I passed

On Monday I tried to register for my classes (Anatomy and Healthy Lifestyles). I was unable to do it because my math class had expired so I needed to take a math test to make sure I didn't have to retake my math course over again. Thinking to myself....oh great, here comes all the bumps in the road. How foolish I was. I went tonight to take my test. I only answered 1 question incorrectly...oh yeah....94%, (technically I thought the question I got wrong was a stupid trick question and should not have mattered). Not too bad considering I haven't taken a math course in, oh, 11 years. I was so extremely proud of myself. So I am officially registered! Can I officially call myself a college student? I am giddy!

*Thank you Eli for your support today and for helping with a refresher crash course walking out the door. Eli also fed the girls, gave them baths, and put them to bed two days in a row. What a man!

Coram Deo

One of the biggest reason why I love "myspace" is because of all the music. It's fun just to go from one artist to another and listen to different things. There are so many GREAT artists out there. I think myspace is a great way for artists to promote their music. I love relating to it, I love the way it makes me feel. I love that it can make me smile and cry. Music impacts me in such a huge way.
One artist that I have found (actually she found me) is Laura Allen. I love her music. My favorite song of hers is "Coram Deo", which means "Before the Face of God". You can hear her music on her myspace page.



Here are the lyrics:

CORAM DEO
Verse 1:

No lover could ever write a song

That could ever say enough

And no man can think up words

To last the test and measure

Of all that You’re worth

Pre-Chorus:

Yet as I stand here, and I weep

I cannot help but think, of Your love

Chorus:

Of a Love so pure and so divine

For someone or something as inadequate as me

A Love so famous, yet so unknown

Even the closest of close, have so far to go

Verse 2:

Your heart pursues my heart

Everyday You cry out my name

Everyday it’s still the same

Oh, how I relish Your voice

Even though it cries through tears and pain

So that I’d run to You again

Thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving was....filling and just wonderful all around. It was a pretty quiet Thanksgiving. Diane and Jeff didn't get to my parents till around 7:30pm. Our family is not that big and Eli doesn't have any family here, but we did get a newcomer. Jackie started working and Jeffrey's a couple of weeks ago. She is such a sweet girl. She just moved here from Mississippi. She seemed to have a good time with the family and playing euchre with the boys. She was Dave's partner and they smoked Eli and my Dad both games. She fit right in.
My favorite moment of the day was Olivia's prayer at dinner. God was smiling down at her.
I hope everyone had a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Black Friday

This was my first Black Friday I have ever participated in. I usually shop on a weekday when the stores are empty. Diane and I were shopping by 7:30 (I woke up late). We hit Target, Kohls, and Toys R us. We did an awesome job with our coupons and bargain skills. We stopped for brunch at Leo's Coney Island somewhere in there because shopping was exhausting. By 1:45pm I was ready to collapse. I am exhausted. I am finished with Erika, Olivia, Makenna, Lauren and Ryan. YIPPY! I am looking forward to a relaxing evening with Eli. We received some movies from Netflix. It's a toss-up between Click and The Da Vinci Code. I want a nice fire and a big bowl of popcorn.
Maybe I'll show Eli the girls presents so he won't be surprised Christmas morning.

Happy Anniversary to US

Tomorrow is our 9th Anniversary! Here are some facts about our life together......

*We met in June of 1996 at a bar (cush'n'que, now called snookers). My sister was dating his roomate. He stole me away from someone
*Our first kiss at my parents house in the basement playing some video game. I kissed him!
*Eli proposed 3 months after we met. (He fell pretty hard, hee hee)
*I knew he was "the one" the first night we sat up and talked until 5:00 in the morning.
*He knew I was "the one" when I ate an entire medium pizza all by myself.
*We were engaged for 1 year.
*We were married on a Friday night at Bakers in Milford. It was snowing. Our pastor was a woman and looked like the short old lady from the poltergeist movies, she was also a bulldog breeder.
*We went to Tahoe for our honeymoon. We stayed at Harvey hotel and I won at the casino, he kept loosing and taking all my money.
*We have lived in an apartment in Westland, a house in Redford, and our current house in Brighton.
*We have 3 beautiful girls.
*Eli NEVER lets me drive when we go somewhere together.
*Eli has always lets me have the nicer car.
*Eli kisses me goodbye every morning, even if I am sleeping. He tells me he loves me at least 2 times a day, but usually more.
*Eli is usually the first to apologize.
*I love him more today than ever before. He is my best friend, my support system, my family, my life!

