Proverbs 31 Ministries

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands" Proverbs 14:1

My cousin from Tennessee had sent me a link to a womans daily devotional to subscribe to about a year ago. I get a daily devotional sent to me every morning Monday through Friday. At first I read them and tried to reflect on them the best I could. After a little while I just read them and deleted them, then I stopped reading them all together. The past couple of weeks, I've really been trying to read them again. Todays devotional really home for me, not only in regards to my marriage, but in the way I am with the girls as well.
There have been many instances that I blamed Eli or the girls for my behavior and for the reasons I reacted to a situation or the way I felt. I expected them to change. Stomped my foot and acted like that little girl I once was and say "Well he/she did it first" or "I did this because they did that".
I have really been trying to go about my marriage and my parenting skills a different way. I tell myself to take a deep breath and bite my tongue before some horrible damaging words flow out of my mouth. I pray for patience, understanding, and strength everyday, sometimes 100 times a day. It is frustrating and so hard to change, even when I am well aware of how capable I am of hurting someone I love. Self control is a huge struggle for me and is probably the first characteristic I would change about myself. I can be self absorbed at times and so often I look back at how I have acted and an enormous amount of guilt takes over. I go to bed saying tomorrow will be different, and first thing in the morning I find myself getting pissed off when the girls aren't listening. Instead of letting it go, I dwell on it, and I let it set my mood.
I am a work in progress.