with the people who I love the most. Everything in our household lately revolves around my school and work schedule. I feel selfish and needy. My house is falling apart, the laundry is piled up high. My google calender is so filled that all the events don't fit on some days. Makenna has been sick. I have made some mistakes at school. Olivia was stood up by the tooth fairy for the third time. I have cried more in the past two weeks than I have in the past two years.
It bothers me that I am not with my girls the way they deserve. Eli and I are just passing in the morning and night. We were having one of the few family dinners the other night and Eli and the girls were talking and joking. They were giggling together and cracking jokes and I felt like an outsider looking in. That feeling that you just don't belong. Lately Eli get's the girls, he is their comic relief. He is keeping this family grounded. They look to him, which makes me angry and it shouldn't. Angry probably isn't the best word, maybe jealous would fit better.
Driving home from picking my girls up from my Mom's today a song came on from the CD that Eli had made for me to listen to on my constant, endless drives to Lansing. It was a CD filled with songs that reminded him of "us". Erika, Olivia, Makenna and I all starting singing a song together. I miss that, I miss those moments. The connection moments. The silly simple moments. When we arrived home, Kenna and I took a 4 hour nap. I love snuggling with my girls. Makenna is the best snuggler, she gets as close as she can without suffocating you. When Kenna and I woke up, I walked downstairs to find Eli sitting at the kitchen table doing homework with Erika and Olivia. I opened my email to see if my test grade was posted and this is what was there from Eli....

Our love is the long lasting kind;
We’ve been together quite awhile.
I love you for so many things,
Your voice, your touch, your kiss, your smile. You accept me as I am;
I can relax and just be me.
Even when my quirks come out,
You think they’re cute; you let me be. With you, there’s nothing to resist;
You’re irresistible to me.
I’m drawn to you in total trust;
I give myself to you willingly. Your sweet devotion never fails;
You view me with a patient heart.
You love me, dear, no matter what.
You’ve been that way right from the start. Those are just a few reasons why
I’ll always love you like I do.
We’ll have a lifetime full of love,
And it will happen because of you.

MY GRACE FROM GOD!

Stressed...Who me?

"We have overstretched our personal boundaries and forgotten that true happiness comes from living an authentic life fueled with a sense of purpose and balance."

Dr. Kathleen Hall

Stress Institute Homepage

How to reduce stress according to Dr. Kathleen Hall

NURS 165

I have accomplished yet another goal. NURS165 - Maternity. These are the people I have been spending the last 8 weeks with. My home away from home. The ones I have experienced some amazing, emotional and speechless moments with. Because of certain laws, I cannot discuss patients on my blog but I can tell you that I witnessed two beautiful babies be brought into this world, one vaginally and one by cesarean. Personally having had both a cesarean and 2 natural births, I can honestly say that it is completely different being on the opposite end.
I have learned more about who I am as a person and I learned some strengths and some weaknesses that are part of my personality. I have learned that labor and delivery is not my thing, even though it was completely life altering. I was disappointed when I had that feeling "this is not for me" but was also grateful that it helped me realize that I really need to be caught up in busyness and chaos. I need the adrenaline and those fast decision moments. In maternity there seemed to be more sitting around, looking at monitors, waiting for a baby to be born, kind of atmosphere. I need the constant go go go. It was good to cross something off my list of possibilities, but sad because it was something I thought I would be really passionate about.
I spent many moments with some amazing nurses! Nurses that have truly inspired me and I will take their wisdom with me! There was a specific 8 hours shift, with one nurse in particular, where I felt that I had learned more from her than from 3 text books and 8 weeks of lecture.
I definitely have a spot in my heart for all the babies I was blessed to spend time with. My favorite moments during this rotation was in the nursery with the lights dim, music on, rocking in the rocking chair with them. Not knowing what life has in store for them. What they may or may not experience. Knowing that the good, bad and ugly will soon enter their lives once they leave that hospital. Hopefully later more than sooner. I will miss the nursery....I will miss the babies.
I have a passion for newborns and for children. I loved talking to the siblings about their new brother or sister and see the expressions on their faces. PRICELESS :) Oh, to be innocent and see the world at such a different level before experiences, family, friends and judgments dramatically alter who they become. To be a part of that purity...WOW!
I don't know where I will end up in the great big world of nursing. I know I have choices, I just hope I make the right ones.
So I am on spring break. Make up time with my family and friends. A little breather. A step back to regroup and remind myself why I am putting myself and my family through this. God I hope I am doing the right thing!

Christmas Break

I made it through my first semester of nursing school and yes so did Eli. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Looking back on the last 3 1/2 months is pretty surreal. I am proud of our accomplishments. I say our, because together we worked hard as a family to make this work.
I have learned to let go of some of my perfectionism's, which was probably the most difficult for me. I have made many mistakes and I have had some pretty awesome "you rock" moments. My sneak peak of nursing has left me completely intrigued. I don't ever want to forget or loose sight of what type of patient advocate I will be. If I ever loose sight of that, I do hope that someone hits me and hits me hard.

I met and worked side by side with some great nurses who have inspired me and I have worked with some tough ones. I prefer to focus on the great moments. Life will always bring out the good, bad and the ugly.

There were some moments during this semester that I thought to myself "what the hell am I doing here, and where is the exit". It scared me to think that I worked this hard for something I wasn't completely sure I really wanted. I don't know where I will end up but I do know now that I am where I need to be. There were moments of weakness, utter frustration, failure, and fear. Along with those came moments of accomplishment, relief, and happiness. The best feeling was knowing I made a difference in my patients life. That was the most overwhelming feeling of all! Everyone has a story and being trusted to listen to or be a part of that story is a gift. To be a part of someones life when they are vulnerable and hurting is a gift. To be able to relieve another human being of fear or illness for a moment and to see them smile was my biggest accomplishment. It didn't happen every time with every patient, but when it did, it was one of the most overwhelming feelings I have ever experienced.

I am looking forward to next semester. The first half my clinicals will be maternity and the second half I will be on the med-surg floor, both at Ingham Hospital. After next semester I will be a LPN. Then I can work as an LPN while I finish up the final 2 semesters and become a proud RN.
All I know for sure is that I am on Christmas Break. I can breathe again for a couple weeks and enjoy some down time. This family could use a little rest and relaxation, a little snuggle time will be nice too!

