Vacation MODE.....

I am officially in vacation mode. This week I had 2 tests in Anatomy...lecture and lab. My usual 4.0. I just handed in my LAST project for my healthy lifestyles class about 30 minutes ago and just posted my last discussion post. I am free and clear of any possible school work until next week. YIPPY!!!!!
Tomorrow the girls are out of school AGAIN (I swear they get so many days off). Eli has his first golf night. So I have all day to jump into full laundry and house cleaning mode to get ready for vacation.
Friday my parents are taking my girls up north for the weekend around 12:00 pm so I have all Friday afternoon and evening to pack my "carry on luggage" and have some ME time. Eli is going out with the boys to the traditional Friday night BW's beer. In 2 1/2 days I will be somewhere other that Michigan (I refuse to go to Flint - NOT AN OPTION).
VACATION HERE I COME! I'd let you all know where I'm going but Eli and Dave have refused to give out any information even for exchange for sex.....(just so you know, I didn't offer it to Dave, just my hottie husband....GOSH, get your mind out of the gutter!).
I'm feeling frisky!

Dana's Engaged

This is my "little" Dana....all grown up and getting married. I babysat her and her sister Andrea for a couple of summers and in the afternoons during the school year. They're my girls.... Dana is engaged. She is just graduating May 5th from MSU with honors and is currently working at U of M hospital in Ann Arbor in the neonatal unit and she is marrying Ian who is currently in medical school studying to be a neurologist. They are moving to Ohio next year so Ian can do his internship. GO DANA! I'm so proud of you!
Feeling kinda old! Maybe Dana can get me a job when I graduate....hee hee!

Random Pictures of Makenna

Big Mouth! Wonder where she gets that from?

Marina

Last night I got to babysit Marina. She is so much fun! Apparently she hasn't forgotten how to eat! Watching Marina and Makenna play together was great! I can't believe they're growing up so fast.

The Farm

Eli took the girls to the farm on Saturday with Dave and Susan. They had a great time and Daddy survived. Wished I could've gone. I'm glad the girls had some Daddy time.

I CAN DO BETTER

I had a crappy day! I couldn't test out of intermediate algebra so it totally puts a damper on my next to semesters and possibly effect my acceptance into the nursing program next year. I am stressed. I was angry walking out of school, feeling like I could punch something. Feeling like I could totally throw in the towel, just walk away. I was struggling with....Is this a test of my strength or is God trying to tell me to be more patient. Talking to Cathie today helped me figure out who I am really mad at and who I need to be angry with and it seemed so simple when she said it....SATAN! How do I keep second guessing myself again and again on account of him? How do I give into him so easily when I am such a strong woman? I don't usually put up with anyones S*$%. I don't need him and I refuse to let him into my head. Thanks Cath! I know who I am now. REALITY CHECK. That's why God has put so many wonderful people in my life.



Avril Lavigne "I can do better"

Olivia and her BLUE tongue

Olivia can't get enough candy or gum. I love her with all my heart, even with her addictions. We are so alike it is scary and I notice it more everyday. We are having a great afternoon together. Notice her change in clothing....she has changed 4 times today, she says it's because of the weather~typical woman!

Happy Birthday To ME

SO.....my 31st birthday is here. I decided to give myself a present. I got my nose pierced. It is something I always wanted to do and never had enough courage to do it. Call it rebellious, call it a mid life crisis, maybe I'm trying to find a way to stay young, call it what you want. It is a huge step for me and I love it! I'm still young and I look pretty darn good for being a mother of 3 in her 30's. And YES, I am still nervous for my parents to find out...like I'm gonna get a spanking or get grounded. Well maybe I might want a birthday spanking but only from Eli behind the locked bedroom door.

ANYWAYS~I am having a great birthday...I have had so many birthday wishes from so many people.....except my Dad or my brother hasn't called me yet, typical Marshall trait. I've been hanging out with the girls and doing laundry. Tonight Eli is taking me to the Sushi Zen in Brighton then out for a drink with Dave and Cathie.

Last night Cathie, Lori, Sue, Jen, and Joann took me out to dinner at Bella Luna's in South Lyon for dinner and they were kind enough to buy me all new underwear. Only because I'm still wearing maternity underwear and they don't think that's normal. I guess you can really tell when you've been married for 10 years and underwear and bras are not an important factor in all that. Eli's not too picky. I have better things to spend my money on.

THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY PEOPLE FOR ALL OF YOUR AWESOME BIRTHDAY WISHES!!! You made my day SO much greater and I love you all! XOXO

The Brain

My anatomy teacher is kinda quacky but good. This morning to start our lecture off, he played this for us. I'll be singin for the rest of the day....

