WHEW

Anxiety attack? I almost had one. I called my academic adviser regarding my meeting I have to have with her so she can sign off on my portfolio for the nursing program, she told me to bring my waiver for my microbiology. Waiver? What waiver? It was something the director of the program told me over the phone. So all week I have been trying to get a hold of the person I actually talked to last June that said that they would waive it. I almost didn't get it because I took my micro 11 years ago instead of 8 and I got a C (yes a C), but that was the semester Eli and I were married and we had a miscarriage, and I was taking 14 credits and working 50+ hours a week, it was a rough couple of months. After 5 days of phone calls and emails, I finally have the waiver in my hot little hands. I literally sat and stared at my inbox until it came. The only reason why this lady decided to actually give it to me is because of my current 3.89 GPA and my lab tech experience.
The other obstacle I dealt with last week was my physiology teacher (she actually used the terms, "I'm sorry, I must have had a brain fart") gave me the wrong grade and I have been on the phone with her, the registrars office, and the science department. All I have to l say right now is do not stand in the way of my dream, I am bound and determined and I am on top of this. I have worked too hard for someone to make a simple mistake and risk me having to wait another year for this.
I am also trying to apply for a few scholarships, one application is due by next week and the other I can apply once I get the acceptance letter. A little money could help right about now......

Update on the job situation

This week has been crazy. I am going on my 4th day of work. On Tuesday after training in cardio, I was hired in as a relieve technician for Dr. Brown. So it is official, I now am employed by 3 places and I have picked up a few more shifts. Cardio was great and I am trying to read and study and research different cardiac diseases, so I seem like I know what I am talking about. Today AEC was kind enough to get an animal from Last Chance Rescue to spay/neuter and Dr. Robertson is having someone show me how to put in a central line while the animal is fully anesthetized of course. I am learning so much and so excited but honestly exhausted. Last week my solo shift was absolutely crazy, I had 5 hospitalized animals and a surgery. I don't know how I made it through the day but was told by the doctor at the end of the shift...."You rock and I will play will you anyday". Dr Robertson walked in in the midst of all the chaos and told me that I was a hot topic during the doctors meeting and they want to see me on the schedule more. HEE HEE.

Yesterday (at Jeffreys) I found out that one of our technicians threw out her back and will probably be out for a while and another technician is pregnant. So until Kimmy comes back from maternity leave it will be crazy there and the doctors sometimes get, let say "stressed". So life at Jeffreys will be crazy next couple of weeks.

This Saturday I am working from 9 am to Midnight between Jeffreys and AEC and Saturday nights are usually pretty busy, and I will probably start running out of steam by 9. I will be drinking lots of coffee.

So I am off to put in a central line and I can't wait to go out tonight with some friends for some dinner, some laughs, and some wine....

Eli, thank you for your support, dinners waiting for me in the micro, dishes that were done, reading to the girls when you knew I was too tired, and your love. I know Eli is just as tired as me with his 50+ work weeks but is trying to help the best he can. My mother is an angel and has been babysitting for me more than she deserves and is supporting me and cheering me on, I couldn't be doing this without her.

Nothing worth having comes without a fight

Our family routine started back yesterday, minus 14 credits and hours of studying. This may sound stupid but I am bored. Yes, I am a mom and work 2 jobs and I have laundry to do and a house to clean. The other night was the first night I tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep for a long time, it was like I was wide awake, ready for something to happen.
Cathie and I had a great lunch date last Sunday and talked about adventure. I need some. I have wants, I have goals, desires,doesn't everybody?
Cathie called me this morning and told me to listen to a teaching that Donald Miller gave at Mars Hill, about our life being a story and how incredibility powerful stories are in our lives. He went on to say that in order to have a story be meaningful, in order to have a human life be meaningful, you need a lead character, you need a group of people, and you need conflict and fears. The best part was when he said

"If there aren't hard times, your story won't make sense. If there aren't hard times, the character can not change. The only thing that really changes us is the hard times. Joy doesn't change us at all. We all want joy, but joy does not change us, it does not shape us, it does not transform us. Every story needs conflict or the story doesn't work. Every story needs resolution, it has to have to ending or has to be resolved or the story will leave us feeling empty."