Adjusting

I started nursing school two weeks ago. It has been a major change and slightly overwhelming. One of the biggest things I have learned is that you cannot be shy in this program, nor be afraid of touching and getting up close and personal with complete strangers. You also can't be afraid to make a complete fool of yourself in front the people you will be spending the next 2 years with. The amount of touching and talking you do with you classmates is crazy. I have gotten to know most of them faster then I cared too. In all of our labs we practice on each other. Except for the enema lab, whew, that would have been bad. After the first couple of labs, there's a realization that we are all scared shitless and we are all in it together. Coming together with one thing in common and one purpose.
There is a total of 64 students in my class, almost all of them with spouses and little ones at home and a good majority of them are single mothers. Talking with some of them just amazes me. The courage and strength that some of them have completely inspires me. I could not imagine not having Eli to support me and encourage me.
Most of the instructors are so great, not all but most. They don't leave out any details that's for sure. My first test is on Monday. In one month I will be doing clinicals in the nursing home and in acute care in the hospital, doing things on people that I feel completely under qualified for. Live and learn I guess.
I had my 3rd pain injection last Friday, this has probably been the most effective one. I was in less pain after ward, but it probably helped that I did a whole lot of nothing for two days. I hopefully only have one more month of physical therapy. Frank told me that this next month will be the most important and I have to work really hard in order to get most of my restrictions lifted. I am growing tired of pt to be honest, enough is enough. I am so ready to move on with my life and be pain free. The evenings are the worst, especially after sitting through lecture and all the walking I've been doing.

Together at last

Erika and Olivia are finally at the same school. Erika being a big 3rd grader and Olivia is in 1st. It amazes me everyday that they are 2 years apart, yet wear the same size clothes and shoes.

This was the first year that I wasn't there for their first day of school. It was hard for me, but they both woke up extra early so we could spend the morning together. I got to give them lots of hugs and kisses and eat breakfast with them. Luckily they had Nana to take them for me and took pictures for me. Erika and Olivia are so understanding and "grown up". They are as proud of me as I am of them. For them to understand what I am doing and why I am doing it makes me so proud (and less guilty).

Olivia was really nervous! This is her "OH CRAP" look.
"This isn't like kindergarten"

After some reassurance!
She was also excited that her BFF from kindergarten is in her class :-)!

Erika's a pro. She loves school!

Makenna is in Preschool

Eating breakfast at 6:15 AM. She was a little happier and awake then I was.

So sad, this is the only picture I could get of her on her first day, she started to get a little sad about me leaving, so I tried to leave before she had a chance to have her melt down. Her meltdown happened on her third day when they had to rip her out of my arms and I could hear her screaming from down the hall, "MOMMY DON'T LEAVE ME". I wanted to turn around and pick her up and love her.

Beside the one meltdown she is adjusting well, and yes so is Mom. I miss her like crazy though! She loves "her friends" and the "choo choo train". They even have been able to get her to take a nap everyday.

Girls Being Girls

"Let me in Mumma, they gettin me!"

"Get her Erika" (you can see Makenna running for her life through the deck posts)

"Ya I did it and Daddy had to take the hose from me cuz I wasn't playing fair."

4 Days and Counting

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.
-King Whitney Jr.

Starting to get a little nervous and I have huge butterflies in my stomach thinking about the fact that in 4 days I will officially be a nursing student. I think it finally hit me this morning. I was sitting on my couch enjoying my coffee, watching Makenna play and talking with Eli. I started thinking to myself....this will be the last Sunday morning until December that I will be homework free. There are so many emotions that I am feeling at this moment, not any more then the other. My life as I know it is about to change. Some people hate change, me....not so much. I am about to embrace this change with wide open arms.
I have been praying and hoping for this experience for as long as I can remember. It's in front of me and I'm about to touch it. I can't believe how close I am to it. I am so grateful for this opportunity. It almost feels too good to be true. I can't promise that I will have this attitude half way through the semester, but going into it excited doesn't hurt.

My Badge of Honor

Erika and I headed out to Lansing today. I showed her all around campus and showed her which building most of my lectures and labs will be at. I had to get my student nurse badge, pick up my supplemental packets, nursing equipment, and gait belt. I also took her to the bookstore. I wanted to compare prices and see if there were any used books and if they were cheaper then half.com, which NO they weren't.

Erika asked me, "Mommy I thought you said I had to finish college before I could get married. Why didn't you?"

I told her, "I did honey, I finished once before, but a woman can always change her mind and do something different."

All the way home she told me all the different things she wanted to be and do when she grows up. Everything from an illustrator, a writer, a chef, and a police officer.....and all her reasons why. We had great conversations about how she was as a baby and how much she has grown through the years. I told her how very proud of her I was. She impressed me today and I just know that she will be something great, no matter what it is that she chooses.

Erika loved it, walked around wide eyed with a big smile on her face. She did say that she was happy to still be in elementary school because she's not ready to walk around that much yet. We had a great day together and I took her to lunch before we picked up Olivia and Makenna from my Moms.

Back Update

Warning: This is me complaining, if you don't want to read it.....don't.

So I had my second cortisone injection last Friday. I did all that I could to keep myself going and keep my mind off it. The family hung with the Kurt's Friday night, Saturday with the Meador's, and on Sunday we hung out at the Jeffrey's cottage. The weekend went fast and I was surrounding by the people I love and that's what I needed to keep me going and keep me side tracked. Watching my girls have fun in the water was my highlight for the weekend. Knowing they had a great weekend made me smile. I feel like I have held them back from so much this summer.

Monday morning I was limping a little, no biggie, in my opinion. More pain down my leg that I prefer, but doable. I saw Dr. Carbajo in the morning, she read the recommendation from my pt and we had another talk. She is concerned about getting me through nursing school. She also brought up the surgery word. She said we will talk more about it after my 3rd injection. Something I was trying to avoid at all costs. If these injections don't work, there may not be much more to do other then surgery or I can just continue with medication and keeping up exercises but she said we may be looking at a chronic pain type thing. Surgery is not an option for me at this point, again, this is my own opinion. She said I may want to be careful about my field choices once I am a nurse. I will probably have my limitations and again talked to me about "life altering event" blah, blah. Still no work, and she said she'll see me in a month. She did say that I was doing my best and I am a compliant patient, and reminded me of how far I've come, but it didn't make me feel much better. My afternoon was filled with frustration and tears. My sister and Eli were blessed to listen to it all and then some.