Baby Rock Records

My new thing is to go to the library and check out CD's and download them on my iTunes. I went to the library yesterday with Erika and Olivia and I saw this CD in the new section. I thought it would be a great CD for Eli and Makenna to listen too. I always try to have music going in my kitchen...It really helps me and Makenna stay in a good mood. We try and sing and dance all day. I am not a Pink Floyd fan. I never really was, but this CD is GREAT, Makenna and Eli agree. Made by Baby Rock Records. I checked out their website. They have a quite a few albums which include rock bands such as Metallica, Led Zeppelin, U2, Bob Marley and more. I wish they came out with them sooner. It would have been great for Eli and the girls when they were babies. I was pretty sick of the traditional lullabies by the third child. It would have been great to change it up a bit. Music has always been such a big thing when the girls were little.

The Girls

These Women are my savings grace! I love them all dearly. Last night we went out to Lu and Carls in Brighton and had a great night!

Me and My Mom

I love this picture of my Mom and me. I think I look more like my Dad!

Erika is such a great BIG SISTER

I love that Erika can read now. Last night Erika read "Are You My Mother" to Olivia and Makenna. I love that Makenna was snuggling with her big sister! TOO CUTE! Olivia loves to pretend that she can read as well as Erika, she will repeat the words after Erika will say them....it frustrates Erika, but I give Olivia an A for effort! I'm so glad my girls love each other MOST of the time!

Kenna loves pizza

Makenna had a great time playing peek a boo at the pizza party! Besides the sucker idea (thanks to Cathie) was the only thing that kept her in her seat and calm. I forgot about this "I can't sit still stage". I have to say....I didn't miss it much! She's lucky she's cute, or I would feed her to the dog.......

Erika last soccer game!

Erika was sooooo proud of her soccer metal. Last night was "the Bulldogs" last soccer game and ended the season with a win. Erika's favorite position is defense and she is AWESOME at it! GREAT JOB BULLDOGS!

Yeah, I'm in that mood...

This is my song for the moment....

Lay It Down
By Jaci Velasquez

I've been looking til my eyes are tired of looking
Listening til my ears are numb from listening
Praying til my knees are sore from kneeling on the bedroom floor
I know that You know that my heart is aching
I'm running out of tears and my will is breaking
I don't think that I can carry the burden of it anymore
All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are slowly slipping through my folded hands

So I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna learn to trust you now
What else can I do?
Everything I am depends on you
And if the sun don't come back up
I know Your love will be enough
I'm gonna let it be
I'm gonna let it go
I'm gonna lay it down

I've been walking through this world like I'm barely living
Buried in the doubt of this hole I've been digging
But You're pulling me out and I'm finally breathing in the open air
This room may be dark but I'm finally seeing
There's a new ray of hope and now I'm believing
That the past is the past and future's beginning to look brighter now
Oh, Cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands

So I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna learn to trust you now
What more can I do?
Cause everything I am depends on you
And if the sun don't come back up
You know Your love would be enough
I'm gonna let it be
I'm gonna let it go
I'm gonna lay it down

I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna lay it down

You can hear it on myspace page or her myspace page.

I am so sad. I can't look at Makenna without feeling horrible guilt and frustration. I'm not sure what I am suppose to be learning from all this. I could get so many things out of what has been going on with my family......Since I have started school Makenna has broken her arm, had pneumonia/RSV, now was bitten by my own dog and has stitches in her little palm. Olivia has had social issues at school, and don't get me started on all the strep. Eli and I are arguing about the stupidest and idioc things and I am ready to crack and I'm sure Eli is ready to commit me. The only thing that I can say is going right is that I am getting a 4.0 in both of my classes. So am I being totally selfish and letting my family fail as I gain something. I have been crying since yesterday and I lost it in the middle of walmart today. I wonder what people thought of me balling in the Easter aisle. I came home from school after getting an A on my test (which I don't know how I pulled that out of my a##, I wasn't even happy or proud of myself), then I had to clean and re-dress Makenna's boo boo and started sobbing again. Let Titus out, sobbed again. Don't call me and ask me how I am because I'll just loose it. In the next 10 days I have to take care of my little baby and try and find a home for Titus and/or decide if Titus lives or dies. I really wish I could find a good home for him. He's not bad, he's such a good boy...he is just food aggressive and cage aggressive. This is SOOOO my fault. I blame myself. I should have been there. I woke up late and was running late for church, not paying attention to my baby. I thought Kenna was in her room. What if he bit her face....Oh God, I don't know. I have too much on my plate and I have that I can do it all attitude. I cannot live in calm and quiet, I need chaos and commotion. I add more and more to keep myself preoccupied. Now I am in over my head and I cannot juggle it all......my balls are falling and rolling all over the ground. I am failing. I am selfish. I am sorry.
Eli tells me that I am taking this overboard and this is just the everyday. "Don't blame yourself Dana." That I shouldn't read too much into it, but I can't help to think that God is trying to tell me something in all this. I am really having a hard time hearing him lately and I keep praying and talking to him but am feeling alone and deaf to him.