I want a great story, I want to be transformed. There have been many times that I have felt like a victim to conflict, so many times I feared conflict but wanted my voice heard and of coarse I still have my moments of weakness and will for some time to come. I shouldn't fear it, I should deal with it....head on with an optimistic CALM attitude. Welcome it with open arms, consider it a gift to help me change or grow. I want an adventure, and I want to be a better person. I say to myself I want to face it, that I am rearing to go. Then when I have the opportunity, there are times I have regretfully run the other way.
AEC called me yesterday and asked me if I could cover and would feel comfortable filling a shift alone. That means just me and the doctor. Yes I do it everyday that I work at Jeffrey but that is a little different, Jeffrey's is a sense of home, where my comfort lies, where my confidence is. AEC there are different doctors, system, people, protocol....different everything, and all alone, I have only worked about 6 days and there are machines there I have never used alone without someone assisting me or making sure I didn't kill an animal. My immediate reaction was hell ya bring it on. Then I felt sick to my stomach. I am honored that they thought I was capable enough, but scared to let anyone down. Then today, I get a message from AEC, the technician in charge of cardiology, is going on vacation and wanted to know if I would be willing to train and work in cardiology hand in hand with Dr Brown (gulp). It took me about 2 hours and a little encouragement from my Mom, Eli, and Cathie and I called back and said yes. So next week I am going to be training for that. First of all I need to explain.....I hate the cardiovascular system and in the veterinary field Dr Brown is one of the best in Michigan. It is nerve racking for me, it is probably my biggest weakness when it comes to anatomy and physiology, not sure why, but it haunting to me. Now that it is said and done and it is written in my calender I am so excited and anxious and honored. I will accept this as a gift, a complement, a fear facing experience. I can learn from this, I can grow from this and be a better technician, a better nurse.
So yes I feel like I am starting a new story in the employment aspect of my life but I desire to have story that completes me in my home life, my life with my family, my life within myself. I wonder sometimes if people can see how terrified I am in the inside, sometimes with the simplest of decisions. I am good at faking how strong I am, I even fool myself occasionally.
I want my girls to learn that they are capable of anything. That they will be strong individuals, strong women, unafraid of the obstacles life has to offer. I want to set examples for them. I don't want them to be victims or fall short of their full potential. I want them to be proud of who they are. My motto I have really tried to live by lately is "if you don't learn from your mistakes it was a waste of time."
For quite some time I have second guessed my abilities, my intelligence, my strengths, my weaknesses, my capabilities, my sense of who I am, the goodness that I have in my heart. I can't really know for sure when it got so bad but it needs to stop. I am on my journey and I am going to take the long scenic route so I enjoy it that much more when I get there.

Don't drop the fruit snacks

Makenna was spent. She was still up at 2 am waiting for some people to finish playing pai gow. Nana had put them in Kenna's coat pocket for her to have the next day, of coarse Makenna opened them as soon as she was in the car but fell asleep after the first one (before we were out of the sub), but had the death grip on them.

New Years Eve

New Years Eve day Nana took the girls (Diane, Lauren, Erika, Olivia, and I) out for a movie day to see Enchanted. It was a very cute movie and Patrick Dempsey is always easy on the eyes, it was one of the better girly kids flicks.

I think Eli and I have spent every New Years Eve with Diane and Jeff since 1997. Usually my parents are up north or at other parties, this year they decided to hang with the family, so we all headed over to my parents since their basement if fully equip. Kimmy and Bobbie and my brothers friend Mike joined in and we had enough food to feed an army. The kids had a great time and the basement looked like a bar - casino - romper room. It was fun for all, except of course when the kids became a little over tired.