I arrived at pt excited and optimistic because I was supposed to be starting a change and was going to be able to work with Franks wife on pilates strengthening. Arrived there ready to go, decided I would focus on this being the highlight for my day. Started on the tread mill for warm up, Frank and Christie, of coarse, took me off 1 minute into it. The two of them assessed me together in a room, look at my injection sites and decided together that today was not a good day to start. They did a little talking about me, respecting that I was in the room, mostly good and also talked directly to me about their concerns. Frank was telling her how much I have improved and what he thought I was capable of. Christie put her hand on me, smiled and said that Frank has kept her updated and together they have been coming up with a plan for me and we will try and start Wednesday, try not to be frustrated, you just need to rest. Frank did some soft tissue therapy to loosen up some of the inflammation. So for two hours I slept, laid on heat, traction, stretching exercises, massage and Frank let me do one exercise.

This is probably my own fault and I should have just relaxed this weekend but I am so sick of just sitting around watching the world go by. It's not like I was running around lifting things. At most I picked up Makenna when she had her finger incident. I may have been on my feet more then I should have, but honestly sitting for me sucks and is uncomfortable for me right now. I am bored, restless, and irritated.

Beside all of this that is going on, the cortisone injections has messed up my girly hormones and am also now on another medication to regulate what is going on, and it's not working. Which could be another reason why I am crying for every stupid thing and about to buy stock in always. If it's not the cortisone that is causing these problems, my ablation isn't working anymore and I may need to have a hysterectomy, among a few other things that is going on that I will not go into details about.

I now am under the care of a total of 2 physical therapists and 3 doctors. I am worn out and am I growing tired of everyones opinion on what I should or shouldn't do. I am also tired of people outside of the medical profession telling me their opinion on what worked for someone they know. Let me be, I'm a big girl, I am not ignorant nor stupid and I will figure out what to do under the care of the proper professional opinions and what I feel is best for me and my family.

I am going to try and enjoy my last 3 weeks of summer with my girls before nursing school starts. My first day of lecture is August 21st. I am hoping that I will be able to hold my own by the end of September when I get assigned to a nursing home. Also I need to get back to work so I can afford Makenna's daycare.

If I am in a bad mood or don't feel like talking about it, please don't take it personally. If anyone truly knows me, they know I put other people's feeling before my own. I'm sorry for being a little selfish at this moment right now. This is just where I am right now and just know I am trying to work out my attitude on my own. If you think you're tired of me, just imagine how I feel about myself.

I am trying to embrace all the great things in my life and focus on that, because I do have such great things in my life. My family, my children and the memories of our vacation and all the great experiences the girls have had this summer that I have been able to witness first hand. The fact that I have been able to spend more time with Eli then I ever have before. I have never been able to be a stay at home mom. So this is new to me. Being at work is much easier for me then being at home. I just wish I could be the great mom I know I could be if I had full function of my entire body. I feel that my children got me this summer by default and that they have somehow missed out on things.

Meadors new boat

Diane and Jeff's new boat.

Kenna carrying her noodle

Olivia is all smiles on the lake

The boys played some volleyball at the sandbar with some other Chemung regulars.

The Fab 5 enjoying the boat ride home

CHEEEESE, or should I say potato chips, gone in 60 seconds

Cheers

Jeff actually didn't catch this

We had a short afternoon on Lake Chemung today. We didn't get out there until I could get my back into it. We had just enough time for the kids to blow off some pent up energy. Lauren and Erika swam the entire time. The dare devils, Ryan and Olivia went tubing. Kenna likes to act like a mermaid and boat rides when Uncle Jeff goes "SUPER FAST". We had to cut the day short because Diane had to go to work :(.

Kenna Benna

Not sure what she was doing here.....

Makenna swimming with her big cousin Ryan today at Lake Chemung

Happy Kenna

This is Kenna after she had her finger slammed in the front door tonight, right where the hinges are, ouch! Poor Ryan felt so bad, he kept kissing her saying "I sorry Kenna, I sorry". I thought he was going to cry. After almost 2 hours of screaming, a double dose of Motrin and lots of love, she finally fell asleep watching the little mermaid on my laptop and playing with her Barney laptop. She managed to sleep 2 hours with her hand wrapped in ice. She is awake again now watching the good night show. I think she'll live. She just keeps saying "my finger, my finger". It's double in size and has a nice cut on the underside of it. She's not using it, but hopefully it will be better tomorrow! Thank God it's still attached and there wasn't a trip to the ER, she has enough accidents on her record. It's amazing how different it is with your 3rd child.

After me screaming "ELI AHHHH, Kenna's finger, Kenna's finger", (we all now how loud I can be, I think you get the point), it looked bad when I first got it out of the door. Eli came running and there are 3 strips of lawn mowed in the front yard and the lawn mower is still sitting in the same spot. It was too dark to finish after all was said and done, so Jeff and Eli started on a project. Kenna slept long enough for me to feed Lauren, Ryan, Erika, Olivia, Jeff, and Eli.

Eli and Jeff are installing a ceiling fan in our bedroom right now. Something long overdue and one of great buys we used with the $1000 home depot gift card Eli won at golf. Our bedroom is always the hottest in the summer and the coldest in the winter. I'm just happy that I don't have to listen to the loud fan we had on our dresser pointed directly at our bed. It's the little things.