Makenna

Gotta love that face!

Cheese

Makenna loves this scarf. She puts it on, takes it off, puts it on, takes it off....... Keeps her busy. She's gonna be my little "SUPER STAR".

My Mom

My Mom is officially unemployed! Last night we celebrated with some champagne. My mom and I had a great time together last night. We talked and talked and talked so more. It was probably one of the best conversations I have ever had with her. I am proud to say that I am just like her!

Makenna playing dress up

Complete with a purple tiara

Ryan likes to play dress up too!

Erika and Olivia love to dress up Makenna. Makenna just goes with the flow.

So You Think You Can Dance

Joe, Joann, Mark, Jen, Dave, Cathie, Lori, Justin, Eli, and I are THE BEST! The best at what? I'm not sure of. BUT I do know we had a great night Friday night. We all learned something new together and had a great time doing it (at least I did). All the men were great sports!!!! We all learned the foxtrot and the waltz. We finished with great food and drinks at the South Lyon Hotel, and ended with a game a phase 10.

Rianne

Rianne is one of my oldest and dearest friends. We have know each other for 14 years. She is a awesome person. As if her life isn't hard enough right now, she has been having some health issues. On Monday, while she was at work, she went blind and her arm went numb. She was at the hospital for the day had some tests and was discharged that evening when her sight had returned. She had a follow up with her regular doctor. Because of that incident and past medical history since May, her doctor recommended her to have a MRI. She will be having this done and will be seeing the neurologist following the procedure on December 5th. Her doctor said the incedent could be early signs/symptoms of MS (multiple sclerosis). She is a beautiful, single mother of 2, who is strong, patient, kind and all the wonderful things a woman can be. Please help me pray for her, for her strength the next few weeks. This has to be very difficult for this to weighing on her mind, what a horrible unanswered question to just sit with. She just doesn't deserve this horrible disease. 

Jason

Jason is the Youth Pastor at Crossroads. Him and his wife, Jess are pretty awesome. Jason has a blog, if you want to check it out! I give credit to Jason, Dave and Jess for connecting to kids at their level. It's a gift that so GREAT! Great blog entry from Dave, it's so awesome that people can be so supportive!

I love a good story - especially when it goes counter to what normally happens in the world; stories of when a person chooses others rather than themselves, stories about long-term commitment, love and sacrifice. Here's a true story that speaks volumes about a friend of mine, Jason Shinn.

Jason is the Youth Pastor at Crossroads Church, where Cathie and I have been attending for 12 years. The past few years have been pretty tumultuous - with two affairs on staff, lots of people having left and a church in chaos.
As a fresh-out-of-college Youth Pastor, Jason was forced to step up into teaching, leading and odd jobs to keep things rolling. Throughout it all, he stuck with the church and with the kids.

Even in the midst of our newly found consistency and new growth, we're at a point right now in our budget and our building campaign where we've had to make some hard trade-offs. With a church of about 150, we don't have the budget right now to pay a youth pastor what we should, which is where Jay comes into the story. Now understand that being a youth pastor isn't a glamorous job to begin with and Jason is not paid a ton of money, even by youth pastoring standards. It would have been very easy for Jason (and his wife Jess, who works part time helping everywhere for free) to be disgruntled, leave and go find a job at a stable church that pays him decently).

