Living The Moments That Can't Be Put Into Words!

Yeah....KEEP RUNNING

2011-02-16T10:49:00.000-05:00

We try to have a family dinner as much as possible. Lately the youngest is pulling the 'I don't like this' and 'I don't like that' (food that she has always eaten and liked). She also kicks her chair incessantly, pounds on the table and sings really loud through most of the meal.

It is difficult to hear about what's going on in the lives of the other two when she is constantly screaming for attention. When in reality she does get the most attention and the other two always feel that I'm not giving them enough.

Anyways, usually I'm steady and I can handle what she has been throwing at me except for a couple days ago. I let my horrible day and my back pain take over and get the best of me.

There were the glances back and forth between Eli and I. I felt like my glances to him was pretty clear. 'I'm about to lose it' or 'HELP' apparently it didn't come out clear. After saying calmly to the youngest 'please stop, that's enough' over and over again....

UGH Here it comes.....

JUMPING OUT OF MY CHAIR ~ "OMG SHUT UP....I can't take it anymore!!!! BLAH BLAH BLAH" ~ADULT TEMPER-TANTRUM~ (I'd tell you word for word but I honestly can't remember what was even spewing out of my mouth)

There may have even been a curse word or two in there I don't quite remember, it happened so fast.

~Sigh~

After I removed myself away from the table and the family, Eli came to check on me and started laughing... seriously laughing. Then there was a serious face and a "how are you doing, that was pretty rough. Dana you scared the living shit out of everyone and the girls and I practically jumped out of our chairs."

Eli told me that my unforgettable unexpected scene that I made reminded him of Lucy (Drew Barrymore) screaming "YEAH...KEEP RUNNING" at the end of this scene in 50 first dates.... then he started laughing again... while I'm choking back the tears.

We talked it out and I apologized profusely to the girls and put the trouble maker to bed without a book (ouch). I know I should've just removed her from the table and talked to her separately before I completely lost it. I just really wanted to just sit and have a nice family dinner. I want to be able to sit and talk to the girls during dinner. Is that really too much to ask?

Well it didn't quite work out that way did it?

So when my girls are in therapy...that whole scene will be brought up and talked about I'm sure. Way to go MOMMY DEAREST.

A must see story! BEAUTIFUL and touching!

2011-01-07T14:52:00.000-05:00

This story is so absolutely heartbreaking and wonderful all wrapped up in one! TEARS and absolute awe!

The Rhema Marvanne story

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-22T14:09:00.001-05:00

These little ones are ADORABLE! Merry Christmas everyone!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

2010 Is Coming To An End

2010-12-14T19:27:00.000-05:00

This year was one of the toughest years of my life. Totally trumping the first year of marriage ;) We survived many struggles this year ~ nursing school, a spinal fusion, loosing our house, bankruptcy and a few others. We survived it together and we made it through in one piece! There is life after debt. We are living proof.

My family and I are leaving the past behind and we are not looking back. What's done is done. I'm not ashamed. I am extremely humbled. Keeping my eyes on the recovering road ahead and looking forward to a hopefully tame new year.

I am thankful that 2010 is almost over. I'm not going to dwell on what happened. I am grateful for the experience...but that doesn't mean I would ever want to do it again nor would I recommend it to anyone.

2010 has brought me to a better understanding of who I really am, how strong I thought I was and how strong I really am. I have learned what marriage is all about and how resilient my 3 beautiful girls are. Talk about unconditional love.

God gave us a time out which in turn gave us time to find ourselves and each other after almost 4 very busy years of prerequisites and nursing school. My husband and I are better friends and we are becoming better parents. We are now a stronger family and have too many blessings to count!

BRING ON 2011 :)

Zeitgeist 2010: Year in Review

New Doors of Happiness

2010-11-30T12:35:00.000-05:00

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." ~ Helen Keller

One of many doors is officially slammed shut and I am trying really hard not to stand there like an ass and stare at it like I can change what just happened. It's time to finally accept that and move on to the next door. Just because the door shut doesn't mean the memories and the happiness needs to fade.

New door, new memories, new attitude, new outlook. Time for change.

I do not want to be lost in limbo. I don't want to become some shell of a once happy person. I am ready to admit that it wouldn't take much to push me over the edge. Defense in gear and walls are up. I am in the 'don't f#$& with me' mode. I am finding myself secluded in my own little mental mess and I don't want anyone looking in and analyzing it.

Everyone has a room, a closet, a basement or even a drawer that they keep to themselves and don't want anyone finding or seeing how unorganized or cluttered it is OR God forbid what is actually in the drawer!

Just because I let you get a glimpse of my mess does NOT mean I asked you to help me fix it nor did I ask for your pity. Who really wants pity? I guess there may be some people who do, some that may even thrive on it. I don't understand how. The thought of it makes me run the other direction.

Venting about a problem and asking for help with that problem are two different things. I am not one of those people who accept handouts with grace, I don't like to accept handouts at all. Maybe it's the feeling of pity, maybe it's my stubbornness, maybe it's the thought of letting my guard down and looking weak, maybe I feel like I don't even deserve it sometimes.

I know how frustrating it is when people I love won't accept help, especially when I know they need it. I accept 'no', as hard as it is sometimes. Sometimes you just have to allow people to fall on their ass. You can't cushion every fall, as painful as it can be to watch sometimes. I don't push, even with my children....they need to fall, everyone does...safely. I give space for failure, I give space for mistakes. Is that wrong?

I do know that when I say NO, I mean it. I don't say 'no' to just be nice because I don't want to put you out, I REALLY MEAN NO! I try to give people this same respect. If someone insists or keeps pushing me, I start to get pissed and the whole shutting down and shutting out process starts happening. It's all about control. I get it. Doesn't mean I'm going to change.

Eli took a long weekend after 3 double shifts. He went back to work this morning. Other then Thanksgiving day, we didn't let anyone into our world. We had no plans, no obligations. Eli just knew. He knew I needed a social hiatus and that I was on the verge of loosing complete control. He did not push me. He let me be quiet. He let me be angry. He let me be sad. He let me grieve. Every time I started to fall, he was right there. Every time I needed to walk away from the girls, he stepped in. When I wanted to talk, he listened. He didn't try to analyze it. He was my needed comic relief as well as scaring me silly late one night (you'd think I'd be used to his pranks).

Eli is the only one close to me that truly understands the depth of crap because he's standing in most of it with me. He knows my past, present and glimpse of a future. Eli sees that next door of happiness. He has for a long time, I truly believe that, but he knew I had to see it on my own. He has always been patient that way. As much as he wanted to jump up and down screaming, "look, look, don't you see it? It's right there!", he didn't. He just let me be!

I know I am frustrating. I know I look like I'm ignoring people, shutting people out, antisocial and that I'm angry at the world. I don't care. I needed this. I needed the silence. There is nothing that will undo what is already done.

What I wouldn't give right now to be standing there on that balcony with that view....

My hand is on the doorknob.

Trick or Treat

2010-11-04T13:17:00.003-04:00

Our new house doesn't have a subdivision (being on a main road) and we were up in the air on whether or not to trick-or-treat at the old house. The Coulters invited us to trick-or-treat with them and the Swiders. We decided it would be best to be around friends.....and we had a blast :)

They live it a HUGE subdivision in Livonia and for the first time Makenna made it all the way to the bitter end, filled with energy and sugar, (thank God for the wagon). Cathie left candy on her porch and all 6 adults and 7 children headed out roaming the streets in Livonia. Matt and his friends hung back, went to a few houses and then passed out candy.
It was nice being only 1 subdivision away from where I grew up and brought back some old memories...

Some houses in their sub were all decked out to 'scare' the kids. Makenna LOVED IT, cautious at the first scare but then was chasing those dressed up ghouls and giving them knuckles....asking them how old they were and if they were married and had children. It was so great watching her. She kept wanting to go back to the really scary house that none of the other girls would even walk by so she could say 'Hi' to her new friends.

It was one of the funnest Halloweens I think we have ever had as a family!

The rest of the Halloween Pictures are HERE.......

Halloween 2010

Olivia is 9!!!

2010-11-04T12:50:00.000-04:00

Olivia did get her BIG FAT CHAP-STICK'S that she asked for!

Olivia is 9, last year in the single digits! Well that went by fast... Somehow her birthday always gets mumble jumbled into Halloween, like it did again this year. Her teacher didn't remember to celebrate her birthday with the class or write her name up on the board as the birthday girl because it fell on the same day as the Halloween party at school and we all know how distraction happens. She didn't get to pass out her birthday treats to her new classmates and she was so bummed! She came home so sad because only 3 people wished her a Happy Birthday at school. UGH, I hate as a mother watching the whole disappointment thing happen.

That night we went out to dinner....just our family, to a new little restaurant in downtown Wixom and played Mario Cart in the evening. We decided, well I guess I decided... that we were going to have a big bash for her birthday! :) It was a last minute thing that I actually decided the day before her birthday. So on Devils Night we had 14 kids and 14 adults fill this house with laughter and LOVE :) I absolutely love having all of our friends and family under one roof! I can't believe how much we all reproduced over the years!!!

Saturday Olivia was super excited about people coming over to see HER! She even helped Eli and I get the house ready for everyone to come over and put together party favors for all her friends. So she did get to pass out her treats...but it was to all her close friends. Watching her gather together, count, recount and make sure that nobody was left out made me smile. That's my Olivi-tree! She is so observant of others and their feelings. Olivia wants everyone to have fun and no one ever to be left out....except when there's sibling rivalry of course.

Thank you to all who made Olivia feel extra special on her Birthday! We love you all!!!

The rest of the pictures of the party is HERE....

Olivia's 9th Birthday

Come Monday, It'll Be All Right!

2010-10-25T11:24:00.001-04:00

Every Monday on facebook and twitter everyone seems to complain about Monday mornings. I have always worked Saturday and/or Sundays the majority of my adult life, so Mondays have always been just another day. I have never had a Monday-thru-Friday work week, with weekends off. When I was in school I may have disliked Monday mornings because there was always something due or there was some kind of test or quiz, but again...just another day of the week.
Being off on my medical hiatus, Monday mornings to me now is the day that Eli goes back to work and all 3 girls are in school.....ALL day. Today, I don't have ANY appointment, physical therapy or errand I have to run. It's quiet, I have control of remote and I'm watching Ellen. My house is mostly clean, the laundry is under control and I'm trying to behave until I get the results from the MRI/CT scan that I have to have done on Wednesday.
No, our move still isn't complete...but now that my mail is finally being forwarded to our new house and all that is left to move is too heavy for me to carry, I am staying far away. There is no reason for me to go there alone to cry and ruin my day.
The rest of the week is busy with appointments. Olivia's 9th birthday is on Friday, Halloween school parties...blah blah. Why do I feel guilty that I'm sitting here enjoying 'me' time? There are things that I 'could' do but when I get going....I end up doing things I shouldn't do.
I need to update my BLS card. I've been thinking about looking into alternative nursing jobs that do not interest me and does not require full use of my back. Thinkin maybe more school?? There is obviously some plan for me but I can't quite put my finger on it. I may need to change my future that I wanted up a bit. I think that if I prepare myself for the possibility of having permanent restrictions and it doesn't end up happening, I will be better off. I need something to fall back on...something to focus on right now.
One thing I do know is that I'm changing the channel because having to listen to Kathie Lee Gifford is not gratifying.

La La La

2010-10-19T17:14:00.002-04:00

'La La La' is a joke between Eli and I. It is mostly used when we are hinting to each other that we are just done with the conversation, done trying to explain it, done talking about a a certain topic or done arguing about it....just ~ DONE ~. Yeah, it's kinda where I'm at right now, but I'm pretty sure Eli's on board, standing with me this time.

Most of you know that we are moving, well technically we have moved but have crap here there and everywhere. We are not exactly completely out of the Brighton house, but it is almost complete. I am awaiting that day so I can have my full blown meltdown and THEN I can finally get on with life and put this behind us. I would be sad moving even if it was a choice that we made. Saying goodbye to a chapter that has impacted you in your life is usually hard. Unfortunately this was a choice that we have been forced into or I guess, in a way, you could say we fell into..... really hard, which makes it that much more difficult to say goodbye to what we once called home. Thank God for my spectacular memories. Sifting through the proof of memories has been heart-wrenching. Deciding what goes where, what gets thrown out and what comes with us has been really tough. Setting fire to and BURNING some of that proof of the bad memories in our new fire-pit has been very therapeutic!

Eli, the girls and I had a 'family fire' a couple weekends ago and it gave me some peace in my heart. We talked to the girls about life, asked them questions about how they feel, we laughed, and there were some tears but it was wonderful! We played 'we're going on a trip' and Makenna owned it, Eli and I were shocked! We had a great night together!

We're going on a trip and we are going to bring:
Apples, Bananas, Carrots, Dog, Elephant, Fergie, Gorilla, Happy Horse, Igloo, Jillian, Koala, Leopard, Makenna, Nana, Ostrich, Pepperoni, Quilt, Rhinoceros, Slippery Snake, Tent, Unicorn, Velveteen rabbit, Whistle, Xylophone, Yo-yo, Zebra.

The 4 acres and farmhouse that we now call home, has already brought us some pretty great, new and improved memories ~ unforgettable, laughing until your side hurt memories! We had our first fire, Makenna had her first official friend sleepover and we celebrated Makenna's 5th birthday and Papa's birthday.

Pictures off all the fun are HERE in our online albums.

HERE are some pictures of the house before we started moving in. We've been working hard and the girls are helping, loving it most of the time, arguing some of the time. The girls started a new school and they couldn't be happier! I love the school system, I love that the bus stop is at the end of the driveway and I can sit on my BIG porch watching them and waving as they get on and off the bus. WE love the yard and MOST of the critters. Not so much the spiders and the stray cat that is crapping and pissing on the driveway and bushes....but the great definitely outweighs the stupid little things.

Fresh Start

Back to School 2010

Changing the subject a bit, my back progression has taken a turn in the wrong direction, having some new and strange sensations, increased pain along with continued swelling in my legs and feet is beginning to piss me off a bit. Being 34 years old and on Lasix is a little abnormal but I'm rolling with it to be more comfortable. I am having a CT scan and a repeat MRI next week to check the hardware position, fusion progression and/or possible rupture/herniation of another level. The doctor has discontinued physical therapy until we get the results and see the surgeon again in 2 weeks. So LALALALALA.... is all I have left to say about that.

All in all we're hanging in there together as a family. Taking it day by day. What else can we do?

Girls Weekend Away

2010-10-09T12:01:00.000-04:00

I went away for a girls only get-away last weekend. I haven't left my family behind since Makenna was a baby. Cathie kidnapped Jen and I and we headed away from the chaos of what we call everyday life. The adventure started from the moment Cathie picked me up till the moment she dropped me off at home late Sunday night.

It thunder-stormed most of the way up there, especially towards the end. The lightning shows were beautiful yet creepy at the same time. It was so dark and we were in the middle of nowhere. Reminded me of a few scary movies. We drove for miles without seeing another car, lights or signs of civilization as it poured down. We only saw what was around us when the lightning decided to show us.

All night long from the wind and the rain we could hear acorns dropping on the roof of the cabin. It sounded more like someone was dumping them down at times and was a little creepy at first but falling asleep with the noise of nature was not hard to do after a nightly session of girl talk.

Saturday morning we woke up and chatted while drinking lots of coffee, eating lots of chocolate, and an entire entenmann's coffee cheese cake and lounged. We headed out for the day, getting lost a few times throughout the day (well maybe most of the whole weekend), which made the weekend that much more perfect. We went to the sand dunes, Lake Michigan, Fox Barn Winery and had the best bar food ever, along with a great big shot of nasty tequila (seriously must have been El Toro...blech, yes I'm a snobby tequila drinker), celebrating Jen's 40th birthday.