This isn't funny anymore

Not that it ever was funny, I am so done, not literally of coarse. I am tired of doctors appointments, physical therapy appointments, being stuck with genormous needles, not being able to work, not being able to pick up Makenna and throw her in the air, not being able to carry my girls to bed, falling back into the debt hole we were starting to creep out of, not having my independence!
I am so sick of the unknown. The unknown of when I will be able to wake up in the morning and not feel pain. When I can go back to work. When I can carry laundry upstairs without the fear of reinjuring myself. To not have to take pain medication everyday. To not cringe every time someone asks how I feel because I am so sick of talking about it. I feel like S#!^, is what I want to say. If I say how I really feel, I feel like a big pussy. It is defining me, controlling me and it is starting to become who I am and my frustration is trickling down to my children and to Eli.
I am pissed off that it says that I have a 10lb lifting restriction on my nursing school health form that I have to turn in. I am 32 years old and this is bull crap. I go to physical therapy 3 days a week for 2 hours at a time and I have never missed an appointment, not even one! I work out with old people, not Brad Jeffrey old, I am talking old people. I work my butt off. There are days that I focus on one thing in the room and just keep saying "you can do it, your that much closer". Every time I just want to give up pt, I suck it up and push back the tears, when I just want to stomp my foot sometimes and say, enough already, I do a few more, I push a little harder. The other day there was a lady there in her 80's that had heavier weights on her push down and pull downs then I did. I felt like a little kid. Why does she get more than me? No fair. I actually argued with the technician. He said, sorry Mrs. Schultz, Frank says no. STOP CALLING ME MRS. SCHULTZ, my name is Dana. What is that all about, really....are you joking? I love my physical therapist and he has done wonders and I know things could be worse and this isn't an easy fix. I've been told this over and over. Frank really is pushing me and I am truly blessed to have been put in such great hands. I am happy that I have that sore feeling the next day because I feel like I am getting somewhere. I am happy that I am doing actual strenuous physical exercises, because I know I am becoming capable. Now along with the back and leg pain I have muscle pain and some muscle spasms. You know, the ones that wake you up in the middle of the night, those charlie horse leg pains. It sucks but it makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere. Eli says I don't drink enough water. I am trying to call it the good pain.
The pain injections are starting to wear off I think. I am back on taking pain medication on a regular basis. I really wanted to avoid having more injections because I thought the first experience was so painful, I didn't want to go through it again. I thought I would be fine, I really did.
My internist told me last week that this was a life changing event. I just wanted to fall over. "What do you mean?" Maybe I just never realized it because it was never said to me like that in black and white. I just thought when I felt better, I would be better, end of story.....fixed. Maybe I was too hopeful or completely naive. She told me that this can and probably will happen again and I will always have to be careful. In the simplest of words, according to Dr. Carbajo and Dr. Cueto, physical therapy and exercise is what is going to keep me out of the surgery room and that it will never be "fixed". WHAT? Was she talking to me? I actually thought maybe she was thinking of a different patient. I felt deceived, like someone took something from me. I can be right back to where I was in the beginning with something as simple as turning the wrong way? I don't want to go through that ever again. Lets just hope not for a while, or at least until I finish school and pay off my student loans.
I have to keep up with my exercises and it will never be over. I don't know where I am going to find the drive or the time to do all these exercises when pt is over, in between being a Mom, a wife, a student, and work. I know it's in me, but honestly I can see myself saying, I'll do it tomorrow. I need this strength, I want this strength, but the truth is, I need someone behind me pushing me sometimes.
I was told by a friend last week that maybe I should think about getting a desk job. I was also told by another friend that maybe God is trying to point me in a different direction. Honestly I felt overwhelmingly pissed off. Not after what I have gone through. Not after all that I worked for and suffered through and gave up. I am not a quitter. Nursing was all I ever wanted to do. I have waited long enough. I have done my time. I have worked too hard, I earned it! God is not pointing me in a different direction, that can't be, I absolutely refuse to believe that. He better just be showing me how strong I am, at least I hope that's what he's doing.
I have worked my ass off and nursing is one of my unfinished goals. I am not a pencil pusher. That's not my thing. I can't just sit there, I want to be part of the action. I want to help people, I want to be able to heal people. I want to be able to bring joy and a sense of calmness to someone that is hurting. I want to be there for people who feel as frustrated as I do right now and hold their hand and walk with them and hug them.....you can't do that sitting down. That is who I am. I refuse to let anything crush my hopes and dreams. This is what I believe is my ultimate gift from God. It is the one thing I am so sure of. I am not giving up yet. I am going to get through nursing school and get back to work if I have to do with my walker.

Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Ian Gannon

Last night Ian and Dana were joined as husband and wife. They met in high school and both graduated from Michigan State. Dana is an RN and works in the neonatal intensive care unit in Ohio were Ian is doing his residency to be a neurologist.

Ian and Dana as husband and wife

Peggy, Diane, Kathleen, Andrea, Dana, Laura, and me.

The Lake Charlevoix Crew

There were many years that when I was younger our families went to Lake Charlevoix together. There were also trips to Yogi Bear Camp ground, Traverse City, Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes, and Grant and Linda's cottage. Oh and we can never forget all the dinners at Dills. Kathleen and Diane were the oldest and would go out and meet boys and shop, or just drive around in the mini van and act cool. Peggy and I were the ones that used to stay back and babysit David (yes David was the only boy, poor guy), Dana, Andrea, and Laura when the parents would go out at night. I think at one point, all the little girls had a crush on David and would giggle and follow him around.

When I turned 16 I would get Andrea and Dana off the bus everyday and watched them four days a week, 2 summers in a row from 7-5. Dana was always the serious good girl and Andrea was my little trouble maker. She reminded me so much of myself. Peggy used to babysit Laura, so we would occasionally get them together during the day in the summer and go to the movies or McDonald or just would get them together so Peggy and I could have moral support. Now the three of them are all grown up and getting married. WOW, I remember when they used to have blankets (Laura called hers her B) suck their thumbs and change their diapers. They are all so beautiful and have grown up to be well rounded young woman!

Uncle Oscar, Aunt Mary, Brian, Marlene, Jerry, Chris, Linda, Grant, Dawn and Dave

The Ford ~ Rouge Steel Crew

These are the parents. Uncle Oscar, Brian, Grant, Dawn, Linda and my Dad all met at work (Originally Ford then chained off to Double Eagle, then Rouge Steel, now called Severstal) and they were inseparable. I used to call all of them by Uncle and Auntie because they were in my life more than my blood relatives. Dawn is the only one still with the company and they have all gone on to bigger and better things, but they always stayed close and ALWAYS have a great time when they get together.

We had such a great night together, filled with full laughter and talking about old times. I love those moments when you feel at home. Reminds me of that Cheers song, "Where everybody knows your name".




You can see the rest of the pictures from the wedding HERE.

The Gannon Wedding

Boating Fun

Yesterday we headed out to Lake St. Clair. David is in town for a week or so. The weather couldn't have been nicer. Not a cloud in the sky and no humidity, which is a huge plus for me. I HATE humidity.

Eli and my Dad were bumping belly's, I guess it's a man thing, kinda like rubbing your antlers on trees or something. Trying to show each other which one had the bigger belly. Being to preoccupied with comparing their manhood they didn't see Jeff coming, so Jeff decided to push them both overboard, they didn't know what hit them. Eli didn't drop his beer, go figure.

