Tonight is my night to drive out to Lansing and go to the pre-nursing advising seminar at Lansing Community College. I am so nervous, I can't see strait. I don't like to feel overwhelmed. For the most part, I handle it well, but I don't like it. I guess who really does. I think I am afraid that it will seem to hard and I'll find some silly, stupid little reason why I can't do it.
I was watching Joyce Meyer last night. She was talking about goals and what you want out of life. What God has in store for us. She was saying that sometimes people pray and pray. Then when God gives them the opportunity, they run from it. They find excuses not to follow through with it. Basically that people complain about their life and feel sorry for themselves, then God gives them a way out and they don't take it.....then they complain that it didn't work out. Am I that person.
This step is so huge for me. I don't like stepping into the unknown. I hate change. I am frightened of it. I don't like driving where I don't know where I'm going. I hate school. I suck at taking tests (I have no idea how I passed my boards for vet tech). I am the one who still has nightmares about having to go back to high school because I failed a test or forgot to hand in a homework assignment. I hate studying, I hate reading. I don't even have the attention span to read a book. I have some issues with dyslexia.
I am also feeling extremely guilty for even thinking about switching careers. Everytime I want to, something bad happens at Jeffrey Animal Hospital. Last time I wanted to go to school, Jeannie broke her ankle and I covered for her full time until she came back. Yet again, on Monday, our other LVT, Leah, walked off the job. Now we are short at work again. I feel guilty for not working more there and feel guilty about wanting to leave. Sue (my practice manager), keeps asking me if I can work more. I just don't know. It is like home to me there. I feel like I disobeying my parents.
SO, are these my excuses? My way out? Do I want it bad enough? Am I following my heart? Am I listening to God and what he wants me to do with my life? OR.....am I selfish.
If anyone has any words of wisdom....feel free to enlighten me.
4 comments:
You are a beautiful, intelligent, responsible, and an amazing person. You will do great. I have more faith in you than anyone I know. I think that anyone in your position would feel the same way. Thats why I haven't gone back to school. I will be right here behind you the whole way. I love you honey. Go get um
Thanks Eli. Thank you for supporting me and loving me the way you do!! XOXOXO
Dana...I sent you an e mail.
Best of Luck!
Monaca
STOP MAKING EXUSES!! You are smart & you can do it. You deserve your dreams, so stop allowing them not to come true. You have nightmares because you want to go back & finish school, not because you are afraid. These nightmares are telling you something, not keeping you from something. Do what you want to do, not what anyone else wants you to do. If you want to be a nurse, be one, NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! Only you can make your dreams happen & you have the ability to do it, I KNOW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, if Jeffrey's is your second home, they should be supportive of your decision. Family supports each other, not discourages each other of following their dreams!
Now, GO TO LANSING!!!!! Love You!!
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