The weather was a perfect gift that was greatly received and enjoyed all weekend long!

I love the autumn colors in Michigan. The clouds were soft and white and the sky could not have been any bluer. I got a little lost in the scenery and taking pictures! I took tons of them to the point where my camera card was full. I didn't want to miss anything.

I was barefoot and happy! The sand was so warm at the beach but so cold at the dunes. The lake Michigan water was crisp, clear and as blue as the sky. I loved sharing these moments with some pretty special women!

This was my first trip to a winery (sad, but true). Very cute, small, off season and perfect. We bought some asparagus guacamole, pickled jalapeño asparagus, cherry garlic spread, cherry salsa and cheese. Which all made for a yummy breakfast Sunday morning, random.....but completely yummy :)

We had no expectations, we relaxed, we talked, and we celebrated. No movies, no books, no children, no yelling, no arguing and no have to's. We were lost, we laughed, we sang, we walked, we talked, we enjoyed silence (which didn't happen all that often) AND OH DEAR GOD WE ATE! We even changed Jen from a vegan back to a vegetarian!

It was a great getaway. I went by so fast. I missed my family but my weekend away was enjoyed to the fullest and I came back refreshed. It was great to forget about responsibilities for a couple days.

Thank you Cathie for kidnapping me, thank you Jen for a new friendship, much thank you to Will's Mom for loaning us the cabin in the woods to de-stress. Most of all, thank you Eli for taking over so I could relax and enjoy my weekend away with no worries!!!

All the rest of the pictures are HERE. Or you can click on the album...

Girls Weekend 2010

Uncharted Territory

2010-09-28T16:45:00.002-04:00

Don't waste a moment regretting past mistakes or wishing it were otherwise. Ask yourself how you would like it to be now, and invest your energy in building the life you believe in. Then your life will reflect your choices, not your fears.

There is nothing permanent except change. This is something I say to myself daily when I wake up to face another day in our adventure of uncharted territory.

I am trying to remember when or if I had ever had consistency in my life. Does anyone ever really have it? I always welcomed change because change and procrastination kept me and my adrenalin moving along. By the time I actually have time to sit and think about what just happened, it was already over and I was already onto the next and it didn't really matter anymore. Keep truckin, move along, lets go, hurry up, almost there.... and then all of a sudden, it's over, it's passed so fast I didn't even know how or what really happened.

To be completely honest, I feel uneasy and squirmy during calm, quiet, stand-still, limbo moments. Eli has always said that if I was under questioning for some sort of crime, I would crack and confess every detail because I can't just sit still and deal with the silence. He gets a kick out of it and he uses this to his advantage quite frequently. Awkward silence is even worse, it's the worst type of torture imaginable! I would pick chaos, arguing and noise over silence any day. There are even times I would rather be with my worst enemy than be sitting alone in complete silence.

If there is any type of normal, I have no idea what 'normal' is. Everything in my life had to be fast paced or chaotic. I kept it that way, guilty as charged! One of my biggest pet peeves are people who either cannot multi-task or refuse to multi-task. It drives me absolutely crazy to watch people move slow like snails and/or can't do two things at once. This is a horrible quality that I have and I am completely aware of it. Not such a great quality to have being a mother and a wife. I'm not sure if it was a learned quality or if I was just born without patience. I think I have somehow just been trained to never stop and smell the roses. If it takes too long for someone to do something, it's like.....JEEEZZZEEEE already, I'll just do it myself. Erika and Eli like to take their time and they think it all the way through and take it all in before they act or speak and it drives me absolutely batty.....jealous at times, but completely batty. Now Olivia and Makenna, and I on the other hand are here, there and everywhere, go go go. Random, loud, un-focused at times and moving so fast that we sometimes run into walls. Family dynamics are always an adventure...

I thought after marriage, after our first house, after children, after college graduation (for the second time), after passing my boards, after proving myself to God knows who, after surgery, after recovery I would/could finally see and accept normal. To maybe accept calm and contentment, but I was so wrong. Life is still changing so fast that I think my head is spinning a little bit. I thought during recovery from surgery I would be forced to be still and I would become comfortable with it. I would learn some patience and learn to love it. Well....I still haven't recovered and I still am NOT comfortable with it. Instead I learned how much I hate it and I was forced to see all the things I didn't want to. What I have found is that in order to be still you have to take it ALL in....SLOWLY, you need to own your faults, mistakes and problems. All the mistakes that have been made, all the lies that have been told, all the wrong that you wished you've done right, all the times that were overlooked when they should have been enjoyed, all the thank you's that should have been said instead of blame, all the could have, should have, and would have's are up close and personal!

I really am not trying to dwell on the past. I am trying to live up to my famous words of encouragement I have always told myself "If it didn't teach you something, it was a waste of time". Mistakes are meant to be made, right? It is what is suppose to define us, move us, changes us for better or worse.

My anal retentive self is noticing all the t's that I have left uncrossed and the i's that I have left un-dotted. I am not working or going to school and feel like I have failed. I miss work, I miss school, I miss being a part of society, I miss so many things that I didn't think I would. My children are in school during the day and I have moments of silence. ALONE time, is something that I thought I always wanted. ALONE time is something I have NO idea how to do!! My mind starts racing and I find myself uncomfortable in my own skin.

Sitting still in silence, realizing and actually feel the sadness and anger that I feel about certain things is really shitty! Things tucked away for many many years are brought to the surface. To realize where our family is right now and follow the time-line from there to here sucks. What sucks even worse is to think about what kind of pain or hurt that I may have inflicted on someone I care about because of a result of my own actions. All the times I was too busy for my husband, children, family, or friends comes to mind too frequently. To come to terms with something that was done to me or that I have done to someone else is even more difficult than I could have ever imagined.

I know physical pain, I own it, I live it, it has been a constant in my everyday life for over 2 years. Emotional pain is just as hard, if not harder, to deal with. To come face to face with it, stare eye to eye with it and see it for what it really is, I can honestly say, is probably the hardest element of it all. I used to think that the acknowledgment of wrongs, mistakes, or hurt was the difficult part, but it's not. The 'ignoring', 'never dealing with', 'coming to terms with', 'letting go of', or actual 'FORGIVENESS' of those wrongs, mistakes or hurts is what is truly the hard part. For so long, I made 'covering things up' a masterpiece. I made 'ignoring' a work of art.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about...."

"Do we really need to talk about this now?"
"That's OK."
"I'm fine."
"It's no big deal."
"It doesn't really bother me."
"I'm too tired to talk about it right now."
"Really it's fine....."
"Tomorrow...."
"I'll call you back later."

These have been my words to live by for quite sometime or maybe I just didn't answer the phone. I am one of those people who do not want to accidentally hurt someones feelings and I don't like to 'rock the boat'. I would rather hear all about your problems than deal with my own. Either I will feel less alone or my life won't seem all that bad after all.

Well damn it, yes I'm pissed, yes I'm hurt, yes this sucks, yes it could have been different....BUT it's not different! There, I said it. Everything is still the same. I'm not hiding. It's time to grow up, stop pretending it will all go away on its own and face it! So now that we're finally clear on that lets try and make it better!

"IT IS WHAT IT IS!" ~ I HATE this saying. It is actually like nails on the chalkboard for me and I honestly feel like I could punch that person in the face when they say it. There is always something that can be done to make things a little better, a little easier! Something to break the fall. Whether it be a smile, a note, a touch, a wave, a nudge or to just be in the present with that person. Just sit by that person. Say a freakin prayer! You don't have to know what that person is going through or even understand it. No matter how hard you try, YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT SOMEONE IS GOING THROUGH!!!! DO NOT TRY TO FIX IT, it's not your job!!! Just acknowledge that there is a problem and that there are emotions involved and quit pretending like everyone doesn't see the big fat purple elephant in the room. Ignoring it and pretending you had nothing to do with it does not make everything go away and sooner or later it will catch up to you and bite you in the ass!

Wow, so most of this is just rambling, venting, trying to make sense of things going on right now. Our family is going through a lot of pretty tough gains and losses. Most all of our close friends know the struggles right now, so there really isn't any need or want to explain it all here. As much as things suck right now, I feel like Eli and I are surrounded by the people who truly know us for who we are and don't judge us, they just love us! I do believe people are brought into our lives for a reason and the people in our lives are the best ever!

As much as things suck right now, it couldn't be going any better, if that makes any sense... I have contentment in knowing we will get through this because of my strong and unbreakable friendships and my family! We are so blessed to have the love, support, trust and complete honesty from everyone so close to us right now.

Yesterday I told Eli that I had this moment during the day that I felt this weird feeling that all this *crap* was too good to be true. I don't know exactly why our hardship seems 'too good to be true' but I actually felt that things were finally falling into place. These pieces are just fitting too perfectly. I almost felt like we didn't deserve it and felt unworthy.

Some days I feel that everything is about to start crumbling down at any moment and then faith reminds me of what is so right in our lives. I am humbled. I am thankful. Our family could be so much worse off but there is this energy that I am grasping onto ~ whether it be karma, God, grace, faith, love or support. Something is keeping Eli and I hand in hand walking on through all this muck. I feel the strong unbreakable grip we have on each other and I am not about to let go now.

I work hard trying not to question all the wrongs or why things ever got as bad as they did. I am not going to try and control a fight that we are so badly loosing. I am giving in and letting go, God is in control right now and Eli and I are trying our best to enjoy and focus on the good in our lives. Bring on the adventure, whether good or bad, the unknown, the change, maybe even the silent calm. I know that I am not alone, I have the best of the best with me on this journey into uncharted territory.

Speed Bump....

2010-05-18T12:51:00.005-04:00

The hype and excitement have subsided. I have conquered what I set out to achieve with all my hard work, all that was handed to me and all that I fought so hard for. Going into nursing school with a back injury was definitely not my intention when I started taking prerequisites to get into the program. With the help of many doctors, pain specialist, and my physical therapist and support from my family and friends, I did it and made it through in one piece. I am worn out. My back and my mind have had enough and I am calling it quits for a little bit...MERCY!

I started seeing a neurologist/neurosurgeon in February. With much careful considerations, second opinions including seeing an orthopedic surgeon, and many many discussions with Eli, I have decided to have back surgery. My neurosurgeon, Eli and I have decided on an ALIF (Anterior Lumbar Interbody Fusion). Fancy term for back surgery through the stomach. It adds a little bit of complication but recovery should be smoother if all goes well. I will hopefully be able to laugh when I set off the metal detector at the airport on our way to a vacation somewhere beautiful when all of this is said and done.

Yesterday was my pre-op appointment/physical and received all my paperwork and hand outs to prepare for this surgery and hospital stay. I would be lying if I said that I am not terrified. Eli and I went through the paper work and risks again together and talked about the what-ifs last night and now I think Eli is a little nervous but I can tell he is trying really hard to stay strong from me. I will be checking into the hospital on Monday at 5:30 am and am hoping to be home by Thursday. Recovery will take time and I'm trying to be very optimistic yet careful about my expectations.

It is going to be a huge change to be the patient and be on the opposite end of the spectrum. Now that I am more educated on what can happen and what does happen in the hospital make things a little nerve-racking for me. With that considered, I have chosen a highly recommended neurosurgeon, vascular surgeon and a hospital that I have had nothing but great experiences from.

Recovery will depend on a few things. How well the bones fuse together, how well I behave, if there are any complications and how fast I heal. I will have limitations for 6 months to 1 year and it will be difficult and next to impossible to get a nursing job with these restrictions. So my light at the end of the tunnel has become a little further away but as of now I still see it. I am blessed to have my job at AEC and my friends at AEC that have been working with my limitations this far and will take me back a little broken when I am able to start working again.

While I am recovering I will be enjoying my family, working on my resume, and studying for my NCLEX. I am not allowed to drive for 4 weeks which goes well with the fact that I still don't have a car. I have been trying to get this house organized and cleaned to my anal retentive perfection of what I call clean but I am having a hard time with all of this physically and emotionally. The closer Monday gets, the sadder I get for many reasons. Money being a big reason, not being the Mommy and the wife that I want to be is another. I find myself becoming even more frustrated when I see all my nursing school friends finding jobs and going to interviews. They are fulfilling their journey of become a nurse, while I am preparing my house and family for not having me at my best once again.

Eli keeps telling me that God gives us what we are capable of handling and we will make it through this. If this is true, than this must be the reason why I have Eli with me. This one I don't feel that I am capable of handling alone. I am in over my head and I have learned to let go of some of my excessive control and am handing this over to Eli for full support. I even gave him permission to shave my legs! I am so grateful for my husbands ginormous strength, courage, forgiveness, and love. Life in the Schultz household has been on many twists and turns in the past year and I really wanted to finally be at a little bit of a standstill to come back together and make up for what has been lost along the way.

I'm not sure of what normal will eventually be in the future but I am hopeful for normal one day soon. I am waiting impatiently for my exciting and terrifying first day as a nurse on my own without a clinical instructor. I just have to wait a little longer than I wanted and expected. I am still proud of my accomplishments! Focusing on that is helping. Continuing to focus on that will hopefully help me all the way through this recovery. Nothing is going to stop me from dusting off my walker and get ready for some cruising. As of now I am up for the challenge.

There has been a few doctors that question if my back will be able to handle the physical stress of the big world of nursing. I say that I have made it this far for a reason. I WILL be a nurse and I will be a great one! I am just being taught once again about patience. BRING IT!

PICTURES :)

Graduation

She makes me SMILE :)

2010-05-14T16:11:00.002-04:00

~I Love My Mom~
I'm thankful that you make me stay home from school when I'm sick, you want no germs in my class.
I'm thankful that you make me feed the dog, you want me to be responsible.
I'm thankful that you make me eat good foods, you want me to be healthy.
I'm thankful for you because you are thankful for me.

Love,
Erika xo

Olivitree

2010-05-14T11:10:00.001-04:00

Mom,
When I close my eyes I see your soft sparkling blue eyes, your smooth dark brown hair that reminds me of a blanket. The smile on your face warms my heart.
I appreciate how you help me.
I love it when you hug me and kiss me.
I will always remember the way you laugh and the way you did my hair.

Love Daughter
Via

Smurf's Bar Crawl

2010-05-10T12:47:00.001-04:00

This picture says it all!

So I attended my first bar crawl. Eli and I headed to downtown Lansing. I was so excited to introduce Eli to my other part of my life. I have made some great friends along this journey. I have learned so much from some of these people. We had a great group and I can honestly say that some of these people felt like family. Most of the time we all worked as a team with a common goal and a want to make a difference. We have cried together, complained together, but most of all we have all had some great laughs together. It's hard to believe that I won't see some of these people four times a week anymore. As much as I was so completely DONE with this program, I will never forget all the learning experiences and friendships I have made along the way! This night was a great night to end our trip to hell and back! We DID IT, we succeeded and damn did we celebrate!!! I LOVE ALL MY FELLOW SMURFS and will miss you all so much!!!!

The rest of the pictures along with some of our last days as 'Nursing Students' are here.....

Or just click on the album

Nursing Madness :)

Bandit AKA 'The Sock Bandit'

2010-05-10T10:53:00.000-04:00

THE CLAW

Bandit was hit by a car when he was about a year old. Couple surgeries later, a pneumothorax, and lots of cage rest, he ended up with radial nerve damage and a great attitude. Everyone recommended that I amputated his leg. I thought it gave him character. We decided to call it the claw, but it worked more like a hook. He could catch birds with it, clean his face and tackle his other best buds in the household with it. The claw made him who he was until the day he was send to be reunited with Stanley, Cloudy, Misty, Anabelle, Katie, and Capone. He has left Bink, who was his best friend and right now it's so hard to watch Bink be sad and alone.