My Mom and Dad bought a dingy last year (this little boat that connects to their big boat). Uncle Dave decided to take Makenna, Erika, and I for a ride after he took Ryan for a ride. Ryan loved when Uncle Dave went FAST! He took the girls a little slower, mostly to just get Makenna to sleep and my back can't handle the bumps, so I got to sit on this blue cushion thing that is so comfy. Makenna did fall asleep and then Uncle Dave decided to join her in her nap in the front cabin.

My dad must be hanging out with the girls too much because now he thinks he's cool and shows the peace sign. They are quite the boaters and just seems to know everyone and anyone.

The girls met some new friends. They all had fun swimming together.

My little swimmers!


While the guys were cooking up chicken, burgers, and hot dogs back at the dock in the marina...the girls took the little ones down to the pool. Yes the marina they dock their boat at has a pool, along with anything else you can think of under the sun. They had a blast. At one time my Mom thought Ryan was waving at her when actually he was almost drowning. Good thing Diane was there to save her child. All of them this year are little water bugs. Erika and Olivia are finally swimming in the deep end without life jackets!

You can see the rest of the pictures HERE.

Boating Fun 2008

July 4th Fireworks

The Meador's, Dennis's, and Schultz's headed to the fireworks in Fowlerville on the 4th. We found a great spot right near the playground. The kids had a blast. It is hard to count 7 children under the age of 8 when it is so crowded but we managed not to loose any of them. WHEW!

A child (not any of ours) had pooped and made a skid mark down this slide, nobody was coming to clean it up, and of coarse none of the other parents would fess up to their child's mistake, so Diane decided to glove up (or double bag) and take the matter into her own hands.

Lauren climbing the wall!

Erika and Sophia

Kimmy just got a new double stroller and all the kids were able to get their turn to sit in it! All of them took turns and loved taking care of Sophia.

Olivia and Ryan getting ready for the fireworks

Diane and her little man enjoying a moment together.


Bobby and Eli giving Marina and Makenna a little push. HIGHER DADDY HIGHER!


They were pooped! Snuggle time!

Diane and I with our "Big Gulp's" ;)

Eli bought this ridiculus hat from some strange man at the party store and decided to wear it all night. Sombrero anyone, ugh....

After the fireworks we headed back to Diane and Jeff's and played a little wii. We were out a little too late, but was worth every second.

You can see the rest of the pictures HERE.

July 4th 2008

Happy Birthday To My Big Sis!

Diane turned 34!

When we were at St. Helen, her first birthday celebration.....Jeff wrote out a cute card using all the titles of the songs that David Cook sang on American Idol and surprised her with American Idol tickets. She was pretty happy! SHE IS IN LOVE WITH DAVID COOK and sometimes you can catch her drooling if she sees his picture or listens to his songs.

We celebrated her birthday quite a few times. This was her actual birthday. Diane and Jeff had some people over to celebrate. This is one of Diane's best friends Tracy. Like we haven't barbecued enough in the past couple weeks, whats another one.

Without limes or lemons, we decided to do tequila shots with oranges. Much better. Note to self....a few shots of tequila, valium, and darvocet leads to a slight black outs also know as a drunken stooper.


You can see the rest of the pictures HERE

Diane 34th B-day 2008

A little TLC

Our vacation was all that I needed and more. We stayed at the "Twin Lake Chalet". It was perfect! The weather was perfect, the cottage was perfect. The memories and laughter were coming from all angles.

Every morning the kids were out in the water swimming by 9 while the parents were still waking up and consumed some......well lots of, coffee. Some parents, I won't mention any names didn't get out of bed till almost 12pm.



Mostly Jeff and Eli were recovering from all their late nights up with each other. Di and I retired early a few nights to read our books and a couple of times from pure exhaustion, but we did try and compete with them and stayed up late a few nights.

There was a game room in the walk out level part of the cottage. Complete with foosball, air hockey, card table, big t.v., and dart board. Of coarse they brought playstation 2 complete with Madden.

Eli and Jeff kept a running tally of how well they did, because if you know Jeff and Eli, they are so competitive with each other ~ bragging rights.


They even competed on how many fish big fish they caught, which was NONE. They both will CLAIM they almost snagged one, but had nothing to show for it. I would definitely give them an A for effort though.




Jeff and I didn't do as well on our euchre streak as well as we have done in the past. I blame Jeff and his alcohol consumption.

The water was great. We had the whole lake and adjoining lake all to ourselves. At most we saw 2 other boats on the water at the same time.


The kids had a blast tubing. I think Ryan enjoyed himself the most. He is crazy and reminds me of my little bro when he was little...FEARLESS. Makenna even tubed with her Auntie, Uncle Jeff, and Daddy. I was a little sad that I didn't get to do that with her, but was great to be able to watch her enjoy it.




























Everyday we would take the pontoon boat to the sandbar, the boys would fish, the kids would swim, and Diane and I would work on our tan, talk, read and make sure nobody drowned. Makenna would crash out on the ride to or from the sandbar.



Almost every night before dinner, the kids would fish off the dock for pan fish. There were so many fish. You didn't even need bait and they would jump on the hook. Makenna even caught some all on her own.




Speaking of dinners, the food was fantastic every night. We all contributed, but I think the best meal was the one we all did together. Eli and Jeff marinated the chicken, Diane and I cooked it (while the guys were trying to catch the "big fish") and Diane made this pasta salad that was out of this world. She outdid herself. Diane and I had taken a trip to Houghton Lake earlier that day and bought all the fresh veggies and fruit at a great little homegrown market. Fresh cucumbers and tomatoes with a little salt and pepper, mmmmm.

Diane, Jeff, Eli and I worked as a team the entire week and we all had our little jobs that we did and were in charge of. Mine was to keep everyone in clean clothes. I probably did 3-4 loads a day. There was so much sand and the kids went through so many clothes and towels each day. I think I was even called the laundry Nazi. Diane even made me wash all the rugs in the cottage because they weren't clean enough for her. We all managed work together to keep the children happy, fed, somewhat clean.

The scenery was beautiful. Just sitting on the deck, you get lost in a zone. There was a rainbow that came out in the evening two days in row, when there wasn't even rain. It was beautiful.


The moon at night would literally glow off the water. The stars were magnificent.

My parents were able to come out and enjoy in the fun and arrived on Wednesday. With 11 people you would think that things could get a little sticky, but it was nothing but fun!

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil ~ The 3 Stooges

My Mom even slowed down enough to enjoy the book I finished earlier in the week.

