Well today is Wednesday. Eli and the girls went out to get KFC so I thought I would take a second to write.
Today, I found out that my Auntie Chris has stage III ovarian cancer! I have been thinking about her all day and I just want to cry. It really put my life into perspective and made me realize how wonderful my life actually is. Nobody in my immediate family is sick or dying. When I was younger I lost my grandfather, but I was so young I don't really remember him. Later I lost a few friends from High School.
I lost my Uncle Pat (my Auntie Chris's husband) about 10 years ago to a sudden heart attack. I would have to say, loosing my Uncle Pat has probably the hardest, just because he was a big part of my life and a big part of my parents life. It crushed my father. It hurt to see my parents hurting.
I wonder how people go through their day without thinking about people they have lost. I am truly blessed to have my family. Even though sometimes I wonder why I love them all so much when we argue! I decided that I need to start cherishing moments more and more. To stop dwelling in the past. Stop looking into the past so much and try to live life in every moment and enjoy it to the fullest. It's a hard thing to do!
I need to start being happy about all the wonderful things and wonderful people in my life! I pray that God will give me the strength. I pray and lift my Auntie Chris up to him! I pray that my Uncle Pat will keep her safe and watch over her. Please help her and give her the strength she will need. Also give strength to her family and children-they have already lost one parent!
I understand when God wants you with him, it's suppose to be a wonderful thing. I just don't understand why the pain is so strong for the people left behind. Why do people have to suffer before he decides what he wants to do with you? When I think about death and suffering I question God. Is that right or wrong?
Sometimes I have to admitt, I get angry with him for letting it happen, when he has the power to give people peace. This is my struggle.
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