He was called Bandit because he would steal socks. He would get into my Dad's sock drawer and then after I was married, Eli's sock drawer. He would put socks randomly around the entire house. The socks would have great big holes in them. Rarely were you able to catch him in the act. Sometime you could hear this crazy meow growl sound and see him walk around the corner with a sock in mouth like he just killed prey.

He would nurse all my stray babies that I would bring home through the years, and there were ALOT. He would clean them and keep them warm, watch over them and be a surrogate mother to them, except for the birds of course.... He was always in the mix. Never cared what was new that was brought in the household and always wanted to pitch in and help.

Bandit was 16 years old to the month. He was my first baby! He was with me through thick and thin....tech school, marriage, our first apartment, first house, children, jobs, and last but not least nursing school. He was always around especially if you were happy, sick, injured, sad, or pregnant. When my friends and I were all started to have children, we would call him the pregnancy test. It was like he just knew. He loved parties and loved attention. When the girls were sick or sad he was there...ALWAYS. After Eli and I told the girls that he passed, Erika was crying so hard she could barely speak and she spit out "he would be with me right now, trying to make me feel better, he can't be gone, he just can't". And he would've been. He would lick the tears away, cuddle up tight and just be there, no questions asked. It's was so hard to be the Mom in that moment and be strong so I could be there for her when I felt the same exact way.

There will NEVER be another pet in my life that could fill the hole of what he was to this family and to me. You could have a conversation with him and he would answer you, he would even talk to himself on many occasions, usually in the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping. He would wake us all up and you would hear all of us scream from our beds "BE QUIET BANDIT".

His last Christmas with us

Seriously?? You woke me up for that????

Bandit always would study with me. He was my study partner. When he heard me get the books out, he was there. He was there for my late night care map session. He was there when I was stressed about a test. Always laying on my papers. Sometimes just to keep me company, sometimes for attention. Be he was there. The past couple of days have been so hard because I still think I see him because Boof looks so much like him and I just want to cry.

There has been so much change in our lives this past week and this is one that I wish I could take away and just have a little more time.

Bandit will forever be in our hearts and is a part of many many memories that our family has made!

Stanley will always be my 'Fat Boy'

2010-01-26T14:15:00.001-05:00

LET ME GIVE YOU A BIG KISS XOXO

He always let Makenna do anything to him!

Even cuddled with her when she was sick.

Stanley was the biggest of the litter. Eli wanted him and named him, Stanley just fit. I bottle fed him and his litter, he was one of my children before my real children. He would jump on your back if you bent over, it was almost as if he would come out of nowhere. He always had to be in the mix!

I have bottle fed MANY animal babies. He tolerated ALL of them. Him and Bandit would take over and be a surrogate to anything that I brought home. He had the nickname 'Shamu' for a while because at one point he was so fat he could help but rest after a few steps and could barely make it up the stairs. He would literally fall to the side in slow motion when he was at his best. He was the laziest most laid back cat in our family. Always out and about and loved to snuggle up close.

Last year he started loosing weight and was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. Even on medication he still slowly lost weight. Yesterday his respirations became increased and I could tell he was struggling to get around and I had to leave him to go to school. I felt so horrible leaving him like that but I had a test and had lab. When I got home after school I took him to work and I had to make 'the decision'. Chronic high blood pressure and hyperthyroidism damaged his heart and kidneys and both of his lungs filled with fluid and he was in heart failure. I had to say goodbye to my Budda Man. One of the most difficult things for me to deal with, to this day, is watching anything struggle to breath. I just can't handle it. I don't even know how I made it though our ordeal when Makenna was in the hospital with pneumonia and RSV. That was the toughest week of my life.

As an LVT I have become 'used to' euthanasia as just a part of my job, it is something that I deal with almost every day at work especially working in emergency veterinary care. Some days are harder than others. I know how to support the client in their loss. I have become quite the pro.

It never gets easier when they are your own. Stanley was purring and doing his head bump and rub love even as he fell asleep for the last time. I will miss him, I don't remember a day where he wasn't in it, either pestering me for food or just laying next to me while I studied. He loved our family and we loved him. He is now with Cloudy, he was the closest with her....or I guess he was the only one who tolerated her attitude. Yes I do believe there is an animal heaven. It's what has gotten me through the past 15 years in veterinary medicine.

So Thank You to everyone who was there for me yesterday including my AEC family and especially Eli. Thank You Colleen for helping me, being honest with me and supporting me as my friend and not as Doctor. Thank You Juli for taking care of him for me and Thank You Dr. Robertson for helping me put an end to his suffering.

A Little Reflection

2009-12-10T17:28:00.002-05:00

In February 2006, six months after Makenna was born I went on a retreat with two very special women. It was the first time I left my children and husband and it was the first time Eli had to be a solo parent. Sherry flew in from California and met Cathie and I at the airport in Colorado. We rented a car and drove three hours through the jaw dropping Colorado mountains to one of the most peaceful places I have ever been to. The retreat was called Captivating put on by the Ransom Hearth Ministries. It was a great adventure!

This was just before I started going to school full time taking prerequisite classes for nursing school. I was a mother of three beautiful young little girls and a wife of 8 years. Looking back, life seemed so simple then. I laugh thinking that being a mother of three children under the age of 6, a wife, babysat for another baby, worked almost full time ~ thinking life seemed 'simple'. When I look back though, there was a sense of comfort and contentment, knew who I was and knew exactly what I wanted. I wish that I could return to some of those moments if even just for a few minutes that I felt so confident and secure.

This was also the first weekend Eli attended church without me. I remember getting a text message from him, just after a session sitting on my bunk bed. He told me that he packed all three of the girls up and took them out of the house and to church alone without me. I was so happy and so proud of him. With that I can also think back and remember all the years I went to church alone without him, I remember all that years of feeling I can do this (life) all by myself. I still have these stubborn feelings but that's a whole other story.

That weekend changed a lot of what I thought I was and it changed our marriage. Still to this day, on the days I struggle the most with life in general, I go back to moments on that retreat. Moments of silence, courage, and stillness. Moments of just being IN THE MOMENT. I still remember how I felt, I can see the white capped mountain tops, felling so cold standing in line waiting to plummet from up in a tree to the woods beneath me. The entire weekend was full of feelings of excitement, adventure, fear and happiness. With all this came tears and lots of laughter!

I miss that feeling of home and security within myself.

I climbed a trail on this mountain alone in complete silence, half way up the mountain I found a bench and just sat for what felt like eternity. I could have sat there forever. I remember closing my eyes and as cold as it was, all I could feel was the warmth and the sunshine on my face and thinking life couldn't be any better. I felt faith, hope and unconditional love.

After one of our sessions, walking back to our cabin we witnessed this beautiful sky. It was as if time stood still.

Xochimilcos

2009-11-20T13:15:00.001-05:00

Madres hermosas en Xochimilcos :)

Dave and Cathie

Margarita Anyone?

Or maybe some Mexican beer?

More beer and some Golden Tee

The Kurt's, Kohne's and Schultz's headed downtown to Xochimilcos. We started off with some Margaritas and a much needed shot of 1800. Great friends, great food and drinks accompanied with much needed laughter. After we were stuffed ourselves we headed to the Rhino, which is a total dive bar in South Lyon that we always end up going to with the Kurts after one too many. The boys played their usually golden tee games as the girls laughed and danced the night away. Later Mark and Diana tore up the dance floor and somehow Cathie and I were able to get a dance out of Dave and Eli, which is usually just unheard of!

Here is an album that shows the rest of the pictures from the night....

Friends :)

Rebecca is having TWINS :)

2009-11-20T12:27:00.001-05:00

She looks just beautiful :)

The Trouble Makers! We've been through it all together ~ and then some :)

Rianne, Jamie, Rebecca and I

Rebecca and I met in kindergarten. We saw each other through elementary, junior high, high school, first boyfriends, heartbreak, LOTS of trouble (I could write a book on all the trouble we got into), trips to Myrtle Beach, college, marriage, being a first homeowner, and babies (well...my babies). We always watched each others back and kept each other safe through it all. We were each others support system through thick and thin. Some of the best memories were just the many late night talks in her driveway about life. We know each others pasts like the back of our hands. Makes me sad that we don't see each other as much as we should but life is crazy and super busy and we will always be friends and will never forget all the great memories we share.

Finally!!! It's her time to be a MOMMY :) Rebecca and Don are having twin girls that are due on Christmas day. I don't know anyone who deserves this more. I am so happy for her and I can't wait to hold those beautiful baby girls!

Two Steps Away

2009-11-19T09:58:00.001-05:00

As a family we watch 'So You Think You Can Dance'. The girls and I love it, Eli enjoys it most of the time. I have never missed an episode since it started, the girls got into it with me about 2 years ago. There have been dances through the years that have hit certain spots and it has happened yet again. This piece was about living with fear and how to move on. This is something that hit really close to home for me, especially lately.

Patti Labelle co-wrote this song with these thoughts......

"We are two steps away from being kind people.
We are two steps away from respecting each other.
Two steps away from listening to each other.
Two steps away from loneliness and happiness."

Here is the entire song by Patti Labelle.

Here is the beautiful performance by Kathryn and Legacy, a vision and choreography from Stacey Tookey.

Attitude

2009-11-13T10:33:00.003-05:00

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past.....we cannot change the fact that people will act a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude....I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you....we are in charge of our attitudes."

~Charles Swindoll

Mother Teresa's Prayer

2009-11-13T10:10:00.003-05:00

"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

~Mother Teresa

Makenna is on her way! at OneTrueMedia.com

2009-11-05T09:06:00.001-05:00

Look what I found!!! It feels like it was so long ago. And yes, I cried all the way through it. Time goes by way too fast!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Volunteer work

2009-10-26T10:03:00.003-04:00

Nursing school requires me to do 4 hours of volunteer work a semester in order to stay in the program. The end of this semester is coming soon and I have not yet done my volunteer work. There was no way I was able to squeeze any time in during my pediatric rotation, so I put it off. I am running out of time and there is a volunteer opportunity to vaccinate for the H1N1 vaccine in Lansing. I have my own issues about vaccinations and wish I researched them more when I was a young mother, especially when it came to Olivia. I am not anti vaccine but children should be looked at as individuals and not be grouped as a whole (my own opinion). So I started doing a little research on the vaccine and I'm really not that impressed.
Dr. Steve Harrison, old friend of mine, recommended a blog that I now read. Dr. David Brownstein discusses holistic family medicine, as does Dr. Steve Harrison. These are Dr. Browstein's thoughts on the vaccine and here is the information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). To each their own. I don't know if I feel comfortable giving this new vaccine and/or getting it. I do know that I am not vaccinating my children for it, especially Olivia.
Nursing school is changing my thoughts and interests and I am more aware of prevention and wellness. I have learned that Americans focus more on treatment then prevention in general. Eli and I are trying to make some 'healthier' changes in our household and I am trying to become more educated....in all my spare time.
Any thoughts?

An addition to the Schultz household

2009-05-14T18:55:00.003-04:00

Aside from Eli's kidney stone, we have a new addition to our family. He was a stray brought into my work at AEC on Saturday night. He reminded me of Bandit (aside from "the claw") and I couldn't help myself. I brought him home and let him grow on Eli (luckily Eli is highly medicated).

I named him after my favorite FBI agent from my favorite t.v. show Bones. So his name is "BOOTH" but Makenna calls him "BOOF". He loves the girls and the girls love him. The other animals in the household are tolerating him except for Bink. Bink is the jealous type.
He has been the much needed comic relief for this family this past week. Kittens are so fun :)

What a day!

2009-05-05T11:21:00.002-04:00

May 5th is a day that has been etched in my life for the past 11 years. Eleven years ago today, I graduated as a LVT (Licensed Veterinary Technician) with an Associates Degree in Applied Science and sadly it was also the due date of the baby that Eli and I lost. It was a day that I have always had mixed emotions about. A day that made me smile and made me cry, every year since then. On graduation day I was surrounded by great friends, my awesome sister, my husband and my wonderful parents! That night Eli and I partied until the sun came up. It is a day in my life that will always be with me and will never be forgotten.
TODAY, MAY 5th 2009, 11 years later....still young, yet a little wiser! A wife of over 11 years, mother of 3 beautiful little girls, working and going to school full time. TODAY, I passed my final exam with a 90%! I am now a LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse). In one short year, I will be an RN! :)
So it is a great day today! A milestone that I can add to my May 5th with the greatest SMILE :)! Proof of how great my life truly is and how to take the good with the bad sometimes. Today, I am reminded that Eli has been there with me every step of the way from the very beginning to this very moment. He has held my hand through ALL of this. He has been there to laugh with me and has been there to wipe away my tears!! Through good times and bad! So I DID IT, but not alone, with my partner in crime and also all the people I love the most!

Words to live by

2009-04-08T10:56:00.002-04:00

"Resolving a conflict doesn't mean you must think or feel exactly the same. It means accepting and respecting inevitable differences in opinions and priorities."

~Bonnie Eaker Weil PhD

Just what I needed today!

2009-03-31T18:51:00.005-04:00

I've been having a tough time with school, motherhood, being a wife, and working. I have been questioning what I am doing and if it is really worth all that I am missing out on. Our children, our marriage, the time with the people who I love the most. Everything in our household lately revolves around my school and work schedule. I feel selfish and needy. My house is falling apart, the laundry is piled up high. My google calender is so filled that all the events don't fit on some days. Makenna has been sick. I have made some mistakes at school. Olivia was stood up by the tooth fairy for the third time. I have cried more in the past two weeks than I have in the past two years.
It bothers me that I am not with my girls the way they deserve. Eli and I are just passing in the morning and night. We were having one of the few family dinners the other night and Eli and the girls were talking and joking. They were giggling together and cracking jokes and I felt like an outsider looking in. That feeling that you just don't belong. Lately Eli get's the girls, he is their comic relief. He is keeping this family grounded. They look to him, which makes me angry and it shouldn't. Angry probably isn't the best word, maybe jealous would fit better.
Driving home from picking my girls up from my Mom's today a song came on from the CD that Eli had made for me to listen to on my constant, endless drives to Lansing. It was a CD filled with songs that reminded him of "us". Erika, Olivia, Makenna and I all starting singing a song together. I miss that, I miss those moments. The connection moments. The silly simple moments. When we arrived home, Kenna and I took a 4 hour nap. I love snuggling with my girls. Makenna is the best snuggler, she gets as close as she can without suffocating you. When Kenna and I woke up, I walked downstairs to find Eli sitting at the kitchen table doing homework with Erika and Olivia. I opened my email to see if my test grade was posted and this is what was there from Eli....

Our love is the long lasting kind;
We’ve been together quite awhile.
I love you for so many things,
Your voice, your touch, your kiss, your smile. You accept me as I am;
I can relax and just be me.
Even when my quirks come out,
You think they’re cute; you let me be. With you, there’s nothing to resist;
You’re irresistible to me.
I’m drawn to you in total trust;
I give myself to you willingly. Your sweet devotion never fails;
You view me with a patient heart.
You love me, dear, no matter what.
You’ve been that way right from the start. Those are just a few reasons why
I’ll always love you like I do.
We’ll have a lifetime full of love,
And it will happen because of you.

MY GRACE FROM GOD!

Stressed...Who me?

