And the week goes on

This week seemed to go very ssssllllllllllooooooooooowwwwwwwwww.  Was able to have dinner with Cathie, Sue, and Sherry. We didn't get home to midnight. When the four of us get together it is never ending. We are all very similar in how we feel about things. We all just talk and talk and talk. It's wonderful to relate to someone. I wish Sherry wasn't moving to California. I will truly miss her.

Being very tired at work yesterday really sucked. My day just dragged on and on! On the way home I got my hair cut.  Did something a little different than what I'm use to, I needed a little change. I don't think Eli likes it. He is working today, then golfing, then going to Teds to play poker. So I won't see him probably for a couple days. We didn't see much of each other this week because I had to work late a few nights and dinner another night with the girls.Now onto his social life.

I'm watching Lauren today while Diane takes Ryan to the ENT. Hopefully she'll get some answers for him, poor baby. She seems to be struggling a little with Ryan and his attitude and health (ear infections).

I also need to go grocery shopping....dreading. It is going to be HOT today. This summer has been nasty. HOT AND HUMID! Being pregnant makes it that much worse. 

My mom and dad are in Buffalo NY this weekend so we won't be going to see them this weekend at the boat Eli and I have a wedding to go to on Saturday for a girl at my work.

I should get in the shower to get motivated.

29 Weeks

Well now I'm about 29 weeks pregnant. I'm sick, and so is Erika. Both the girls just got out of bed and are eating bologna. I've been up since around 6:00am when Eli left for work. I didn't sleep very well last night. I think I might have fallen back asleep on the couch around 7:30 until just now. Diane wants to have a garage sale on Friday. So my goal is this week is to get some stuff together to sell. Shouldn't be too hard. The baby's room is all set up. Eli and the girls put up the crib last Monday while I took a nap. It was a wonderful surprise. I'm starting to get that anxious, when will this be over, stage of my pregnancy. I'm tired, emotional, and bored. I was very motivated a couple of weeks ago and now I just feel lazy.
Over the weekend Eli and I went to Brad and Joanns. Good food! Beer butt chicken, cheezy potatoes, corn on the cob, and an awesome salad. It was nice to be without the girls for a night. I wish Eli and I could spend more time together alone. Erika spent the night at my Grandmas for the 1st time. Olivia went to Dianes. They said they both had fun. Erika said she missed Olivia though. Which I thought it would be the other way around. Kimmy and I went maternity shopping together Friday night. She's starting to get a little belly! I'm so excited for her.

3rd Trimester

I am now a little over 27 weeks pregnant now. I have officially entered the third trimester! YEAH It's almost over! There are some days that I am kind of sad because this is probably the last time I will ever be pregnant. I'll never have the feeling of the baby moving again, shopping for maternity clothes, getting the room ready, getting a little extra loving attention from Eli. Even though I hate being pregnant, I will miss those things terribly.

My emotions are a little crazy lately. I get upset about almost everything. The girls are irritating me for no reason. I'm snappy. I just want to get out the boxing gloves and beat the shit out of someone.

I went to a farewell dinner for Sherry Haase on Wednesday. It was sad. I will miss her! I think I'm also afraid that are small group will never be the same again. Sherry was kind of the one that tied us all together. She kept the small group going. The meetings we had together have helping me with finding myself and who I want to be as a person. It also let me know that I'm not the only one who is screwing up. Cathie, Sherry, and Sue are honesty and wonderful. It's different than hanging out with your friend you've known for a long time. I can't really explain why.

My small group is a place where I can just let it all out without strings attached, where you're not judged, you don't have to be right or wrong. There was a love and acceptance that I have never felt before with other women. It wasn't fake. I always feel welcome and at home.


I have nothing exciting planned for this weekend. I have to work on Saturday. I want to get a little more done around the house. Try and bond with my girls. Feeling distant.

Eli and I have some bonding to do as well. We haven't been on the same page for a week or two. Some of my words have been harsh lately. I'm trying to figure out why. I have a few things in mind. I've been doing some soul searching. I just hope I'm on the right track!

My sis called me this morning. I was so happy to hear from her!  She's been on vacation. Their coming home tomorrow. I've really missed her this week! I vented about what has happened with my mom this week. She vented about her trip and Ryan. Then she had to go. I could tell that we just really missed each other. It was a good feeling. LOVE HER!

Fourth of July

The weekend was beautiful. The weather was perfect!

After work on  Saturday Eli, the girls and I headed out to mom and dads boat. We went for a boat ride and went to Proberts cottage for a barbeque. Then went to the see some fireworks on the water.  We didn't get home till 3:00am that night.  It's hard to maneuver a boat in the pitch dark with an hour boat ride back to the marina. 

Sunday we went to Brad and Joanns cottage. The kids had a blast! We were there all day and played Texas Hold'em in the evening. 

Monday Kimmy and Bobby came with us back to my parents boat. We hung out on the water all day and had a barbeque at the marina in the evening. Our evening finished with rain on the way drive home.

The girls stayed with my mom and dad because I had to work the next day. Eli picked them up on the way home from work at the boat. I really don't know what exactly was said between the two of them, but I'm getting two different sides of the story. All I know, either way you look at it, somehow, I'm the bad guy! Go figure.  My mom wanted to keep the girls, she said Eli made her feel horrible and now I am to blame. I just love it!

I know my mother loves Erika and Olivia.  I just cannot call her and have a "normal" mother/daughter conversation with her. Then she says I only call her when I need her to babysit.  Such bullshit! I can't call the woman! She never wants to talk to me. Somehow I feel like a horrible person when I get off the phone. She takes everything I've ever done wrong in my life and loves to rub it in my face. It's like she kept track of every wrong and forgot about anything wonderful that I was ever proud of. Have I not done anything to make her proud?! To make her feel like 'WOW, I have a great daughter.'  I guess I'm just one big huge disappointment. I feel I will never make her happy.

Wished the end of the weekend was as great as the beginning....

Thank God for Fridays

It's Friday. Fourth of July weekend! YEAH! Totally sucks that I have to work tomorrow.

My house is a big mess and so are all the beautiful weeds growing in my yard. I'm not really sure what to start with.  I don't have any strength or energy to do all the things I want to do and it's kind of frustrating.

Today is Diane's 31st birthday.  The family is going to her house tonight for a barbeque. Sunday we are heading over to Brad and Joanns cottage for some fun on the lake.  Monday to my Mom and Dads boat for another day on the lake.

The weather is suppose to be beautiful! I need a good weekend with Eli and the kids. To get away from this house and just have fun. I hope Eli is getting off work early today. I love long weekends with him. I'm trying to have a good attitude going into the weekend. The girls deserve it.

Well I'm going to do some Yoga - maybe I will feel better and I can get more motivated.