It was peaceful and calm with no noise at times, except of coarse when you heard lots of laughter or when one of the little ones were a little tired. Erika, Lauren, Olivia, and Ryan shared a room with two bunk beds and Makenna had a room all to herself until Nana and Papa came, then she bunked with Eli and I.

A few nights we had a fire with s'mores for the kids and did sparklers that Uncle Dave bought for the kids. They loved it. The kids enjoyed the rides in the fishing boat and the paddle boat. There was so much to do and there was hardly ever a dull moment!






Pictures just don't do this trip justice. You can see the rest of them HERE. Diane and I were a little camera happy!

Vacation 2008

Michigan Pain Institute

I had a doctors appointment last week and there is a new and improved (hopefully) plan of action. Dr Carbajo is sending me to the Michigan Pain Institute to be evaluated and have injections of cortisone put in the area that is causing all these shenanigans. They will do these injections 3 times, 2 weeks apart, under sedation. I will be doing these along side with 4 more week of physical therapy. My physical therapist thinks that it will enable me to handle the more strenuous exercises without causing inflammation and muscle spasms that is causing all this pain. Hopefully it help me heal faster so I can get my independence back and get me back to work faster. I also need to be ready to start my nursing rotations at the end of August. I am being optimistic and am going to work as hard as I can. My first injection will be on June 30th, the Monday we get back from vacation. I have been told that everyone has different results with this treatment, I am trying to keep my expectations mid range. That should be pretty safe.

Weekend with my big Sis

Makenna crashed out with both Mermaids in her hands.

Ryan reading Makenna a bed time story

A dip in the pool

Enjoying some popsicles

The girls, Titus and I packed up and headed over to Diane's house for the weekend because Eli was absent. The kids actually behaved for the most part. There were few temper tantrums and lots of fun for them. They played on the slip'n'slide, in the pool, rode bike, took the dogs for some walks, read books, played with puzzles, ate lots of food, watched some movies and played indoors during the tornado warning and thunderstorms. There was even a stressful game of scene-it, I can giggle about it now. Diane and I drank lots of coffee and were able to get in a few girly movies after the kids crashed from pure exhaustion. She had some adult beverages in the evening, as I stuck to my drugs and had to pull out the vicoden occasionally. Some of us got a little burnt and I worked on fading my farmers tan.
I am now completely excited for vacation, we leave a week from Saturday, but instead of a little pool, we have a lake. An added gift will be that our husbands will be there to help. It is a lot of work to keep 5 children under the age of 8 happy and fed and we won't be as out numbered. An added bonus is that we won't have 3 dogs running around playing with each other and panting excessively (which drove Diane absolutely nuts, she's a little sensitive). I missed hanging with my sister and I even joked at the end of the weekend that we would be a great team as a married couple. Diane worked harder than I did. I stuck to what I was aloud to do and helped out as much as I could. You can see the rest of the pictures here or click on the album.

Weekend at Dianes

Comin Back To You

The Crossroads Worship Dance Team

Erika and Emily, two peas in a pod

Erika and Olivia were so excited to dance on the worship team 2 Sundays ago (yes I'm late, sorry). Olivia especially because it was her first time. The whole team and Miss Jen did a great job praising God that morning!

His Voice

My cousin Kristen (on the right) from Florida, that now lives in Knoxville is a beautiful singer. She has even performed at DollyWood. Eli and I were even honored that she came to Michigan and sang at our wedding. She has made a few personal CD's. Her new project is making a new worship CD. She went to Nashville this past weekend to start on it and is so excited about it. The production company that has picked them up it Eddie Crook. Her group she is in is called His Voice.

Olivia's Spring Musical

Olivia had her spring musical a few weeks ago. It was very cute! She did such a great job! She's a pro at this because she did it last year with her junior kindergarten class. My Mom, Auntie Diane, and Ryan joined Makenna and I to see the performance. There are a few videos of Olivia and her class and some of Makenna. Not that anyone but probably Eli's family would be interested in watching. Just click on the pictures with the little video icon on the lower left hand corner when you get to the web album and it will play them. The video's didn't come out that nice but Olivia is the one with the light blue long skirt and shirt on.

Olivia's Spring Musical

WEB ALBUM

Gypsy Moth

Erika was a gypsy moth in her spring musical. It was all about bugs and spring time. It had a lot of cute comic relief lines and a bunch of songs. She had a quite a few lines she did beautifully!!! I was so proud of her. There were 2 classes that participated in it and they all did a great job, it was a lot of material to remember! I would've posted some of it but I have it recorded on my dinosaur video camera that uses VHS and couldn't record much because I had Makenna with me. Thank god a friend of mine was there to help me with Makenna, because she ate all the good suckers in the first 10 minutes of the program. I also wore my brace.

Shasta went to her new Mommy

Olivia and Shasta on their last night together

Shasta went to her new home yesterday. Erika, Olivia, and I took her to her new Mommy's house last night. Monaca's Mom saw her on my blog, fell in love with her and decided she was ready to have a new kitty in her house, she had lost her 20 year old cat about 2 years ago.
Olivia and Shasta were quite a pair and it was difficult to decide not to keep her and difficult to explain to Olivia why we couldn't keep her. After we dropped her off, Olivia did shed some tears but was very happy that her new Mommy had all sorts of toys for her when she arrived and that made her feel so much better. Carolyn (Monaca's Mom) sent Erika and Olivia an email last night thanking them for Shasta and thanking them for taking such good care of her. They both had huge smiles on their faces after I read them the email last night. Olivia is still missing her but she is also so very happy that Shasta and Carolyn get to be together.
AND Eli is happy we don't have 5 cats. I am just happy that I saved Shasta's life and could bring joy to someone else. She was so much fun and will be missed.