2009-03-13T17:09:00.004-04:00

"We have overstretched our personal boundaries and forgotten that true happiness comes from living an authentic life fueled with a sense of purpose and balance."

Dr. Kathleen Hall

Stress Institute Homepage

How to reduce stress according to Dr. Kathleen Hall

NURS 165

2009-03-04T17:25:00.004-05:00

I have accomplished yet another goal. NURS165 - Maternity. These are the people I have been spending the last 8 weeks with. My home away from home. The ones I have experienced some amazing, emotional and speechless moments with. Because of certain laws, I cannot discuss patients on my blog but I can tell you that I witnessed two beautiful babies be brought into this world, one vaginally and one by cesarean. Personally having had both a cesarean and 2 natural births, I can honestly say that it is completely different being on the opposite end.
I have learned more about who I am as a person and I learned some strengths and some weaknesses that are part of my personality. I have learned that labor and delivery is not my thing, even though it was completely life altering. I was disappointed when I had that feeling "this is not for me" but was also grateful that it helped me realize that I really need to be caught up in busyness and chaos. I need the adrenaline and those fast decision moments. In maternity there seemed to be more sitting around, looking at monitors, waiting for a baby to be born, kind of atmosphere. I need the constant go go go. It was good to cross something off my list of possibilities, but sad because it was something I thought I would be really passionate about.
I spent many moments with some amazing nurses! Nurses that have truly inspired me and I will take their wisdom with me! There was a specific 8 hours shift, with one nurse in particular, where I felt that I had learned more from her than from 3 text books and 8 weeks of lecture.
I definitely have a spot in my heart for all the babies I was blessed to spend time with. My favorite moments during this rotation was in the nursery with the lights dim, music on, rocking in the rocking chair with them. Not knowing what life has in store for them. What they may or may not experience. Knowing that the good, bad and ugly will soon enter their lives once they leave that hospital. Hopefully later more than sooner. I will miss the nursery....I will miss the babies.
I have a passion for newborns and for children. I loved talking to the siblings about their new brother or sister and see the expressions on their faces. PRICELESS :) Oh, to be innocent and see the world at such a different level before experiences, family, friends and judgments dramatically alter who they become. To be a part of that purity...WOW!
I don't know where I will end up in the great big world of nursing. I know I have choices, I just hope I make the right ones.
So I am on spring break. Make up time with my family and friends. A little breather. A step back to regroup and remind myself why I am putting myself and my family through this. God I hope I am doing the right thing!

Christmas Break

2008-12-16T09:04:00.006-05:00

I made it through my first semester of nursing school and yes so did Eli. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Looking back on the last 3 1/2 months is pretty surreal. I am proud of our accomplishments. I say our, because together we worked hard as a family to make this work.
I have learned to let go of some of my perfectionism's, which was probably the most difficult for me. I have made many mistakes and I have had some pretty awesome "you rock" moments. My sneak peak of nursing has left me completely intrigued. I don't ever want to forget or loose sight of what type of patient advocate I will be. If I ever loose sight of that, I do hope that someone hits me and hits me hard.

I met and worked side by side with some great nurses who have inspired me and I have worked with some tough ones. I prefer to focus on the great moments. Life will always bring out the good, bad and the ugly.

There were some moments during this semester that I thought to myself "what the hell am I doing here, and where is the exit". It scared me to think that I worked this hard for something I wasn't completely sure I really wanted. I don't know where I will end up but I do know now that I am where I need to be. There were moments of weakness, utter frustration, failure, and fear. Along with those came moments of accomplishment, relief, and happiness. The best feeling was knowing I made a difference in my patients life. That was the most overwhelming feeling of all! Everyone has a story and being trusted to listen to or be a part of that story is a gift. To be a part of someones life when they are vulnerable and hurting is a gift. To be able to relieve another human being of fear or illness for a moment and to see them smile was my biggest accomplishment. It didn't happen every time with every patient, but when it did, it was one of the most overwhelming feelings I have ever experienced.

I am looking forward to next semester. The first half my clinicals will be maternity and the second half I will be on the med-surg floor, both at Ingham Hospital. After next semester I will be a LPN. Then I can work as an LPN while I finish up the final 2 semesters and become a proud RN.
All I know for sure is that I am on Christmas Break. I can breathe again for a couple weeks and enjoy some down time. This family could use a little rest and relaxation, a little snuggle time will be nice too!

Adjusting

2008-09-05T10:05:00.002-04:00

I started nursing school two weeks ago. It has been a major change and slightly overwhelming. One of the biggest things I have learned is that you cannot be shy in this program, nor be afraid of touching and getting up close and personal with complete strangers. You also can't be afraid to make a complete fool of yourself in front the people you will be spending the next 2 years with. The amount of touching and talking you do with you classmates is crazy. I have gotten to know most of them faster then I cared too. In all of our labs we practice on each other. Except for the enema lab, whew, that would have been bad. After the first couple of labs, there's a realization that we are all scared shitless and we are all in it together. Coming together with one thing in common and one purpose.
There is a total of 64 students in my class, almost all of them with spouses and little ones at home and a good majority of them are single mothers. Talking with some of them just amazes me. The courage and strength that some of them have completely inspires me. I could not imagine not having Eli to support me and encourage me.
Most of the instructors are so great, not all but most. They don't leave out any details that's for sure. My first test is on Monday. In one month I will be doing clinicals in the nursing home and in acute care in the hospital, doing things on people that I feel completely under qualified for. Live and learn I guess.
I had my 3rd pain injection last Friday, this has probably been the most effective one. I was in less pain after ward, but it probably helped that I did a whole lot of nothing for two days. I hopefully only have one more month of physical therapy. Frank told me that this next month will be the most important and I have to work really hard in order to get most of my restrictions lifted. I am growing tired of pt to be honest, enough is enough. I am so ready to move on with my life and be pain free. The evenings are the worst, especially after sitting through lecture and all the walking I've been doing.

Together at last

2008-09-05T09:38:00.002-04:00

Erika and Olivia are finally at the same school. Erika being a big 3rd grader and Olivia is in 1st. It amazes me everyday that they are 2 years apart, yet wear the same size clothes and shoes.

This was the first year that I wasn't there for their first day of school. It was hard for me, but they both woke up extra early so we could spend the morning together. I got to give them lots of hugs and kisses and eat breakfast with them. Luckily they had Nana to take them for me and took pictures for me. Erika and Olivia are so understanding and "grown up". They are as proud of me as I am of them. For them to understand what I am doing and why I am doing it makes me so proud (and less guilty).

Olivia was really nervous! This is her "OH CRAP" look.
"This isn't like kindergarten"

After some reassurance!
She was also excited that her BFF from kindergarten is in her class :-)!

Erika's a pro. She loves school!

Makenna is in Preschool

2008-09-05T09:34:00.001-04:00

Eating breakfast at 6:15 AM. She was a little happier and awake then I was.

So sad, this is the only picture I could get of her on her first day, she started to get a little sad about me leaving, so I tried to leave before she had a chance to have her melt down. Her meltdown happened on her third day when they had to rip her out of my arms and I could hear her screaming from down the hall, "MOMMY DON'T LEAVE ME". I wanted to turn around and pick her up and love her.

Beside the one meltdown she is adjusting well, and yes so is Mom. I miss her like crazy though! She loves "her friends" and the "choo choo train". They even have been able to get her to take a nap everyday.

Girls Being Girls

2008-08-17T18:07:00.002-04:00

"Let me in Mumma, they gettin me!"

"Get her Erika" (you can see Makenna running for her life through the deck posts)

"Ya I did it and Daddy had to take the hose from me cuz I wasn't playing fair."

4 Days and Counting

2008-08-17T12:08:00.006-04:00

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.
-King Whitney Jr.

Starting to get a little nervous and I have huge butterflies in my stomach thinking about the fact that in 4 days I will officially be a nursing student. I think it finally hit me this morning. I was sitting on my couch enjoying my coffee, watching Makenna play and talking with Eli. I started thinking to myself....this will be the last Sunday morning until December that I will be homework free. There are so many emotions that I am feeling at this moment, not any more then the other. My life as I know it is about to change. Some people hate change, me....not so much. I am about to embrace this change with wide open arms.
I have been praying and hoping for this experience for as long as I can remember. It's in front of me and I'm about to touch it. I can't believe how close I am to it. I am so grateful for this opportunity. It almost feels too good to be true. I can't promise that I will have this attitude half way through the semester, but going into it excited doesn't hurt.

My Badge of Honor

2008-08-12T15:42:00.000-04:00

Erika and I headed out to Lansing today. I showed her all around campus and showed her which building most of my lectures and labs will be at. I had to get my student nurse badge, pick up my supplemental packets, nursing equipment, and gait belt. I also took her to the bookstore. I wanted to compare prices and see if there were any used books and if they were cheaper then half.com, which NO they weren't.

Erika asked me, "Mommy I thought you said I had to finish college before I could get married. Why didn't you?"

I told her, "I did honey, I finished once before, but a woman can always change her mind and do something different."

All the way home she told me all the different things she wanted to be and do when she grows up. Everything from an illustrator, a writer, a chef, and a police officer.....and all her reasons why. We had great conversations about how she was as a baby and how much she has grown through the years. I told her how very proud of her I was. She impressed me today and I just know that she will be something great, no matter what it is that she chooses.

Erika loved it, walked around wide eyed with a big smile on her face. She did say that she was happy to still be in elementary school because she's not ready to walk around that much yet. We had a great day together and I took her to lunch before we picked up Olivia and Makenna from my Moms.

Back Update

2008-08-05T10:18:00.009-04:00

Warning: This is me complaining, if you don't want to read it.....don't.

So I had my second cortisone injection last Friday. I did all that I could to keep myself going and keep my mind off it. The family hung with the Kurt's Friday night, Saturday with the Meador's, and on Sunday we hung out at the Jeffrey's cottage. The weekend went fast and I was surrounding by the people I love and that's what I needed to keep me going and keep me side tracked. Watching my girls have fun in the water was my highlight for the weekend. Knowing they had a great weekend made me smile. I feel like I have held them back from so much this summer.

Monday morning I was limping a little, no biggie, in my opinion. More pain down my leg that I prefer, but doable. I saw Dr. Carbajo in the morning, she read the recommendation from my pt and we had another talk. She is concerned about getting me through nursing school. She also brought up the surgery word. She said we will talk more about it after my 3rd injection. Something I was trying to avoid at all costs. If these injections don't work, there may not be much more to do other then surgery or I can just continue with medication and keeping up exercises but she said we may be looking at a chronic pain type thing. Surgery is not an option for me at this point, again, this is my own opinion. She said I may want to be careful about my field choices once I am a nurse. I will probably have my limitations and again talked to me about "life altering event" blah, blah. Still no work, and she said she'll see me in a month. She did say that I was doing my best and I am a compliant patient, and reminded me of how far I've come, but it didn't make me feel much better. My afternoon was filled with frustration and tears. My sister and Eli were blessed to listen to it all and then some.

I arrived at pt excited and optimistic because I was supposed to be starting a change and was going to be able to work with Franks wife on pilates strengthening. Arrived there ready to go, decided I would focus on this being the highlight for my day. Started on the tread mill for warm up, Frank and Christie, of coarse, took me off 1 minute into it. The two of them assessed me together in a room, look at my injection sites and decided together that today was not a good day to start. They did a little talking about me, respecting that I was in the room, mostly good and also talked directly to me about their concerns. Frank was telling her how much I have improved and what he thought I was capable of. Christie put her hand on me, smiled and said that Frank has kept her updated and together they have been coming up with a plan for me and we will try and start Wednesday, try not to be frustrated, you just need to rest. Frank did some soft tissue therapy to loosen up some of the inflammation. So for two hours I slept, laid on heat, traction, stretching exercises, massage and Frank let me do one exercise.

This is probably my own fault and I should have just relaxed this weekend but I am so sick of just sitting around watching the world go by. It's not like I was running around lifting things. At most I picked up Makenna when she had her finger incident. I may have been on my feet more then I should have, but honestly sitting for me sucks and is uncomfortable for me right now. I am bored, restless, and irritated.

Beside all of this that is going on, the cortisone injections has messed up my girly hormones and am also now on another medication to regulate what is going on, and it's not working. Which could be another reason why I am crying for every stupid thing and about to buy stock in always. If it's not the cortisone that is causing these problems, my ablation isn't working anymore and I may need to have a hysterectomy, among a few other things that is going on that I will not go into details about.

I now am under the care of a total of 2 physical therapists and 3 doctors. I am worn out and am I growing tired of everyones opinion on what I should or shouldn't do. I am also tired of people outside of the medical profession telling me their opinion on what worked for someone they know. Let me be, I'm a big girl, I am not ignorant nor stupid and I will figure out what to do under the care of the proper professional opinions and what I feel is best for me and my family.

I am going to try and enjoy my last 3 weeks of summer with my girls before nursing school starts. My first day of lecture is August 21st. I am hoping that I will be able to hold my own by the end of September when I get assigned to a nursing home. Also I need to get back to work so I can afford Makenna's daycare.

If I am in a bad mood or don't feel like talking about it, please don't take it personally. If anyone truly knows me, they know I put other people's feeling before my own. I'm sorry for being a little selfish at this moment right now. This is just where I am right now and just know I am trying to work out my attitude on my own. If you think you're tired of me, just imagine how I feel about myself.

I am trying to embrace all the great things in my life and focus on that, because I do have such great things in my life. My family, my children and the memories of our vacation and all the great experiences the girls have had this summer that I have been able to witness first hand. The fact that I have been able to spend more time with Eli then I ever have before. I have never been able to be a stay at home mom. So this is new to me. Being at work is much easier for me then being at home. I just wish I could be the great mom I know I could be if I had full function of my entire body. I feel that my children got me this summer by default and that they have somehow missed out on things.

Meadors new boat

2008-08-02T23:39:00.003-04:00

Diane and Jeff's new boat.

Kenna carrying her noodle

Olivia is all smiles on the lake

The boys played some volleyball at the sandbar with some other Chemung regulars.

The Fab 5 enjoying the boat ride home

CHEEEESE, or should I say potato chips, gone in 60 seconds

Cheers

Jeff actually didn't catch this

We had a short afternoon on Lake Chemung today. We didn't get out there until I could get my back into it. We had just enough time for the kids to blow off some pent up energy. Lauren and Erika swam the entire time. The dare devils, Ryan and Olivia went tubing. Kenna likes to act like a mermaid and boat rides when Uncle Jeff goes "SUPER FAST". We had to cut the day short because Diane had to go to work :(.

Kenna Benna

2008-08-02T23:26:00.002-04:00

Not sure what she was doing here.....

Makenna swimming with her big cousin Ryan today at Lake Chemung

Happy Kenna

This is Kenna after she had her finger slammed in the front door tonight, right where the hinges are, ouch! Poor Ryan felt so bad, he kept kissing her saying "I sorry Kenna, I sorry". I thought he was going to cry. After almost 2 hours of screaming, a double dose of Motrin and lots of love, she finally fell asleep watching the little mermaid on my laptop and playing with her Barney laptop. She managed to sleep 2 hours with her hand wrapped in ice. She is awake again now watching the good night show. I think she'll live. She just keeps saying "my finger, my finger". It's double in size and has a nice cut on the underside of it. She's not using it, but hopefully it will be better tomorrow! Thank God it's still attached and there wasn't a trip to the ER, she has enough accidents on her record. It's amazing how different it is with your 3rd child.