The texas hold'em game. My Mom took most of Eli's chips and took Diane out but the big winner was Dave. Later in the night after most of the kids (not Kenna) were sleeping along with Diane and I, they also played pia gow. There were also many games of pool and some darts.

Makenna and Marina sat in the pool chairs with their drinks (ice water) watching Ryan play pool. Giggling and talking, I think Kimmy and I are in trouble.

You can see all the pictures here.

New Years 2008

Happy Birthday Erika

Erika turned 8 on Sunday. I can't believe it. Erika, Eli, and I sat together and went through her baby book. Wow, how children change and how parents change. Erika wanted to know why my hair was so short. I told her it was the "Mommy Do".

The Meadors and the Schultz's, minus Makenna who hung out with Nana and Papa, headed to the movies and saw Alvin and the Chipmunks. The kids enjoyed it. We had pizza over at my parents afterwards.

You can see the rest of the pictures here.

Erika's 8th Birthday 2007

Makenna's babies

This is India and Lamb, also know as "Nnnnnda and Yam". She love these little ones and she has adopted them as her own. It is not fun when Mommy and Daddy can't find them when it is bedtime.

Gratzi

Happy Birthday to my Mommy! We went down to Ann Arbor and went to one of my Mom's favorite restaurants, Gratzi's, then to the Comedy Showcase, then to a some Martini bar that I can't remember the name of. The rule was to order a Martini that you never had before. Diane wanted to order one called "salty balls" for Jeff, but for some reason he didn't want that one...hmmmm.

Dave played a song on the piano for all of us and during the evening he actually smiled more than once...

At the Martini bar, we went around the table one by one and talked about our favorite memories. The night was perfect. It was the first night in over 8 years that we sat together as adults, as friends and was able to enjoy each others company fully without being interrupted by little ones. It was a night I will remember forever! I love my family, we are just a quirky as most families, but it just felt like home!


You can see all the rest of the pictures here.

Mom Birthday 2007

Our Christmas

Christmas Eve my parents, Dave, and Kevin came over to our house and we had a great night. The girls opened their traditional Christmas Eve p.j.'s (a tradition my Mom started when I was little). Nana and Papa gave them all new soft blankets to sleep with, in hopes that Olivia would throw out her nasty holey green one. The girls and I put out reindeer food for Rudolf and the gang. Eli and I were up until about 2 o'clock finishing up the wrapping and cleaning up from dinner. Someone forgot to bake cookies/buy cookies so Santa was surprised with milk, ham, and frito's, Titus happily took care of that when we went to bed, because Santa forgot to eat the scrumptious buffet. The girls were up and ready to go about 8 and we were at my Mom and Dad's by 12:30.
It is so awesome watching Christmas through the eyes of a child. Especially a 2 year old. Makenna was so excited this year. She was patient and so excited. She really enjoyed herself. Erika and Olivia were also such good girls this year, they were so happy and so thankful. Christmas morning was calm and relaxing, it was so nice just to be in the present with my family watching the interact with each other and enjoy each other. They were sharing and completely pleasant. It made all the stress and chaos completely worth it. I couldn't have had a better morning.

Makenna, Papa, and I were feeling under the weather but that didn't stop us from enjoying the day. Papa read the Little Mermaid (her favorite book) to Makenna to keep her from tearing open all the gifts waiting for the rest of the family to arrive. Kenna loved snuggling with Papa.

My Mom is the queen of Christmas and tends to spoil everyone. She was still wrapping when we arrived. She loves to give gifts and enjoys watching EVERY SINGLE GIFT be opened one by one. It is hard to keep 5 little ones patient enough to go through this process, but they all did a great job, we had to take a few breaks with family coming and going through the day.

Great Grandma, Aunt Marion, and Guy trucked out to Brighton and Kimmy, Bobbie, Marina, and Sophia also joined in the fun.



Click here to see the rest of the pictures

Christmas 2007