He and Jess are so committed to this church and to the kids at this church that Jason was willing to humble himself to go work at Old Navy so he could continue the work that he feels God has called him to at Crossroads. I think that speaks a ton about J and his commitment to his calling. Kids learn stuff from the youth group meetings, but mostly, they learn from the character of the leaders over time and they way they live their lives. The kids in our youth group saw leaders in this church do some very dishonorable things over time and I'm proud of the way Jay has shown them what honor, integrity and commitment look like in his life. In a world where the average life expetency of a youth pastor is 2 years, and youth pastors jump from job to job every couple years and rarely stay long enough to go deep, Jay is the kind of guy that I would want my kids learning from.

I feel very loved!

I am so blessed to have such a great support system in my life. I'm am overwhelmed with emotion right now. I am so Thankful for all the people who have left comments, emailed me, called me and just came over to visit and spend some time with me. I have never felt so loved in all my life.
Brad and Joann, Thank you for all you have done for me!!!! I am honored to be a part of Jeffrey Animal Hospital! Thank you for letting me be a part of you lives!
All I was trying to do with my blog entry was to vent a little. What I received was support, love, and understanding. Thank you EVERYONE for letting me vent and being there for me. I am humbled!!!!!
I love you all!!!! XOXOXOXOXO

My Sister, My Friend

My sister left this comment for me. It really means a lot to me. She knows me just about as well as I know myself. She is such a great friend and sister to me. I don't know what I would do without her. I have been truly blessed by God to be given such a great "older and wiser" sister. Thank you Diane for always being there for me.

Diane's Comment:

First of all, you need to take a mistake & know that it was not only a mistake, but also a life learning experience. Nobody is perfect & makes the right decision all the time. We do what we think is right & if things do not work out the way we wished, we learn from it & do it differently the next time. Nobody can be happy in life if they are not doing what they were intended to do. Some people know right away what that is & for others it takes years. I still can't say without a doubt that Social Work is my destiny. If it isn't, I will take what I learned & try something else.

For as long as I can remeber you wanted to be a nurse but you were afraid you couldn't handle the studies. You settled for something else. At the time you felt that it was the right decision for you, but through the years you have seen that nursing is your real passion. You should NEVER be sorry for what you want to do. This your life, nobody elses. You can't be truely helpful to others, including your husband & children, if you do not take care of yourself first. You need to be happy to express happiness to others. Someone said to me today that you do not get more from God until you are thankful for what you have already gotten. Be thankful for all your experiences in life, good or bad, & know that they were all learning experiences to prepare you for the next step in your life.

There is a country song that I love & one of lines is, Life is about changes, nothing ever stays the same. No matter how much we all wish we had done something differently or wish we could go back & change something. "Everything happens for a reason" Everything makes us stronger for the next step in our lives. You need a change & you are ready for it! Continue to be strong & know that I am always here for you! You deserve the best that life has to offer, don't ever forget that & don't make any more excuses to stop from achieving YOUR dreams. They are your dreams & you deserve them. Did I say that already? You ARE a strong person & you will get through this point in your life. We all, even me, need to stop worrying about the past or the future & cherish & be thankful for what we have in the present. I am supposed to say three things I am thankful for for the next week, so I will do it here. I am thankful for my husband, my sister, & my beautiful children.
Now you try.

Miss Marina

Today is Miss Marina's last day at "Dana's Daycare"! She is starting at a new daycare on Monday. It was a sad day! I will miss her! I will miss the early morning coffee sessions with Kimmy. I hope that Marina will love her new daycare as much as she loved it here. We had some great times!!! 

Makenna is a PIG

How could you not love this face?



After a long and exhausted day. We sat down to have "left overs".. The girls wanted to say the Pledge of Allegiance instead of prayer. Eli told them it was pretty much the same thing because "UNDER GOD" is in it.
Makenna was pretty hungry. Her dinner consisted of grapes, cucumbers, beef stroganoff, 1/2 cheese omelet, chicken noodle soup, and a pizza roll. She made me smile! She was laughing all through dinner. She brightened my day!