After me screaming "ELI AHHHH, Kenna's finger, Kenna's finger", (we all now how loud I can be, I think you get the point), it looked bad when I first got it out of the door. Eli came running and there are 3 strips of lawn mowed in the front yard and the lawn mower is still sitting in the same spot. It was too dark to finish after all was said and done, so Jeff and Eli started on a project. Kenna slept long enough for me to feed Lauren, Ryan, Erika, Olivia, Jeff, and Eli.

Eli and Jeff are installing a ceiling fan in our bedroom right now. Something long overdue and one of great buys we used with the $1000 home depot gift card Eli won at golf. Our bedroom is always the hottest in the summer and the coldest in the winter. I'm just happy that I don't have to listen to the loud fan we had on our dresser pointed directly at our bed. It's the little things.

This isn't funny anymore

2008-07-15T14:58:00.001-04:00

Not that it ever was funny, I am so done, not literally of coarse. I am tired of doctors appointments, physical therapy appointments, being stuck with genormous needles, not being able to work, not being able to pick up Makenna and throw her in the air, not being able to carry my girls to bed, falling back into the debt hole we were starting to creep out of, not having my independence!
I am so sick of the unknown. The unknown of when I will be able to wake up in the morning and not feel pain. When I can go back to work. When I can carry laundry upstairs without the fear of reinjuring myself. To not have to take pain medication everyday. To not cringe every time someone asks how I feel because I am so sick of talking about it. I feel like S#!^, is what I want to say. If I say how I really feel, I feel like a big pussy. It is defining me, controlling me and it is starting to become who I am and my frustration is trickling down to my children and to Eli.
I am pissed off that it says that I have a 10lb lifting restriction on my nursing school health form that I have to turn in. I am 32 years old and this is bull crap. I go to physical therapy 3 days a week for 2 hours at a time and I have never missed an appointment, not even one! I work out with old people, not Brad Jeffrey old, I am talking old people. I work my butt off. There are days that I focus on one thing in the room and just keep saying "you can do it, your that much closer". Every time I just want to give up pt, I suck it up and push back the tears, when I just want to stomp my foot sometimes and say, enough already, I do a few more, I push a little harder. The other day there was a lady there in her 80's that had heavier weights on her push down and pull downs then I did. I felt like a little kid. Why does she get more than me? No fair. I actually argued with the technician. He said, sorry Mrs. Schultz, Frank says no. STOP CALLING ME MRS. SCHULTZ, my name is Dana. What is that all about, really....are you joking? I love my physical therapist and he has done wonders and I know things could be worse and this isn't an easy fix. I've been told this over and over. Frank really is pushing me and I am truly blessed to have been put in such great hands. I am happy that I have that sore feeling the next day because I feel like I am getting somewhere. I am happy that I am doing actual strenuous physical exercises, because I know I am becoming capable. Now along with the back and leg pain I have muscle pain and some muscle spasms. You know, the ones that wake you up in the middle of the night, those charlie horse leg pains. It sucks but it makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere. Eli says I don't drink enough water. I am trying to call it the good pain.
The pain injections are starting to wear off I think. I am back on taking pain medication on a regular basis. I really wanted to avoid having more injections because I thought the first experience was so painful, I didn't want to go through it again. I thought I would be fine, I really did.
My internist told me last week that this was a life changing event. I just wanted to fall over. "What do you mean?" Maybe I just never realized it because it was never said to me like that in black and white. I just thought when I felt better, I would be better, end of story.....fixed. Maybe I was too hopeful or completely naive. She told me that this can and probably will happen again and I will always have to be careful. In the simplest of words, according to Dr. Carbajo and Dr. Cueto, physical therapy and exercise is what is going to keep me out of the surgery room and that it will never be "fixed". WHAT? Was she talking to me? I actually thought maybe she was thinking of a different patient. I felt deceived, like someone took something from me. I can be right back to where I was in the beginning with something as simple as turning the wrong way? I don't want to go through that ever again. Lets just hope not for a while, or at least until I finish school and pay off my student loans.
I have to keep up with my exercises and it will never be over. I don't know where I am going to find the drive or the time to do all these exercises when pt is over, in between being a Mom, a wife, a student, and work. I know it's in me, but honestly I can see myself saying, I'll do it tomorrow. I need this strength, I want this strength, but the truth is, I need someone behind me pushing me sometimes.
I was told by a friend last week that maybe I should think about getting a desk job. I was also told by another friend that maybe God is trying to point me in a different direction. Honestly I felt overwhelmingly pissed off. Not after what I have gone through. Not after all that I worked for and suffered through and gave up. I am not a quitter. Nursing was all I ever wanted to do. I have waited long enough. I have done my time. I have worked too hard, I earned it! God is not pointing me in a different direction, that can't be, I absolutely refuse to believe that. He better just be showing me how strong I am, at least I hope that's what he's doing.
I have worked my ass off and nursing is one of my unfinished goals. I am not a pencil pusher. That's not my thing. I can't just sit there, I want to be part of the action. I want to help people, I want to be able to heal people. I want to be able to bring joy and a sense of calmness to someone that is hurting. I want to be there for people who feel as frustrated as I do right now and hold their hand and walk with them and hug them.....you can't do that sitting down. That is who I am. I refuse to let anything crush my hopes and dreams. This is what I believe is my ultimate gift from God. It is the one thing I am so sure of. I am not giving up yet. I am going to get through nursing school and get back to work if I have to do with my walker.

Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Ian Gannon

2008-07-13T11:21:00.003-04:00

Last night Ian and Dana were joined as husband and wife. They met in high school and both graduated from Michigan State. Dana is an RN and works in the neonatal intensive care unit in Ohio were Ian is doing his residency to be a neurologist.

Ian and Dana as husband and wife

Peggy, Diane, Kathleen, Andrea, Dana, Laura, and me.

The Lake Charlevoix Crew

There were many years that when I was younger our families went to Lake Charlevoix together. There were also trips to Yogi Bear Camp ground, Traverse City, Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes, and Grant and Linda's cottage. Oh and we can never forget all the dinners at Dills. Kathleen and Diane were the oldest and would go out and meet boys and shop, or just drive around in the mini van and act cool. Peggy and I were the ones that used to stay back and babysit David (yes David was the only boy, poor guy), Dana, Andrea, and Laura when the parents would go out at night. I think at one point, all the little girls had a crush on David and would giggle and follow him around.

When I turned 16 I would get Andrea and Dana off the bus everyday and watched them four days a week, 2 summers in a row from 7-5. Dana was always the serious good girl and Andrea was my little trouble maker. She reminded me so much of myself. Peggy used to babysit Laura, so we would occasionally get them together during the day in the summer and go to the movies or McDonald or just would get them together so Peggy and I could have moral support. Now the three of them are all grown up and getting married. WOW, I remember when they used to have blankets (Laura called hers her B) suck their thumbs and change their diapers. They are all so beautiful and have grown up to be well rounded young woman!

Uncle Oscar, Aunt Mary, Brian, Marlene, Jerry, Chris, Linda, Grant, Dawn and Dave

The Ford ~ Rouge Steel Crew

These are the parents. Uncle Oscar, Brian, Grant, Dawn, Linda and my Dad all met at work (Originally Ford then chained off to Double Eagle, then Rouge Steel, now called Severstal) and they were inseparable. I used to call all of them by Uncle and Auntie because they were in my life more than my blood relatives. Dawn is the only one still with the company and they have all gone on to bigger and better things, but they always stayed close and ALWAYS have a great time when they get together.

We had such a great night together, filled with full laughter and talking about old times. I love those moments when you feel at home. Reminds me of that Cheers song, "Where everybody knows your name".

You can see the rest of the pictures from the wedding HERE.

The Gannon Wedding

Boating Fun

2008-07-07T17:00:00.003-04:00

Yesterday we headed out to Lake St. Clair. David is in town for a week or so. The weather couldn't have been nicer. Not a cloud in the sky and no humidity, which is a huge plus for me. I HATE humidity.

Eli and my Dad were bumping belly's, I guess it's a man thing, kinda like rubbing your antlers on trees or something. Trying to show each other which one had the bigger belly. Being to preoccupied with comparing their manhood they didn't see Jeff coming, so Jeff decided to push them both overboard, they didn't know what hit them. Eli didn't drop his beer, go figure.

My Mom and Dad bought a dingy last year (this little boat that connects to their big boat). Uncle Dave decided to take Makenna, Erika, and I for a ride after he took Ryan for a ride. Ryan loved when Uncle Dave went FAST! He took the girls a little slower, mostly to just get Makenna to sleep and my back can't handle the bumps, so I got to sit on this blue cushion thing that is so comfy. Makenna did fall asleep and then Uncle Dave decided to join her in her nap in the front cabin.

My dad must be hanging out with the girls too much because now he thinks he's cool and shows the peace sign. They are quite the boaters and just seems to know everyone and anyone.

The girls met some new friends. They all had fun swimming together.

My little swimmers!

While the guys were cooking up chicken, burgers, and hot dogs back at the dock in the marina...the girls took the little ones down to the pool. Yes the marina they dock their boat at has a pool, along with anything else you can think of under the sun. They had a blast. At one time my Mom thought Ryan was waving at her when actually he was almost drowning. Good thing Diane was there to save her child. All of them this year are little water bugs. Erika and Olivia are finally swimming in the deep end without life jackets!

You can see the rest of the pictures HERE.

Boating Fun 2008

July 4th Fireworks

2008-07-07T16:07:00.007-04:00

The Meador's, Dennis's, and Schultz's headed to the fireworks in Fowlerville on the 4th. We found a great spot right near the playground. The kids had a blast. It is hard to count 7 children under the age of 8 when it is so crowded but we managed not to loose any of them. WHEW!

A child (not any of ours) had pooped and made a skid mark down this slide, nobody was coming to clean it up, and of coarse none of the other parents would fess up to their child's mistake, so Diane decided to glove up (or double bag) and take the matter into her own hands.

Lauren climbing the wall!

Erika and Sophia

Kimmy just got a new double stroller and all the kids were able to get their turn to sit in it! All of them took turns and loved taking care of Sophia.

Olivia and Ryan getting ready for the fireworks

Diane and her little man enjoying a moment together.

Bobby and Eli giving Marina and Makenna a little push. HIGHER DADDY HIGHER!

They were pooped! Snuggle time!

Diane and I with our "Big Gulp's" ;)

Eli bought this ridiculus hat from some strange man at the party store and decided to wear it all night. Sombrero anyone, ugh....

After the fireworks we headed back to Diane and Jeff's and played a little wii. We were out a little too late, but was worth every second.

You can see the rest of the pictures HERE.

July 4th 2008

Happy Birthday To My Big Sis!

2008-07-07T14:48:00.004-04:00

Diane turned 34!

When we were at St. Helen, her first birthday celebration.....Jeff wrote out a cute card using all the titles of the songs that David Cook sang on American Idol and surprised her with American Idol tickets. She was pretty happy! SHE IS IN LOVE WITH DAVID COOK and sometimes you can catch her drooling if she sees his picture or listens to his songs.

We celebrated her birthday quite a few times. This was her actual birthday. Diane and Jeff had some people over to celebrate. This is one of Diane's best friends Tracy. Like we haven't barbecued enough in the past couple weeks, whats another one.

Without limes or lemons, we decided to do tequila shots with oranges. Much better. Note to self....a few shots of tequila, valium, and darvocet leads to a slight black outs also know as a drunken stooper.

You can see the rest of the pictures HERE

Diane 34th B-day 2008

A little TLC

2008-07-07T11:38:00.020-04:00

Our vacation was all that I needed and more. We stayed at the "Twin Lake Chalet". It was perfect! The weather was perfect, the cottage was perfect. The memories and laughter were coming from all angles.

Every morning the kids were out in the water swimming by 9 while the parents were still waking up and consumed some......well lots of, coffee. Some parents, I won't mention any names didn't get out of bed till almost 12pm.

Mostly Jeff and Eli were recovering from all their late nights up with each other. Di and I retired early a few nights to read our books and a couple of times from pure exhaustion, but we did try and compete with them and stayed up late a few nights.

There was a game room in the walk out level part of the cottage. Complete with foosball, air hockey, card table, big t.v., and dart board. Of coarse they brought playstation 2 complete with Madden.

Eli and Jeff kept a running tally of how well they did, because if you know Jeff and Eli, they are so competitive with each other ~ bragging rights.

They even competed on how many fish big fish they caught, which was NONE. They both will CLAIM they almost snagged one, but had nothing to show for it. I would definitely give them an A for effort though.

Jeff and I didn't do as well on our euchre streak as well as we have done in the past. I blame Jeff and his alcohol consumption.

The water was great. We had the whole lake and adjoining lake all to ourselves. At most we saw 2 other boats on the water at the same time.

The kids had a blast tubing. I think Ryan enjoyed himself the most. He is crazy and reminds me of my little bro when he was little...FEARLESS. Makenna even tubed with her Auntie, Uncle Jeff, and Daddy. I was a little sad that I didn't get to do that with her, but was great to be able to watch her enjoy it.

Everyday we would take the pontoon boat to the sandbar, the boys would fish, the kids would swim, and Diane and I would work on our tan, talk, read and make sure nobody drowned. Makenna would crash out on the ride to or from the sandbar.

Almost every night before dinner, the kids would fish off the dock for pan fish. There were so many fish. You didn't even need bait and they would jump on the hook. Makenna even caught some all on her own.

Speaking of dinners, the food was fantastic every night. We all contributed, but I think the best meal was the one we all did together. Eli and Jeff marinated the chicken, Diane and I cooked it (while the guys were trying to catch the "big fish") and Diane made this pasta salad that was out of this world. She outdid herself. Diane and I had taken a trip to Houghton Lake earlier that day and bought all the fresh veggies and fruit at a great little homegrown market. Fresh cucumbers and tomatoes with a little salt and pepper, mmmmm.

Diane, Jeff, Eli and I worked as a team the entire week and we all had our little jobs that we did and were in charge of. Mine was to keep everyone in clean clothes. I probably did 3-4 loads a day. There was so much sand and the kids went through so many clothes and towels each day. I think I was even called the laundry Nazi. Diane even made me wash all the rugs in the cottage because they weren't clean enough for her. We all managed work together to keep the children happy, fed, somewhat clean.

The scenery was beautiful. Just sitting on the deck, you get lost in a zone. There was a rainbow that came out in the evening two days in row, when there wasn't even rain. It was beautiful.

The moon at night would literally glow off the water. The stars were magnificent.

My parents were able to come out and enjoy in the fun and arrived on Wednesday. With 11 people you would think that things could get a little sticky, but it was nothing but fun!

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil ~ The 3 Stooges

My Mom even slowed down enough to enjoy the book I finished earlier in the week.

It was peaceful and calm with no noise at times, except of coarse when you heard lots of laughter or when one of the little ones were a little tired. Erika, Lauren, Olivia, and Ryan shared a room with two bunk beds and Makenna had a room all to herself until Nana and Papa came, then she bunked with Eli and I.

A few nights we had a fire with s'mores for the kids and did sparklers that Uncle Dave bought for the kids. They loved it. The kids enjoyed the rides in the fishing boat and the paddle boat. There was so much to do and there was hardly ever a dull moment!

Pictures just don't do this trip justice. You can see the rest of them HERE. Diane and I were a little camera happy!

