School

As if I don't have enough stress in my life, I want to add a little something more......I want to go back to school. AHHHHH....what am I thinking. This is something I have wanted since...forever. I tried to go back to school in 2001, but ended up getting pregnant with Olivia.
I want to be a nurse. Not for animals but for actual people. NOT that I don't love my job. I am taken care of in every way there is to be taken care of. I feel like I have this enormous gift that I am not using. I LOVE PEOPLE!!! I love being around people. I love helping people, especially when they are in need or sad or hurting. I love to hear all the bad stuff that sucks and even all the great stuff. To be able to hold someone's hand through pain or suffering. I know I can be great at it. I know I have it in me. If I start school in January.....go part time, a class here, a class there, I should be finished by the time Makenna is in kindergarten. I do have a lot of credits that did transfer from my Associates degree from tech school.
When I graduated from High School...I went to Madonna for an interview into the nursing program. The nursing director scared me to death....I was afraid to fail. I held off and decided to just take some prerequisite courses until I was ready. I was looking for a job at that time and found an ad in the paper for dog grooming. I thought how easy....play with animals all day. The doctor there talked me into going to vet tech school. He said I had a gift. The rest is history. 12 1/2 years later.....This is my life. I am truly blessed. I do love my job and I know I am good at what I do. I love the people I work for (Brad and Joann are the best!!!).
What do I do? Am I stupid? Am I being selfish? Should I just be happy with how truly blessed I am at this moment or do I take everything as a learning experience and move on. Do I just put my whole heart into my kids and forget changing careers? I am struggling. My wonderful husband....he said, "do it, follow your heart. We'll make it work." He has supported me every time I've wanted to do this. Who could ask for more? (or maybe he thinks I'm crazy and I won't follow through)
What do I do? What if it's too hard? What if it puts to much strain on my marriage? What if my children miss me too much and I damage them? Do I want to have student loans added to all my debt? Just because I have a feeling I could be great at something........
OH GOD HELP ME. Help me with this decision. I need courage, strength, and guidance. I need you to hold my hand right now.

Now I want a cigarette....

Long before you entered nursing

The Lord had played His part,

Planting seeds of love and kindness

In the portals of your heart.

For it's clear that you've been gifted

With a sympathetic ear,

And blessed from the beginning

With a willingness to cheer.

And the people who you care for

Are better off by far,

When they're touched by your compassion,

By the person that you are.

For in times of woe and worry

When they're frightened or they're blue,

No one could be more consoling than the friend they'll find in you.

-Author Unknown