Sue

Sue had called me to discuss the upcoming schedule changes at work right after I finished my last blog entry. I ended up having an emotional breakdown. She handled it like a pro. I just have to say that Sue is such a great person and such a great friend. She reminded me about who I need to be going to right now. God has given me the privilege to know so many wonderful people to be embraced by such great friends!!! I have so many issues that I have tucked away and hidden for so long. I just have to give it to God and let him help me work them out! It's just easier said that done. I just want to be happy and be who I am meant to be....Is that too much to ask?

PMS

I was really feeling guilty about going back to school, but now....not so much. I am feeling hurt and angry. I actually thought I would be missed at my job. Which on some level I'm sure I will be slightly, but not for the reasons I want to be missed. Maybe I was looking for someone to talk me out of the whole school thing. Maybe I was looking for some encouragement. Maybe for some guidance. At this moment I feel that I am replaceable, which I guess is fine....I am nothing special. There is probably a ton of people more qualified than I. When it was made public to everyone that I was going to be taking classes in January, nobody seemed all that moved that I was even thinking of leaving or going back to school....if anything, some people just seemed irritated that they had to rearrange the schedule and I was making their lives difficult. I'm sure that was not their intention. But that was the message to me.
I think one mistake I have made in my life is becoming friends with coworkers and employers. It complicated things for me. There has been a lot of damage done through the 10 years I have worked there. I have lost trust in people and in friends. I probably have a lot of fault in that. I have to constantly remind myself that work is work, and my personal life is my personal life, they really shouldn't be mixed. I really try NOT to take things personal. I am a sensitive person, I am well aware of that. It is something that I have that I absolutely despise about myself! I become to involved with people, I ask to many questions, I befriend too many people, I know too much, maybe I trusted too much. I will just try to take it as a learning experience and move on.
I am a complicated person. Sometimes I wonder why anyone puts up with me. I have not been happy with myself so many times in my life. I have made so many horrible mistakes. One thing I do know about myself is that I care, I worry, I love with all my heart, I would do just about anything for anyone if they ever needed me....no questions asked, I AM a good mom (even though I do doubt that from time to time), I am a great friend, I love my family unconditionally, I laugh often, I cry hard, and I wish I could fix everyone's problems, starting with my own. I love to hear all the really bad stuff and all the really great stuff that people have to say, I try to use everything as learning experience, good or bad. I hate confrontation. I am not always true to myself. I try really hard not to hurt anyone's feeling. I tend to think of others before myself. I come off the wrong way at times. If I have wrong someone in someway.....I am usually well aware of it, I may not show it or always say it, but I didn't mean it and I let it eat me up inside. Instead of apologizing I just wallow in it.
I don't think I am perfect. I struggle everyday. I fail often! I can honestly say that I am trying really hard to do what God wants me to do. I might not be doing it right, but I AM trying! I struggle everyday with my attitude and my smart ass remarks and comments. I am an ugly person when I want to be. I am selfish at times. I am unfair at times. I do not forgive with all my heart. I am not proud of myself and my actions very frequently.
This is me.....love me or leave me. Don't play games, don't pretend. If you don't want to talk to me.....DON'T. If you don't like me, fine, I don't care, I'm Ok with it...but don't sit next to me and pretend to be my friend. I can't handle that. I'd rather you just ignore me! I can't be someone I'm not. I am done trying to make everyone happy all the time. Someone will alway hate me or have a problem with me, or be disappointed in me. I can't worry about it anymore, I am me! I might not like who I am and what I am about from time to time, but this is MY own struggle.

*I apologize for this entry. If it offended anyone or if anyone thinks I am a total whack job. I wasn't going to write any of this, because of what people would think, but if I didn't write things like this, I am not being true to myself. The reason why I started this blog was to help me in my life journey. A way to vent at times and just be me without anyone arguing with me. Sometimes I need to voice my opinions without having anyone alter them. These are my own opinions at this moment. If I have to start watching what I write than I might as well stop blogging all together or just make my blog private again. This is my struggle today!