Vacation 2008

Michigan Pain Institute

2008-06-10T16:16:00.003-04:00

I had a doctors appointment last week and there is a new and improved (hopefully) plan of action. Dr Carbajo is sending me to the Michigan Pain Institute to be evaluated and have injections of cortisone put in the area that is causing all these shenanigans. They will do these injections 3 times, 2 weeks apart, under sedation. I will be doing these along side with 4 more week of physical therapy. My physical therapist thinks that it will enable me to handle the more strenuous exercises without causing inflammation and muscle spasms that is causing all this pain. Hopefully it help me heal faster so I can get my independence back and get me back to work faster. I also need to be ready to start my nursing rotations at the end of August. I am being optimistic and am going to work as hard as I can. My first injection will be on June 30th, the Monday we get back from vacation. I have been told that everyone has different results with this treatment, I am trying to keep my expectations mid range. That should be pretty safe.

Weekend with my big Sis

2008-06-10T15:41:00.005-04:00

Makenna crashed out with both Mermaids in her hands.

Ryan reading Makenna a bed time story

A dip in the pool

Enjoying some popsicles

The girls, Titus and I packed up and headed over to Diane's house for the weekend because Eli was absent. The kids actually behaved for the most part. There were few temper tantrums and lots of fun for them. They played on the slip'n'slide, in the pool, rode bike, took the dogs for some walks, read books, played with puzzles, ate lots of food, watched some movies and played indoors during the tornado warning and thunderstorms. There was even a stressful game of scene-it, I can giggle about it now. Diane and I drank lots of coffee and were able to get in a few girly movies after the kids crashed from pure exhaustion. She had some adult beverages in the evening, as I stuck to my drugs and had to pull out the vicoden occasionally. Some of us got a little burnt and I worked on fading my farmers tan.
I am now completely excited for vacation, we leave a week from Saturday, but instead of a little pool, we have a lake. An added gift will be that our husbands will be there to help. It is a lot of work to keep 5 children under the age of 8 happy and fed and we won't be as out numbered. An added bonus is that we won't have 3 dogs running around playing with each other and panting excessively (which drove Diane absolutely nuts, she's a little sensitive). I missed hanging with my sister and I even joked at the end of the weekend that we would be a great team as a married couple. Diane worked harder than I did. I stuck to what I was aloud to do and helped out as much as I could. You can see the rest of the pictures here or click on the album.

Weekend at Dianes

Comin Back To You

2008-06-10T15:29:00.001-04:00

The Crossroads Worship Dance Team

Erika and Emily, two peas in a pod

Erika and Olivia were so excited to dance on the worship team 2 Sundays ago (yes I'm late, sorry). Olivia especially because it was her first time. The whole team and Miss Jen did a great job praising God that morning!

His Voice

2008-06-01T21:29:00.004-04:00

My cousin Kristen (on the right) from Florida, that now lives in Knoxville is a beautiful singer. She has even performed at DollyWood. Eli and I were even honored that she came to Michigan and sang at our wedding. She has made a few personal CD's. Her new project is making a new worship CD. She went to Nashville this past weekend to start on it and is so excited about it. The production company that has picked them up it Eddie Crook. Her group she is in is called His Voice.

Olivia's Spring Musical

2008-05-31T17:26:00.002-04:00

Olivia had her spring musical a few weeks ago. It was very cute! She did such a great job! She's a pro at this because she did it last year with her junior kindergarten class. My Mom, Auntie Diane, and Ryan joined Makenna and I to see the performance. There are a few videos of Olivia and her class and some of Makenna. Not that anyone but probably Eli's family would be interested in watching. Just click on the pictures with the little video icon on the lower left hand corner when you get to the web album and it will play them. The video's didn't come out that nice but Olivia is the one with the light blue long skirt and shirt on.

Olivia's Spring Musical

WEB ALBUM

Gypsy Moth

2008-05-31T16:33:00.001-04:00

Erika was a gypsy moth in her spring musical. It was all about bugs and spring time. It had a lot of cute comic relief lines and a bunch of songs. She had a quite a few lines she did beautifully!!! I was so proud of her. There were 2 classes that participated in it and they all did a great job, it was a lot of material to remember! I would've posted some of it but I have it recorded on my dinosaur video camera that uses VHS and couldn't record much because I had Makenna with me. Thank god a friend of mine was there to help me with Makenna, because she ate all the good suckers in the first 10 minutes of the program. I also wore my brace.

Shasta went to her new Mommy

2008-05-31T16:30:00.002-04:00

Olivia and Shasta on their last night together

Shasta went to her new home yesterday. Erika, Olivia, and I took her to her new Mommy's house last night. Monaca's Mom saw her on my blog, fell in love with her and decided she was ready to have a new kitty in her house, she had lost her 20 year old cat about 2 years ago.
Olivia and Shasta were quite a pair and it was difficult to decide not to keep her and difficult to explain to Olivia why we couldn't keep her. After we dropped her off, Olivia did shed some tears but was very happy that her new Mommy had all sorts of toys for her when she arrived and that made her feel so much better. Carolyn (Monaca's Mom) sent Erika and Olivia an email last night thanking them for Shasta and thanking them for taking such good care of her. They both had huge smiles on their faces after I read them the email last night. Olivia is still missing her but she is also so very happy that Shasta and Carolyn get to be together.
AND Eli is happy we don't have 5 cats. I am just happy that I saved Shasta's life and could bring joy to someone else. She was so much fun and will be missed.

My step back

2008-05-31T14:57:00.002-04:00

I think I am at the point in one's life that when I am older I hopefully can look back at all this and laugh. This whole situation will be a story I can talk about and say I went through it and tell someone who is in the same situation that YES they will get through it and one day it will be better. But right now I am loosing faith, hope, and my sanity.
Tuesday morning when I woke up I felt great, went to physical therapy and was so proud of myself. Frank (my physical therapist) was happy with my progress and I was ahead of schedule. I was a little stressed that Frank told me he didn't think I should go back to work for at least another 3 - 4 weeks, but he said "we will see how it goes". He even gave me new exercises and I kicked butt. Wednesday was ok, a little sore from doing so much on Tuesday but still....I was happy and had a great attitude. It was a good sore, a work out sore.
Thursday at the dentist, Makenna was being a good girl for the first 45 minutes, after that, she lost control. Dealing with hearing the news about Olivia's teeth, trying to understand the treatment plan and trying from keeping Makenna from tearing up the place I had to pick her up and hold her more then once. Long story short, my back didn't like it. A few hours later at PT my back was spasming and I spent about 2 1/2 hours with my PT crying and in pain. He told me that just because I feel better one day doesn't mean that I am healed, that I have to remember that this is serious and I have to take it slow. He reassured me that sometimes this happens and that I just aggravated it a little and this is just a little bump in the road, that I pushed it a little too far. I felt like a complete ass because I had one of the moments that when you start to cry you can't stop. I was so frustrated, my PT and his tech did everything they could to help relieve some of the pain. I felt that everything I had done and all the work that I had done at PT was just erased and I was back at square one.
Friday I went back to the PT and I am now off most of my exercises and back on just massage, traction, some sissy exercises and the tread mill, plus I am back to being on pain medication regularly. Depending on how it goes through the weekend we can start adding things slowly again next week.
I want to take a huge jump forward!!!!!

Our Olivia

2008-05-30T11:52:00.004-04:00

Olivia has been having mouth pain again. I was referred to yet another dentist by another mom I know (this is Olivia's 4th dentist). They squeezed her in yesterday morning, as a new patient and off we went. The tooth she had a pulpectomy done on at the 3rd dentist (that had refilled 2 times already) has now abscessed along with 3 other teeth that are on their way to doing the same thing. Olivia, who is now terrified of the 3rd dentist, has to have a tooth pulled (by an oral surgeon under anesthetic), a spacer placed, 3 pulpectomy's, 4 caps, and 4 other cavities filled. There are nine teeth total that need to be worked on in 7 visits total. 2 at the oral surgeon and 5 at the dentist. We have appointments all set up until the beginning of August.
Olivia has been through hell already with her teeth, ever since she was 2, this is why the dentist recommends anesthesia with the abscessed tooth, she believes that Olivia would loose the only trust and cooperation she has left if they were to pull the tooth with her being aware of the situation.
Monday we go in to see the oral surgeon for evaluation and to get her set up to have the tooth pulled, which will probably be sometime next week. Once that space has healed, the dentist will go to work on the rest. Olivia did a lot of crying yesterday and she hates her medicine that she has to take every 8 hours.
I feel so bad for her but I am trying really hard to be ok with putting her under anesthetic again, for her sake.
I am happy with her new dentist and Olivia seemed to really trust her. The office staff worked really hard to make her experience yesterday a good one and they succeeded. So I feel that we are in good hands. I just can't believe that 9 teeth can go this bad in 6 months.
Hearing all this and dealing with all this along with finding out that blue cross blue shield will only cover $1000 and Makenna was running around screaming and acting a terd was a lot to take.

Queen of Hearts

2008-05-19T18:34:00.004-04:00

Who's been painting my roses red?

I am no longer know as the Sea Witch. Now Makenna calls me the Queen, but not just any Queen, the Queen of Hearts. She says........

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS, your Majesty!"

Sometimes she will even curtsy.
In my opinion, I feel more like the pot smoking caterpillar with all the drugs I'm on.

OFF WITH HER HEAD!!

(Gosh, I think I'd rather be known as the Sea Witch)

Nursing Orientation

2008-05-08T14:55:00.004-04:00

Tonight is my nursing orientation. It is from 6-8pm smack dab in the middle of campus. My sister is driving me because I don't know how well I will do going 75 mph on I96 (ok so I really usually go 80 mph). Eli offered to take me but I thought he needs a break from me and needs a little Brad time. So I am excited to go and I have a starbucks gift card so Diane and I can get a coffee for our drive. The best part about it is that I have a handicap sticker. So I get a great parking spot, but I am leaving my walker at home.
Dave you will be happy to know that I will be sporting my fanny pack though.

Brad, Joann, and Sue

2008-05-08T14:21:00.006-04:00

I love my bosses, well gosh, I probably have more bosses than I should because of all the hands in the cookie jar....but for the most part I am treated like family, sometimes too much like family, mostly better than family. We all bicker like old married couples. When my back injury at work happened Sue, Brad, and Joann were so caring and understanding. They love Eli and my girls like they love their own family and they are such giving people. I have had many ups and downs through the years and some of the dynamics with Jeffrey Animal Hospital were hard to handle but this is my home away from home and would never change a thing. To think of how good they have been to me over the years and that I will be leaving in the future brings tears to my eyes and was one of the hardest decisions I had to make.
There are clients and patients there that I have seen as a puppies and kittens, seen them grow and helped walk them to the grave and loved them with the all the love that I have in my heart.
Anyways.....Brad, Joann, and Sue have bent over backwards to take care of me during this injury. My family talks about Brad, Joann and Sue like they are family. They are great people and they will always be a part of me and who I am and what I will become in the future. Thank you Brad and Joann for giving me an opportunity to shine, show who I am, and deal with my....lets just say, dominating personalities!
Joann is also having a hard time with her foot right now, she just had surgery and will be going through PT as well. We actually will be going to the same place I believe. Please keep Joann and her family in your prayers, she needs prayers just as much if not more than I.
Also please pray for Eli and Brad that they can put up with us.......

Physical Therapy

2008-05-08T13:58:00.003-04:00

So today was my follow up with my internist on my progression to the incident. I have finished the Prednisone and I am not happy about it. It was the only medication that was really helping and it gave me energy to kept me positive and kept trucking. I begged for more but it was a no go, she called it an immediate fix and not a long term fix. Instead I got more Vicoden ES and Valium, good think I am a happy drunk. It keeps me cool, calm, and collected. I am ready to start my physical therapy and I am going to go to the PT that my mother uses. The one my internist recommended couldn't get me in until June 2nd, and I was not about to wait that long to get back to work. I am going to Oakland Physical Therapy starting Monday three days a week for 4 weeks. I am going to be under the care of Frank Kava so off I go. If PT doesn't help the next step would be epidural injections, but I am going to be optimistic and work hard. I can do this!

We all need a nap once in a while

2008-05-05T12:14:00.003-04:00

Kenna fell asleep on the toilet taking a "turtle poop" (that's what she calls it)

This is what happens when I can't run after Makenna anymore (she is much faster than me lately, my walker just can't move that fast), I slipped some of my Vicoden and Valium in her apple juice. (OK TOTALLY KIDDING, I don't need child services at my door, yet I could probably use a vacation) She always asks me "You back hurr Momma, oh poor Momma, you yet me wub it?"
And I don't usually post nasty pictures of myself (or frumpy as Jon would call them) but having Kenna in a peaceful quiet moment with me was too precious to pass up. If only she was this quiet.......

Kenna loves to play outside on the swing set and her favorite is the teeter tauter. She has a huge cut on her nose to prove it. She can get up pretty high all on her own...."LOOK AT ME MOMMA", yes Kenna I see you and please God don't let her fall. FEARLESS I SAY!

OK I think her name is "Shasta"

2008-05-05T11:57:00.003-04:00

AH HELP ME!!!! Put me down so I can bite you!

Eli loves kitty cats.......

Erika is a PRO

I am so happy that Shasta is bottle feeding. It makes life so much easier. She is so much fun especially when she bounces around and bites you. Well actually it scares the S#&* out of you. She loves Titus, but Titus just runs from her. Anyone want her? I have strict regulations and there with be a home visit.....

Bed Rest

2008-04-30T19:44:00.008-04:00

On Monday I was sent from work to Botsford hospital by ambulance because of a back injury. It took 3 doses of Fentanyl and 4 men to move me from the kennel room to the ambulance. I would take childbirth any day over what I felt. After being at Botsford for almost 6 hours, they couldn't tell me anything and/or control the pain properly. In my opinion Botsford ER sucks! Tuesday I had an MRI and yesterday I went to my internist for my results. I have a bulging disc between L5 and S1 with degeneration and arthritis in my sacrum, she said that it wasn't really normal for my age, but hey nothing ever is in my case. The good news is that the the disc is not completely herniated and cutting off the nerve supply but the inflammation that all this has caused, intermittently puts too much pressure on my nerves. So she has also started me on Prednisone (yeah so I get to gain 10 pounds). After the pain and numbness resolves I will be starting rehab. So as of right now I am sporting this baby.......
Having a quad level house doesn't make life any easier, but I am starting to master the stairs. I have only fallen once and Eli (thank God) was there to catch me.
Erika helps me get dressed in the morning (what a big girls she is). Olivia loves to do anything for me. She has even been doing some laundry. Makenna has picked up on things and tries to help as much as a 2 year old can and she keeps me smiling through the day. I have the greatest friends and family. My Mom and Dad have been here almost everyday. Kimmy is taking over the mommy role for my sick kitty. Jen brought dinner over Monday night, Cath came over and spent the day with me, folded laundry for me, took me to the doctor, made dinner, and made me laugh. I can't even begin to tell everything Eli has done, some things I cannot elaborate on. He has been my sole support system and I can honestly now say he has seen me at my worst.
I am a control freak and relying on other people is very difficult for me. I feel helpless and useless. Thank God for the all the important people in my life, I just hope one day I can return the favor.
So to make a long story short....I am in pain, highly medicated, and very bored. So if anyone is bored and wants to be bored with me, come on over and you could bring me some people or star magazines. I love the gossip smut magazines. I want my independence back and I am trying to find the humor in all of this.

Ryan's feminine side

2008-04-25T11:56:00.004-04:00

Erika, Lauren, and Olivia were born one after another. They have pretty much been raised together treat each other like sisters which includes sibling rivalry. All girls included a lot of whining and foo foo stuff. We had a little break, then we saw a light....A BOY. Poor Ryan. He has been with girls girls girls. He has adapted well. He likes to play dress up and princesses with Makenna (as you can see above). Eli and Jeff are constantly chasing him around telling him to put that down or take that off..."be a man". I love Ryan and I think he is perfect just the way he is. He definitely knows how to play like a boy, he is just in touch with his feminine side. He will make some woman very happy one day. Makenna and Ryan are great together and it's a nice break from the constant bickering that Erika, Lauren, and Olivia do.

