Well this is my first entry. I'm not really sure why I am doing this, but I think it is a good thing for me. I hate actually writing on paper and I'm not that great when it comes to keeping a journal so here I go!
Today is Davids birthday, the big 25. The boys...Eli, Dad, Jeff, and Dave are out golfing for the first time this season. It's a little chilly outside but I hope they are enjoying themselves.
My 2 daughters Erika and Olivia are in the other room watching Little Bear. They are low key today because of being up late last night and getting up early for church - Also the time change - Loosing an hour, gotta love the spring forward. I was thinking of napping but decided to do this instead.
I almost 14 weeks pregnant and all of a sudden decided I have not been keeping notes on how my 2 children have already grown. I remember when I was a little girl and I found a journal that my mother wrote in, there was only a couple of entries, but I remember them. I always that when I grew up I and had children of my own that I wanted to do that - Just so my children and I could have something to look back on. I feel like life is going by so quickly and I am already starting to forget the wonderful and exciting things that have happened in my life. This is a start I suppose.
I feel like I am at a stressful time in my life. Maybe because I'm pregnant or maybe because I am forgetting who I am and what God wants me to be. So I am in a search for 'calm'.
Sometimes I wonder if I have become someone that others want me to be. Am I being true to myself? How to be your TRUE SELF? I feel that some people have a better grasp of who they are. What's their secret?
I remember a time in my life when I was truly happy! I'm not sure if I am still TRULY happy. I know that I am doing 'ok' but not like I should be. I can only blame myself. For possibly falling into a routine, I should have recognized.
I know that Eli is frustrated with my attitude sometimes and together we are not who we use to be. I know I love him with all my heart. Well anyways. I pray that this will help me find my way.
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