My step back

I think I am at the point in one's life that when I am older I hopefully can look back at all this and laugh. This whole situation will be a story I can talk about and say I went through it and tell someone who is in the same situation that YES they will get through it and one day it will be better. But right now I am loosing faith, hope, and my sanity.
Tuesday morning when I woke up I felt great, went to physical therapy and was so proud of myself. Frank (my physical therapist) was happy with my progress and I was ahead of schedule. I was a little stressed that Frank told me he didn't think I should go back to work for at least another 3 - 4 weeks, but he said "we will see how it goes". He even gave me new exercises and I kicked butt. Wednesday was ok, a little sore from doing so much on Tuesday but still....I was happy and had a great attitude. It was a good sore, a work out sore.
Thursday at the dentist, Makenna was being a good girl for the first 45 minutes, after that, she lost control. Dealing with hearing the news about Olivia's teeth, trying to understand the treatment plan and trying from keeping Makenna from tearing up the place I had to pick her up and hold her more then once. Long story short, my back didn't like it. A few hours later at PT my back was spasming and I spent about 2 1/2 hours with my PT crying and in pain. He told me that just because I feel better one day doesn't mean that I am healed, that I have to remember that this is serious and I have to take it slow. He reassured me that sometimes this happens and that I just aggravated it a little and this is just a little bump in the road, that I pushed it a little too far. I felt like a complete ass because I had one of the moments that when you start to cry you can't stop. I was so frustrated, my PT and his tech did everything they could to help relieve some of the pain. I felt that everything I had done and all the work that I had done at PT was just erased and I was back at square one.
Friday I went back to the PT and I am now off most of my exercises and back on just massage, traction, some sissy exercises and the tread mill, plus I am back to being on pain medication regularly. Depending on how it goes through the weekend we can start adding things slowly again next week.
I want to take a huge jump forward!!!!!

Our Olivia

Olivia has been having mouth pain again. I was referred to yet another dentist by another mom I know (this is Olivia's 4th dentist). They squeezed her in yesterday morning, as a new patient and off we went. The tooth she had a pulpectomy done on at the 3rd dentist (that had refilled 2 times already) has now abscessed along with 3 other teeth that are on their way to doing the same thing. Olivia, who is now terrified of the 3rd dentist, has to have a tooth pulled (by an oral surgeon under anesthetic), a spacer placed, 3 pulpectomy's, 4 caps, and 4 other cavities filled. There are nine teeth total that need to be worked on in 7 visits total. 2 at the oral surgeon and 5 at the dentist. We have appointments all set up until the beginning of August.
Olivia has been through hell already with her teeth, ever since she was 2, this is why the dentist recommends anesthesia with the abscessed tooth, she believes that Olivia would loose the only trust and cooperation she has left if they were to pull the tooth with her being aware of the situation.
Monday we go in to see the oral surgeon for evaluation and to get her set up to have the tooth pulled, which will probably be sometime next week. Once that space has healed, the dentist will go to work on the rest. Olivia did a lot of crying yesterday and she hates her medicine that she has to take every 8 hours.
I feel so bad for her but I am trying really hard to be ok with putting her under anesthetic again, for her sake.
I am happy with her new dentist and Olivia seemed to really trust her. The office staff worked really hard to make her experience yesterday a good one and they succeeded. So I feel that we are in good hands. I just can't believe that 9 teeth can go this bad in 6 months.
Hearing all this and dealing with all this along with finding out that blue cross blue shield will only cover $1000 and Makenna was running around screaming and acting a terd was a lot to take.

Queen of Hearts

Who's been painting my roses red?

I am no longer know as the Sea Witch. Now Makenna calls me the Queen, but not just any Queen, the Queen of Hearts. She says........

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS, your Majesty!"

Sometimes she will even curtsy.
In my opinion, I feel more like the pot smoking caterpillar with all the drugs I'm on.

OFF WITH HER HEAD!!

(Gosh, I think I'd rather be known as the Sea Witch)

Nursing Orientation

Tonight is my nursing orientation. It is from 6-8pm smack dab in the middle of campus. My sister is driving me because I don't know how well I will do going 75 mph on I96 (ok so I really usually go 80 mph). Eli offered to take me but I thought he needs a break from me and needs a little Brad time. So I am excited to go and I have a starbucks gift card so Diane and I can get a coffee for our drive. The best part about it is that I have a handicap sticker. So I get a great parking spot, but I am leaving my walker at home.
Dave you will be happy to know that I will be sporting my fanny pack though.

Brad, Joann, and Sue

I love my bosses, well gosh, I probably have more bosses than I should because of all the hands in the cookie jar....but for the most part I am treated like family, sometimes too much like family, mostly better than family. We all bicker like old married couples. When my back injury at work happened Sue, Brad, and Joann were so caring and understanding. They love Eli and my girls like they love their own family and they are such giving people. I have had many ups and downs through the years and some of the dynamics with Jeffrey Animal Hospital were hard to handle but this is my home away from home and would never change a thing. To think of how good they have been to me over the years and that I will be leaving in the future brings tears to my eyes and was one of the hardest decisions I had to make.
There are clients and patients there that I have seen as a puppies and kittens, seen them grow and helped walk them to the grave and loved them with the all the love that I have in my heart.
Anyways.....Brad, Joann, and Sue have bent over backwards to take care of me during this injury. My family talks about Brad, Joann and Sue like they are family. They are great people and they will always be a part of me and who I am and what I will become in the future. Thank you Brad and Joann for giving me an opportunity to shine, show who I am, and deal with my....lets just say, dominating personalities!
Joann is also having a hard time with her foot right now, she just had surgery and will be going through PT as well. We actually will be going to the same place I believe. Please keep Joann and her family in your prayers, she needs prayers just as much if not more than I.
Also please pray for Eli and Brad that they can put up with us.......

Physical Therapy

So today was my follow up with my internist on my progression to the incident. I have finished the Prednisone and I am not happy about it. It was the only medication that was really helping and it gave me energy to kept me positive and kept trucking. I begged for more but it was a no go, she called it an immediate fix and not a long term fix. Instead I got more Vicoden ES and Valium, good think I am a happy drunk. It keeps me cool, calm, and collected. I am ready to start my physical therapy and I am going to go to the PT that my mother uses. The one my internist recommended couldn't get me in until June 2nd, and I was not about to wait that long to get back to work. I am going to Oakland Physical Therapy starting Monday three days a week for 4 weeks. I am going to be under the care of Frank Kava so off I go. If PT doesn't help the next step would be epidural injections, but I am going to be optimistic and work hard. I can do this!

We all need a nap once in a while

Kenna fell asleep on the toilet taking a "turtle poop" (that's what she calls it)

This is what happens when I can't run after Makenna anymore (she is much faster than me lately, my walker just can't move that fast), I slipped some of my Vicoden and Valium in her apple juice. (OK TOTALLY KIDDING, I don't need child services at my door, yet I could probably use a vacation) She always asks me "You back hurr Momma, oh poor Momma, you yet me wub it?"
And I don't usually post nasty pictures of myself (or frumpy as Jon would call them) but having Kenna in a peaceful quiet moment with me was too precious to pass up. If only she was this quiet.......