Vesta

2008-04-25T11:45:00.002-04:00

Vesta is an orphan kitty that I have been taking care of since Saturday. She has had her good days and bad days. She has a severe upper respiratory infection. So I have been tube feeding her, medicating her every 4 hours and being her Mommy. Yes I am falling in love with her. If I put her down she finds me and follows me all around the house. This is the reason why I already have 4 cats. I cannot Mother something and then give it away. Eli is trying to remind me that we don't live in animal kingdom.

A visit with Sophia and Marina

2008-04-25T11:37:00.003-04:00

Erika and Sophia

Makenna, Olivia, and Marina

The Dennis's came over last Saturday night and the girls were up and cheerful until 11pm. Bobby and I were dwindling before they were. Marina and Makenna are so fun to watch. It is nice to see Makenna interact with children her own age. I can't believe Marina and Makenna are growing up so fast. I hope they stay the best of friends. It seems like yesterday that I was still watching Marina and my days were filled with diaper changes and bottles. I don't miss the babies crying and needing to be fed at the same time or waking each other up from their naps, but I do miss all the precious moments. Marina was like my forth child and I feel like I don't even know Sophia because of life's busyness. She is a happy baby and has big beautiful blue eyes.

My Big Sis

2008-04-24T14:44:00.000-04:00

Diane is graduating tonight from U of M Flint. She will now hold a bachelor's degree in social work with HONORS and will be moving on in the near future for her Masters degree. I am so proud of my big sister. She has worked so hard! Diane is a huge inspiration to me! Great Job Di!!! Wish I could be there to see you tonight, but I will be with you in spirit! YOU DID IT!!!!

This could be Eli one day......

2008-04-24T14:16:00.003-04:00

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband. "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked. "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would only have to spend $150?"

The man then replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

It's Official

2008-04-16T21:52:00.003-04:00

Dear Dana,

We have completed Phase II review of your application for the Career Ladder Nursing Program. You have been admitted to the Fall 2008 class. Please accept my congratulations!

The rest of the letter pretty much read blah blah blah, orientation meeting blah blah blah. Holy crap I did it! In roughly 25 months, I will be an RN!!

Twin Lake Chalet

2008-04-15T16:35:00.004-04:00

The view during the day

The view at night

The Cottage

Diane and I put many hours into a search that seemed endless at times. We looked online at so many different websites. We have talked to people on the phone and through email. At one time I think I had over 50 emails that were conversations back and forth to renters, Diane, Jeff, and Eli. Well the original one we wanted ended up having a cancellation come up on Saturday. Diane had jumped on it and we have reserved it for 1 week at the end of June. We are going with the good ol' Meadors family. This cottage is perfect! It is equipped with boats, tubing, fishing equipment, game room, private beach, horseshoes, fire pit, and fully stocked wine cellar. What we will add is lots of laughter, probably some tears (with Makenna it's inevitable), euchre tournaments (Jeff and I will of coarse prevail), Texas hold'em, exquisite barbecued food by Chef Eli and Chef Jeff and lots of memories! I am in need of some family time and knowing it is in the near future makes life a little easier. The one thing it won't be is quiet, that's for sure, but that's just part of the territory.

Thank You Norma Pegram

2008-04-15T10:05:00.003-04:00

I received two envelopes from LCC yesterday. One being in a regular envelope and the other in a BIG envelope. I let Eli open letters from LCC because I would rather hear bad or good news from him, it went like this........

Dear Dana,

CONGRATULATIONS! On behalf of the LCC Foundation Board of Directors, it is my pleasure to inform you that you have been selected to receive the LPN Scholarship in Honor of Mrs. Pegram. This award covers the 2008-2009 academic year (fall and spring semester) and will be administered through the LCC Office of Financial Aid.

We congratulate you on your academic achievements and wish you every success as you pursue your career goals her at Lansing Community College.

Sincerely,
Susan D. Fisher
Director of College Advancement

I hated school, I was never a good student. I received horrible grades and struggled all through grade school, junior high, high school, and college (the first time around). Without an acceptance into the nursing program as of yet (a couple more weeks of agony before I should find out). It keeps my spirits up knowing that someone believes in me enough to give me money for a goal they believe I will achieve. I didn't expect to receive any scholarship. I filled out an application, had two letters of recommendation (from Dr. Muns and my academic adviser) and wrote a personal statement and hoped for the best. It was a pat on the back for me, to actually know that all I did to redeem myself academically was noticed. Last night, laying in bed with Eli, I thanked him and told him that this scholarship was for him too. If it wasn't for him, his support, his help, I would have never been able to accomplish what I did and get the grades I did. I love being able to share these moments of greatness with him. I could not have done this alone or ever want to do this journey without him. This accomplishment I truly share with Eli, because we did it together.
The scholarship doesn't pay for all my tuition for the next year, but it will help and it is money that I don't have to pay back! What a great feeling!
One of the reasons that I chose LCC was because half way through the RN program I will be eligible to take the National Council Licensing Examination – Practical Nurse (NCLEX-PN). If I pass the examination I can work as a Licensed Practical Nurses (LPN) while I finish my second year. Some employers have been known to help with tuition for the second year if you sign a contract saying you will work in their facility after graduation.

Oh.....so that's what God is doing

2008-04-15T09:49:00.004-04:00

I had to laugh this morning when I read this bible verse for the day on my Google homepage.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Bowling for a cure

2008-04-10T14:48:00.002-04:00

The relay for life walk that I am participating in is having a bowling fundraiser at MerriBowl lanes on Friday April 25th at 9:15pm. Tickets are $20 per person and includes three games of bowling, a piece of pizza and a pop. Shoes will .99 cents, small price to pay to share feet lint (sorry, I think renting bowling shoes is a lot like wearing someone else's underwear). Spending a night with Eli and I.......priceless. The money will go toward our booth at the relay to help up sell hats, food, etc. Oh and there also will be 50/50 drawings that night.

It's all about me......

2008-04-10T14:23:00.003-04:00

I know....my house is a mess
I believe...in God
I fought....for almost everything I have
I am angered....by disrespectful and hurtful people
I love....everyone in my life
I take.....things too seriously
I hear....Makenna playing and talking to herself when she should be napping
I drink...too much coffee
I hate.....doing bills
I use.....mistakes as learning experiences
I want......to be out of debt
I like......who I am
I feel.....exhausted
I wear.....whatever is most comfortable
I left....work on time last night
I do.....everything I can for my family
I hope....for the future
I dream...of a vacation
I drive....well, even though my husband doesn't agree
I listen....to music all the time
I type....very well
I think.....I can get through it
I need...Eli's strength and support
I wish...I already finished nursing school
I am....a thankful wife, a loving mother, a great friend, sister, daughter, and student
I regret.....not believing in myself enough to go to nursing school after high school
I care...about everything and everyone that is a part of my life
I should...take a shower
I am....usually happy, goofy and slightly obnoxious
I said....I love chocolate near my area
I wonder....why God hasn't given up on me yet
I changed....too many diapers
I cry...when I watch girly movies
I lose....my car keys, camera and cell phone all the time
I leave...no one behind

NO MORE DIAPERS

2008-04-08T20:22:00.000-04:00

Makenna is officially potty trained, including night-night time! This is the first time in over 8 years that we will not have to buy diapers, wipes, pull-ups, or goodnight panties! WHEW, that was a long ride. I never have to clean a poopy diaper again, at least until grandchildren come along......

Spinning my wheels

2008-04-08T12:36:00.002-04:00

I am absent. That would be the one word that describes me at this moment. I haven't been answering my phone. If you don't have a problem with your animal, I have nothing to talk to you about. Every muscle in my body is sore. Work has consumed me and and spit me out. I don't remember the last time I had a real adult conversation that didn't consist of children and/or animals. It has almost been a month since I worked less than a 45-50 hours in a week. I am trying to find the time and energy to be with and truly enjoy my family and my house and I am ultimately failing.
Yes I know that things could be worse and I should feel grateful and blessed for all the wonderful things in my life. I should be grateful that Eli and I are employed and have each other and healthy children. It would actually be easier if I actually had time to enjoy the wonderful things in my life. There isn't enough time nor energy left.
The sad part about it, is with all the work I have been doing, we have caught up on how bad we were financially, but still have nothing to show for it. Once school starts again, it will be just as bad once again. One good thing is work will not be all that I am. I would rather be by myself studying than be with some of the people I work with that have a total lack of respect for one another. It is frustrating that I am putting so much effort into something that I feel is so unrewarding. I don't expect special attention for a job well done, but a simple thank you once in a while would be nice. Not the constant nagging, disrespect, demanding and bitching. Being with the animals is what gets me through the day, knowing that I am actually helping them, they even seem more grateful most of the time. I am having a problem with people and I am starting to question if I will be able to handle it in the medical field without the animals to buff the crappy attitudes. I don't expect everyday to be filled with sunshine and roses, but an occasional day, when you feel that you really made a difference makes it all worth while.
Eli has been trying really hard to help me with my little attitude problem and being the wonderful man that he is, is what is keeping me from throwing in the towel. He is the strong one, he is my grace. I remember when I first started going to church, alone, when Erika was a baby, searching for God knows what. Praying so hard for Eli to do church with me. Begging him to come with me, wanting so much more for us. For him to see God the way I saw him. Struggling to stay committed to my want to be in relationship with him, when Eli wanted no part of it. The role has drastically been reversed. He is involved probably as much if not more. He has been reading bible verses to me that he got from his small group and it is taking all that I have in me not to tell him to shut up and leave me alone. He is reading the bible, trying to give me insight on life and love. I tune him out the way I tune out Makenna, Olivia, and Erika when they are whining. Every chance he gets, he tells me that he loves me and why he loves me and how much he loves me. He hugs me and just gives me a simple kiss and I think to myself, why? Is he mental? I have actually thought to myself that he deserves better. I am truly ugly inside right now, filled with a ton of hateful and pessimistic feelings. I am doubting my strength and courage.
This is not who I am or what I want to be. I have always been a happy go lucky, social person who loves to be with anyone and everyone. I love to laugh, especially at completely inappropriate times and add my smart ass two cents in at all cost. Lately it is hard for me to give a simple smile and say hello.

Let it be

2008-03-13T09:41:00.005-04:00

I am a huge American Idol fan, but I never vote. Eli & I are pretty good at picking the top 12. My favorite from the initial auditions was Brooke White and I am happy to see her still in it. Eli was not a huge fan, but is slowly converting. This past week, she sang Let it Be. I am not a huge Beatles fan, but WOW. I had chills and yes I even shed a tear or two.

Booogers

2008-03-05T11:00:00.003-05:00

Makenna: As she grabs my finger and puts it toward her nose...

"Momma pick my booooooggers, it sucky"

I guess I should just be happy that she isn't picking them and eating them.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

2008-03-04T09:50:00.006-05:00

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands" Proverbs 14:1

My cousin from Tennessee had sent me a link to a womans daily devotional to subscribe to about a year ago. I get a daily devotional sent to me every morning Monday through Friday. At first I read them and tried to reflect on them the best I could. After a little while I just read them and deleted them, then I stopped reading them all together. The past couple of weeks, I've really been trying to read them again. Todays devotional really home for me, not only in regards to my marriage, but in the way I am with the girls as well.
There have been many instances that I blamed Eli or the girls for my behavior and for the reasons I reacted to a situation or the way I felt. I expected them to change. Stomped my foot and acted like that little girl I once was and say "Well he/she did it first" or "I did this because they did that".
I have really been trying to go about my marriage and my parenting skills a different way. I tell myself to take a deep breath and bite my tongue before some horrible damaging words flow out of my mouth. I pray for patience, understanding, and strength everyday, sometimes 100 times a day. It is frustrating and so hard to change, even when I am well aware of how capable I am of hurting someone I love. Self control is a huge struggle for me and is probably the first characteristic I would change about myself. I can be self absorbed at times and so often I look back at how I have acted and an enormous amount of guilt takes over. I go to bed saying tomorrow will be different, and first thing in the morning I find myself getting pissed off when the girls aren't listening. Instead of letting it go, I dwell on it, and I let it set my mood.
I am a work in progress.

Norma Schultz

2008-03-02T18:15:00.005-05:00

Eli received a call from his Dad yesterday that his grandma is not doing well. I have only met her once when we were in Utah in 2002 and exchanged letters when she was still able to write them, she always enjoyed getting pictures of the girls and never did meet Makenna. She is a huge part of Eli's younger years. If you could please keep Eli and his family in your prayers. She is a great woman, from all the stories that I have been told from Bill and Eli.

Moments like this is when I feel sad for Eli, his family, and the girls. Eli being so far away and unable to be there......I feel so often that we miss out so much, even on the everyday.

Man and Wife

2008-03-02T17:53:00.002-05:00

Congrats to Mr and Mrs William Brown

Mr and Mrs Dave Kurt

Eli and I were honored to attend the wedding of the year on Friday. We both met Will and Monaca a couple of years ago though Brad, Dave, and Cathie. The wedding was perfect and beautiful and reception was a blast! I am so happy for them and they are truly blessed to have each other.
I was honored enough to finally meet the rest of the Kurt family and am relieved to find out that I am not Diane (not that being Diane would be bad) and I am not as frumpy as I look in pictures. I do like playing dress up once in a while with Eli, but mostly I can be found in sweats or scrubs and my hair thrown in a pony. Eli only wears a suit for weddings and funerals and always sports it well!
After the wedding we had a post party at the Marriott that lasted till the wee hours and am still catching up two days later.

You can see all the pictures here, including a few pictures that I borrowed (well....stole) from Susan and Dan.

Wilaca Wedding

Conscious Discipline

2008-02-26T12:30:00.004-05:00

Diane and I took Ryan, Olivia, and Makenna to the library last week and I checked this book out by Dr. Becky Bailey along with some audio tapes from Love and Logic. Not only is the information helping me to communicate and be a better parent, but it also helps me with issues I have in regards to my own childhood. I had a couple of WOW moments.
There is another session at the school tonight on conscious discipline. The session last week was interesting. My Mom went with me and it was a pretty great experience for the both of us, yet awkward when they explained that most of the disciple behaviors we learned that are wrong, hurtful, or damaging are behaviors we learned from our parents. It is difficult to be a parent, I am fully aware of that. I now have a better grasp on why my parents were the way they were and I don't think I would have fully understood if I didn't have children of my own. Now it is my responsibility to change for the better and not repeat certain behavior patterns. I am a good Mom, but this is my opportunity to be great. Bring it on!

It's Potty Time!

2008-02-26T11:33:00.000-05:00

Makenna is wearing big girl panties today! Erika and Olivia were already completely potty trained by this time. I've really slacked with Makenna. She has gone on the potty here and there and also pottied EVERYWHERE. She understands the whole concept but it has been my laziness. Hopefully this is the last case of huggies from Costco.

I yike yotion

2008-02-26T11:27:00.000-05:00

When you can't hear Makenna's loud mouth, she's usually getting into something. Thank God this wasn't on my time!

Partners in crime

2008-02-26T11:17:00.001-05:00

Gimmie a love!