Happy Birthday To The Man I Love!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELI!!!! I hope you have a great day!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

Sunday

Sunday the family headed off to church. Olivia was called up on stage to share what she put in the "the box". From what I hear she did a great job and so did Joe (pastor). She put in Erika's barbie horse.
After church we headed off to Mom and Dads, to pick up what ever was left from the party. We went home and had a "left over" lunch with Diane, Jeff, and the kids. Jeff and Eli watched football all day. Diane and I ran some errands. Eli made a scrumptious meatloaf for dinner. We had the kids in bed at 8:30. I was in bed by 9:00.
I am still in my PJ's, Makenna and Marina are sleeping and Olivia's about to get off the bus. Lazy day!

Eli's Surprise Party

I had a surprise party for Eli on Saturday at my Mom and Dads. It was so fun! I hope everyone had a great time. I am pretty sure that Eli was surprised. Olivia has a little bit of a big mouth (wonder where she get's that from). We had chicken, cheesey potatoes, meatballs, cole slaw and mexican dip. Dave Kurt was kind enough to make jello shots which went over real well, especially with my mom! Bobbie made his famous spinach dip - Yummy!! There were cards, darts, food, drinks, laughter, weird music, and great company! A night to remember!!! Thank you to all that came, and Thank You to everyone that helped me pull it off. We have a wonderful family and great friends!!!
After some people left. We had a final texas hold'em game. It was Mom, Dad, Diane, Jeff, Kimmy, Bobbie, Eli, and I. Right when the cards were delt...."The Gambler" came on by Kenny Rogers. Without anyone saying a word we were all singing in unison.

"You've gotta know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em.
Know when to walk away, know when to run.
You never count your money, when your sittin at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin, when the dealins done."

It was one of those great moments. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELI!!!! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL THAT I HAVE! I HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT NIGHT!

*Eli's birthday is actually on Tuesday.

Pictures from Eli's Birthday Party

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Thank you Dave and Cathie for the pictures.

TO MY FRIENDS

This was in a email I received today and I couldn't help but laugh and think of all my friends!!! 

Erika's Writing Workshop Party

Ms. Price and class

Erika holding Kenna listening to everyone's great stories

Erika's Apple Tree hanging in the hallway at school

Erika read this book to me during snack time

Erika is an exceptional reader. Yes I am bragging about my child. I can't help it! I am so jealous! She loves to read and she just GETS IT! She wants to be an illustrator when she grows up. She is my little book worm! GO ERIKA!!! MOMMY IS SO PROUD!!!

Erika's short story was about going to the Dentist and how much she loved it! It was a great story! Not quite sure why Erika and Olivia like the dentist so much, I guess it's a good thing!

BEFORE (picture taken with Olivia's new camera)


AFTER


Erika and Olivia's new but very used desk

Jeff was given a desk from a guy at work. He didn't need it and was kind enough to think of Eli and I. THANK YOU JEFF!!! I Love my new but slightly used desk! It is great. I have more desktop space and the best part is the matching leather chair. If you notice the chair we use to sit in, it's a child desk chair, it use to be mine when I was a little girl. Whenever anyone would sit in it, it would make a horrible creaking noise. Eli and I were waiting until it just fell apart. So now I can be comfortable! YIPPY!
Thank you Jeff, for thinking of us. Thank you Eli for setting it all up last night, I know you were tired!!!!

 

Trick Or Treating

Jeff

Olivia, Lauren, Ryan, and Erika

The Halloween tractor

In Diane and Jeff's Sub, a bunch of kids get to ride around 2 subdivisions in a big tractor filled with hay. The Dad's walk behind it to make sure nobody falls out. The kids all love the tractor ride, they all wear glow in the dark necklaces so the men can keep track of all of them.

Diane, Makenna, and I sat at the end of the driveway with the fire pit and handed out candy to all the kids, and for the parents...handed out little dixie cups filled with hot damn and butterscotch schnapps. The parents seemed more grateful. Diane and Jeff had a lot of neighbors and they all know each other. It's like a village. It's pretty nice, considering our neighbors don't even know each others names.

Halloween Night

We headed over to Diane and Jeff's to go trick-or-treating!