Kenna loves to play outside on the swing set and her favorite is the teeter tauter. She has a huge cut on her nose to prove it. She can get up pretty high all on her own...."LOOK AT ME MOMMA", yes Kenna I see you and please God don't let her fall. FEARLESS I SAY!

OK I think her name is "Shasta"

AH HELP ME!!!! Put me down so I can bite you!

Eli loves kitty cats.......

Erika is a PRO

I am so happy that Shasta is bottle feeding. It makes life so much easier. She is so much fun especially when she bounces around and bites you. Well actually it scares the S#&* out of you. She loves Titus, but Titus just runs from her. Anyone want her? I have strict regulations and there with be a home visit.....

Bed Rest

On Monday I was sent from work to Botsford hospital by ambulance because of a back injury. It took 3 doses of Fentanyl and 4 men to move me from the kennel room to the ambulance. I would take childbirth any day over what I felt. After being at Botsford for almost 6 hours, they couldn't tell me anything and/or control the pain properly. In my opinion Botsford ER sucks! Tuesday I had an MRI and yesterday I went to my internist for my results. I have a bulging disc between L5 and S1 with degeneration and arthritis in my sacrum, she said that it wasn't really normal for my age, but hey nothing ever is in my case. The good news is that the the disc is not completely herniated and cutting off the nerve supply but the inflammation that all this has caused, intermittently puts too much pressure on my nerves. So she has also started me on Prednisone (yeah so I get to gain 10 pounds). After the pain and numbness resolves I will be starting rehab. So as of right now I am sporting this baby.......
Having a quad level house doesn't make life any easier, but I am starting to master the stairs. I have only fallen once and Eli (thank God) was there to catch me.
Erika helps me get dressed in the morning (what a big girls she is). Olivia loves to do anything for me. She has even been doing some laundry. Makenna has picked up on things and tries to help as much as a 2 year old can and she keeps me smiling through the day. I have the greatest friends and family. My Mom and Dad have been here almost everyday. Kimmy is taking over the mommy role for my sick kitty. Jen brought dinner over Monday night, Cath came over and spent the day with me, folded laundry for me, took me to the doctor, made dinner, and made me laugh. I can't even begin to tell everything Eli has done, some things I cannot elaborate on. He has been my sole support system and I can honestly now say he has seen me at my worst.
I am a control freak and relying on other people is very difficult for me. I feel helpless and useless. Thank God for the all the important people in my life, I just hope one day I can return the favor.
So to make a long story short....I am in pain, highly medicated, and very bored. So if anyone is bored and wants to be bored with me, come on over and you could bring me some people or star magazines. I love the gossip smut magazines. I want my independence back and I am trying to find the humor in all of this.

Ryan's feminine side

Erika, Lauren, and Olivia were born one after another. They have pretty much been raised together treat each other like sisters which includes sibling rivalry. All girls included a lot of whining and foo foo stuff. We had a little break, then we saw a light....A BOY. Poor Ryan. He has been with girls girls girls. He has adapted well. He likes to play dress up and princesses with Makenna (as you can see above). Eli and Jeff are constantly chasing him around telling him to put that down or take that off..."be a man". I love Ryan and I think he is perfect just the way he is. He definitely knows how to play like a boy, he is just in touch with his feminine side. He will make some woman very happy one day. Makenna and Ryan are great together and it's a nice break from the constant bickering that Erika, Lauren, and Olivia do.

Vesta

Vesta is an orphan kitty that I have been taking care of since Saturday. She has had her good days and bad days. She has a severe upper respiratory infection. So I have been tube feeding her, medicating her every 4 hours and being her Mommy. Yes I am falling in love with her. If I put her down she finds me and follows me all around the house. This is the reason why I already have 4 cats. I cannot Mother something and then give it away. Eli is trying to remind me that we don't live in animal kingdom.

A visit with Sophia and Marina

Erika and Sophia

Makenna, Olivia, and Marina

The Dennis's came over last Saturday night and the girls were up and cheerful until 11pm. Bobby and I were dwindling before they were. Marina and Makenna are so fun to watch. It is nice to see Makenna interact with children her own age. I can't believe Marina and Makenna are growing up so fast. I hope they stay the best of friends. It seems like yesterday that I was still watching Marina and my days were filled with diaper changes and bottles. I don't miss the babies crying and needing to be fed at the same time or waking each other up from their naps, but I do miss all the precious moments. Marina was like my forth child and I feel like I don't even know Sophia because of life's busyness. She is a happy baby and has big beautiful blue eyes.

My Big Sis

Diane is graduating tonight from U of M Flint. She will now hold a bachelor's degree in social work with HONORS and will be moving on in the near future for her Masters degree. I am so proud of my big sister. She has worked so hard! Diane is a huge inspiration to me! Great Job Di!!! Wish I could be there to see you tonight, but I will be with you in spirit! YOU DID IT!!!!

This could be Eli one day......

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband. "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked. "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would only have to spend $150?"

The man then replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

It's Official

Dear Dana,

We have completed Phase II review of your application for the Career Ladder Nursing Program. You have been admitted to the Fall 2008 class. Please accept my congratulations!

The rest of the letter pretty much read blah blah blah, orientation meeting blah blah blah. Holy crap I did it! In roughly 25 months, I will be an RN!!

Twin Lake Chalet

The view during the day

The view at night

The Cottage

Diane and I put many hours into a search that seemed endless at times. We looked online at so many different websites. We have talked to people on the phone and through email. At one time I think I had over 50 emails that were conversations back and forth to renters, Diane, Jeff, and Eli. Well the original one we wanted ended up having a cancellation come up on Saturday. Diane had jumped on it and we have reserved it for 1 week at the end of June. We are going with the good ol' Meadors family. This cottage is perfect! It is equipped with boats, tubing, fishing equipment, game room, private beach, horseshoes, fire pit, and fully stocked wine cellar. What we will add is lots of laughter, probably some tears (with Makenna it's inevitable), euchre tournaments (Jeff and I will of coarse prevail), Texas hold'em, exquisite barbecued food by Chef Eli and Chef Jeff and lots of memories! I am in need of some family time and knowing it is in the near future makes life a little easier. The one thing it won't be is quiet, that's for sure, but that's just part of the territory.