You can never have too many beads. Wonder where my my Mom got all of them? Hmmmmmm

Ursula

2008-02-19T10:22:00.006-05:00

"You da sea witch Momma"

On Tuesdays, Miller offers free parenting classes with daycare provided. In the afternoon session is Jim Fay's "Love and Logic" session. The evening session is based on Dr. Becky Bailey's "Conscious Discipline".
From what I have read and watching some session on DVD, I like Becky Bailey's approach better. Brighton Area Schools try to follow "conscious discipline" in the classrooms.
I could use a little help in the discipline department. The girls listen to me so much better when Eli is around and that is so frustrating for me. I feel myself loosing my temper more that usual. Mostly because I am so sick of listening to the girls arguing with each other and arguing with me. Sibling rivalry is getting the best of me. Makenna has a mouth on her and repeats everything that Erika and Olivia say to each other. So Makenna will walk around saying "shut your mouth", "you not nice", "you mean", "you stop it", "go to your room" oh the list could go on.
The biggest issue I am having with the girls is when I say NO. I mean it and do not try and talk me out of it. Why can't NO just mean NO, and why the heck do I have to give a reason or argue the reason. Lately I just feel like everything is an argument and everything is forced. Taking away privileges isn't working and grounding isn't working. So hopefully this will help me take a calmer approach.

A Change

2008-02-12T10:34:00.000-05:00

So I gave my blog a little makeover. I needed a change, go figure. This week is my last week for a while that I will be working over 40 hours. After this week, I should be averaging about 30 - 35 hours, and I should only be working 2 weekdays a week, the rest is evening and weekends, but that should give Marlene a little break and I can be home during the day with the girls more. My house is somewhat clean, thanks to my mother coming over Sunday, while Eli was at the wings game, to motivate me. Sometimes I just need a good kick in the a##, and my mom is usually pretty good at doing that.
Makenna had a complete meltdown this morning because I wasn't dropping her off at "Nana's". OUCH! She is ok now because I bribed her with some suckers so it would seem that she would rather be with me.
This Friday I am officially applying for the nursing program and I am in gear and getting my paperwork together. I have yet another personal statement to write and I am going to use a lot from the personal statement from my scholarship application, so it shouldn't be that time consuming.
Tonight I am taking Erika and Olivia out to pick out their Valentines cards and we will be doing all that, which I actually enjoy. It is so fun to listen to the girls tell stories about their friends and why they are giving them a certain Valentine.
Eli and I have a lot on our minds the past couple of days and we are dealing with a few things that I will keep you updated on as soon as I can and we when we hear something. We have had a few nights that we have been up readdressing things and talking about life in general. We are emotionally exhausted, but working as a team and encouraging each other, which has been nice. I can't wait to have a little break together. I think I need some Eli time.

I would love this, just for a day!

2008-02-09T19:38:00.000-05:00

Tummy Ache

2008-02-01T20:19:00.000-05:00

Yes the entire family including the Meadors and Marshalls (excluding Lauren and Nana) had the stomach flu in the past 10 days. The wonderful thing about Makenna is that she doesn't just know how to get a little sick. She had the flu on Tuesday and Wednesday and then today started having horrible stomach pains followed by vomiting. After she finished vomiting was completely normal, and go on with being her happy self, no fever. Long story short. She is having periods of stomach pains where she clutches her stomach screaming ouch, ouch, ouch, tummy ache. Now the doctor, because of today and previous history of "tummy ache" and her pooping issues, we are now on watch of intussusception. At least I know about this disorder because dogs and cats actually get it too. So I feel well prepared.

Toothless Wonder

2008-02-01T20:08:00.000-05:00

Olivia lost her first tooth today, well she pulled her first tooth today! It probably could have stayed in a little longer, but we all know Olivia......she messed with it until it came out even if it started to bleed. She has only dropped it lost it on the way to her bedroom, found it and now has it underneath her pillow with probably 8 chapsticks and a couple packs of gum.

WHEW

2008-01-25T12:50:00.000-05:00

Anxiety attack? I almost had one. I called my academic adviser regarding my meeting I have to have with her so she can sign off on my portfolio for the nursing program, she told me to bring my waiver for my microbiology. Waiver? What waiver? It was something the director of the program told me over the phone. So all week I have been trying to get a hold of the person I actually talked to last June that said that they would waive it. I almost didn't get it because I took my micro 11 years ago instead of 8 and I got a C (yes a C), but that was the semester Eli and I were married and we had a miscarriage, and I was taking 14 credits and working 50+ hours a week, it was a rough couple of months. After 5 days of phone calls and emails, I finally have the waiver in my hot little hands. I literally sat and stared at my inbox until it came. The only reason why this lady decided to actually give it to me is because of my current 3.89 GPA and my lab tech experience.
The other obstacle I dealt with last week was my physiology teacher (she actually used the terms, "I'm sorry, I must have had a brain fart") gave me the wrong grade and I have been on the phone with her, the registrars office, and the science department. All I have to l say right now is do not stand in the way of my dream, I am bound and determined and I am on top of this. I have worked too hard for someone to make a simple mistake and risk me having to wait another year for this.
I am also trying to apply for a few scholarships, one application is due by next week and the other I can apply once I get the acceptance letter. A little money could help right about now......

Update on the job situation

2008-01-17T08:48:00.000-05:00

This week has been crazy. I am going on my 4th day of work. On Tuesday after training in cardio, I was hired in as a relieve technician for Dr. Brown. So it is official, I now am employed by 3 places and I have picked up a few more shifts. Cardio was great and I am trying to read and study and research different cardiac diseases, so I seem like I know what I am talking about. Today AEC was kind enough to get an animal from Last Chance Rescue to spay/neuter and Dr. Robertson is having someone show me how to put in a central line while the animal is fully anesthetized of course. I am learning so much and so excited but honestly exhausted. Last week my solo shift was absolutely crazy, I had 5 hospitalized animals and a surgery. I don't know how I made it through the day but was told by the doctor at the end of the shift...."You rock and I will play will you anyday". Dr Robertson walked in in the midst of all the chaos and told me that I was a hot topic during the doctors meeting and they want to see me on the schedule more. HEE HEE.

Yesterday (at Jeffreys) I found out that one of our technicians threw out her back and will probably be out for a while and another technician is pregnant. So until Kimmy comes back from maternity leave it will be crazy there and the doctors sometimes get, let say "stressed". So life at Jeffreys will be crazy next couple of weeks.

This Saturday I am working from 9 am to Midnight between Jeffreys and AEC and Saturday nights are usually pretty busy, and I will probably start running out of steam by 9. I will be drinking lots of coffee.

So I am off to put in a central line and I can't wait to go out tonight with some friends for some dinner, some laughs, and some wine....

Eli, thank you for your support, dinners waiting for me in the micro, dishes that were done, reading to the girls when you knew I was too tired, and your love. I know Eli is just as tired as me with his 50+ work weeks but is trying to help the best he can. My mother is an angel and has been babysitting for me more than she deserves and is supporting me and cheering me on, I couldn't be doing this without her.

Nothing worth having comes without a fight

2008-01-08T15:45:00.000-05:00

Our family routine started back yesterday, minus 14 credits and hours of studying. This may sound stupid but I am bored. Yes, I am a mom and work 2 jobs and I have laundry to do and a house to clean. The other night was the first night I tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep for a long time, it was like I was wide awake, ready for something to happen.
Cathie and I had a great lunch date last Sunday and talked about adventure. I need some. I have wants, I have goals, desires,doesn't everybody?
Cathie called me this morning and told me to listen to a teaching that Donald Miller gave at Mars Hill, about our life being a story and how incredibility powerful stories are in our lives. He went on to say that in order to have a story be meaningful, in order to have a human life be meaningful, you need a lead character, you need a group of people, and you need conflict and fears. The best part was when he said

"If there aren't hard times, your story won't make sense. If there aren't hard times, the character can not change. The only thing that really changes us is the hard times. Joy doesn't change us at all. We all want joy, but joy does not change us, it does not shape us, it does not transform us. Every story needs conflict or the story doesn't work. Every story needs resolution, it has to have to ending or has to be resolved or the story will leave us feeling empty."

I want a great story, I want to be transformed. There have been many times that I have felt like a victim to conflict, so many times I feared conflict but wanted my voice heard and of coarse I still have my moments of weakness and will for some time to come. I shouldn't fear it, I should deal with it....head on with an optimistic CALM attitude. Welcome it with open arms, consider it a gift to help me change or grow. I want an adventure, and I want to be a better person. I say to myself I want to face it, that I am rearing to go. Then when I have the opportunity, there are times I have regretfully run the other way.
AEC called me yesterday and asked me if I could cover and would feel comfortable filling a shift alone. That means just me and the doctor. Yes I do it everyday that I work at Jeffrey but that is a little different, Jeffrey's is a sense of home, where my comfort lies, where my confidence is. AEC there are different doctors, system, people, protocol....different everything, and all alone, I have only worked about 6 days and there are machines there I have never used alone without someone assisting me or making sure I didn't kill an animal. My immediate reaction was hell ya bring it on. Then I felt sick to my stomach. I am honored that they thought I was capable enough, but scared to let anyone down. Then today, I get a message from AEC, the technician in charge of cardiology, is going on vacation and wanted to know if I would be willing to train and work in cardiology hand in hand with Dr Brown (gulp). It took me about 2 hours and a little encouragement from my Mom, Eli, and Cathie and I called back and said yes. So next week I am going to be training for that. First of all I need to explain.....I hate the cardiovascular system and in the veterinary field Dr Brown is one of the best in Michigan. It is nerve racking for me, it is probably my biggest weakness when it comes to anatomy and physiology, not sure why, but it haunting to me. Now that it is said and done and it is written in my calender I am so excited and anxious and honored. I will accept this as a gift, a complement, a fear facing experience. I can learn from this, I can grow from this and be a better technician, a better nurse.
So yes I feel like I am starting a new story in the employment aspect of my life but I desire to have story that completes me in my home life, my life with my family, my life within myself. I wonder sometimes if people can see how terrified I am in the inside, sometimes with the simplest of decisions. I am good at faking how strong I am, I even fool myself occasionally.
I want my girls to learn that they are capable of anything. That they will be strong individuals, strong women, unafraid of the obstacles life has to offer. I want to set examples for them. I don't want them to be victims or fall short of their full potential. I want them to be proud of who they are. My motto I have really tried to live by lately is "if you don't learn from your mistakes it was a waste of time."
For quite some time I have second guessed my abilities, my intelligence, my strengths, my weaknesses, my capabilities, my sense of who I am, the goodness that I have in my heart. I can't really know for sure when it got so bad but it needs to stop. I am on my journey and I am going to take the long scenic route so I enjoy it that much more when I get there.

Don't drop the fruit snacks

2008-01-01T14:41:00.000-05:00

Makenna was spent. She was still up at 2 am waiting for some people to finish playing pai gow. Nana had put them in Kenna's coat pocket for her to have the next day, of coarse Makenna opened them as soon as she was in the car but fell asleep after the first one (before we were out of the sub), but had the death grip on them.

New Years Eve

2008-01-01T14:37:00.000-05:00

New Years Eve day Nana took the girls (Diane, Lauren, Erika, Olivia, and I) out for a movie day to see Enchanted. It was a very cute movie and Patrick Dempsey is always easy on the eyes, it was one of the better girly kids flicks.

I think Eli and I have spent every New Years Eve with Diane and Jeff since 1997. Usually my parents are up north or at other parties, this year they decided to hang with the family, so we all headed over to my parents since their basement if fully equip. Kimmy and Bobbie and my brothers friend Mike joined in and we had enough food to feed an army. The kids had a great time and the basement looked like a bar - casino - romper room. It was fun for all, except of course when the kids became a little over tired.

The texas hold'em game. My Mom took most of Eli's chips and took Diane out but the big winner was Dave. Later in the night after most of the kids (not Kenna) were sleeping along with Diane and I, they also played pia gow. There were also many games of pool and some darts.

Makenna and Marina sat in the pool chairs with their drinks (ice water) watching Ryan play pool. Giggling and talking, I think Kimmy and I are in trouble.

You can see all the pictures here.

New Years 2008

Happy Birthday Erika

2008-01-01T14:21:00.000-05:00

Erika turned 8 on Sunday. I can't believe it. Erika, Eli, and I sat together and went through her baby book. Wow, how children change and how parents change. Erika wanted to know why my hair was so short. I told her it was the "Mommy Do".

The Meadors and the Schultz's, minus Makenna who hung out with Nana and Papa, headed to the movies and saw Alvin and the Chipmunks. The kids enjoyed it. We had pizza over at my parents afterwards.

You can see the rest of the pictures here.

Erika's 8th Birthday 2007

Makenna's babies

2008-01-01T14:10:00.000-05:00

This is India and Lamb, also know as "Nnnnnda and Yam". She love these little ones and she has adopted them as her own. It is not fun when Mommy and Daddy can't find them when it is bedtime.

Gratzi

2008-01-01T13:40:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to my Mommy! We went down to Ann Arbor and went to one of my Mom's favorite restaurants, Gratzi's, then to the Comedy Showcase, then to a some Martini bar that I can't remember the name of. The rule was to order a Martini that you never had before. Diane wanted to order one called "salty balls" for Jeff, but for some reason he didn't want that one...hmmmm.

Dave played a song on the piano for all of us and during the evening he actually smiled more than once...

At the Martini bar, we went around the table one by one and talked about our favorite memories. The night was perfect. It was the first night in over 8 years that we sat together as adults, as friends and was able to enjoy each others company fully without being interrupted by little ones. It was a night I will remember forever! I love my family, we are just a quirky as most families, but it just felt like home!

You can see all the rest of the pictures here.

Mom Birthday 2007

Our Christmas

2008-01-01T12:59:00.000-05:00

Christmas Eve my parents, Dave, and Kevin came over to our house and we had a great night. The girls opened their traditional Christmas Eve p.j.'s (a tradition my Mom started when I was little). Nana and Papa gave them all new soft blankets to sleep with, in hopes that Olivia would throw out her nasty holey green one. The girls and I put out reindeer food for Rudolf and the gang. Eli and I were up until about 2 o'clock finishing up the wrapping and cleaning up from dinner. Someone forgot to bake cookies/buy cookies so Santa was surprised with milk, ham, and frito's, Titus happily took care of that when we went to bed, because Santa forgot to eat the scrumptious buffet. The girls were up and ready to go about 8 and we were at my Mom and Dad's by 12:30.
It is so awesome watching Christmas through the eyes of a child. Especially a 2 year old. Makenna was so excited this year. She was patient and so excited. She really enjoyed herself. Erika and Olivia were also such good girls this year, they were so happy and so thankful. Christmas morning was calm and relaxing, it was so nice just to be in the present with my family watching the interact with each other and enjoy each other. They were sharing and completely pleasant. It made all the stress and chaos completely worth it. I couldn't have had a better morning.

Makenna, Papa, and I were feeling under the weather but that didn't stop us from enjoying the day. Papa read the Little Mermaid (her favorite book) to Makenna to keep her from tearing open all the gifts waiting for the rest of the family to arrive. Kenna loved snuggling with Papa.

My Mom is the queen of Christmas and tends to spoil everyone. She was still wrapping when we arrived. She loves to give gifts and enjoys watching EVERY SINGLE GIFT be opened one by one. It is hard to keep 5 little ones patient enough to go through this process, but they all did a great job, we had to take a few breaks with family coming and going through the day.

Great Grandma, Aunt Marion, and Guy trucked out to Brighton and Kimmy, Bobbie, Marina, and Sophia also joined in the fun.

Click here to see the rest of the pictures

Christmas 2007

Snowman accessories

2007-12-21T19:59:00.000-05:00

A couple of years ago Eli's mom bought the girls props for a snowman. The girls and I found them with the Christmas decorations and they have been playing with them all night.